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After The Visit
Laura rushed to Cathy's side and knelt down. Cathy's lower face was covered with a wide leather strap, holding in some kind of gag. Attached to it was a harness that went under her chin and over her head, making it impossible to remove or slip off. Laura tried to open the buckles but they appeared to be locked shut. Cathy shook her head, as if to tell Laura not to try. Cathy tried to say something but the garbled sounds escaping around the gag were unintelligible.
Laura wiped the dried tears from Cathy's face then turned to examine the restraints. Cathy's neck, wrists and ankles were secured in some type of wooden stocks. Cutouts in the lower set of planks held her ankles while the upper set held her wrists and neck. Her arms were held wide apart, so that her hands couldn't reach her head. Her ankles were far apart, making her stance awkward and uncomfortable.
Laura saw the pleading in Cathy's eyes but couldn't figure out what she wanted. There was no way to release her or help relieve the cramped position she was in. "What is it? What do you want me to do?" Laura asked her.
Cathy thought for a moment, and then began moving her shoulders, as much as she could. Laura didn't understand but one of the other women did. "It's her shoulders, and her back," the woman spoke, "they must be sore from standing like that." Cathy nodded vigorously.
Laura stood behind Cathy and began massaging her shoulders. "That was a stupid stunt this morning. You were the one who told me it was so important to keep to the rules here. What were you thinking? You must have known something like this would happen, or you wouldn't have lectured me about it so often."
Cathy rolled her eyes and shrugged. Laura took that to mean a lecture wasn't needed. Laura stopped the massage for a moment to rest. One of the other offered to continue, so Laura sat down in front of Cathy. There wasn't much any of them could do for her, but Laura figured they could at least keep her company. "They put you here as an example to the rest of us, didn't they? That's why we were kept together tonight?"
Cathy nodded her head. Once again she attempted to speak, slowly pronouncing each word, but Laura couldn't make out what she was trying to say. "I'm sorry Cathy but it's the gag, I can't understand you"
At the sound of a hallway gate opening Laura and the other two women immediately knelt at the back of the room, behind the stocks holding Cathy. Two wardens stopped at the door, one with a cart in tow.
The one not holding onto the cart spoke up. "The three of you, turn and kneel facing the wall. No one is to speak or break position until I allow it." He waited while they turned around and settled into a new position before he unlocked the door. He entered the cell and went directly to Cathy, in the center of the room. The other guard stayed at the open door, ready to close it at the first sign of disobedience. Unable to see what was happening, she was surprised when he began to remove the gag. He bent down to open the stocks holding her feet, followed by the ones holding her neck and hands.
While he held onto her around the waist he helped Cathy stand up. "Slowly, move your arms and legs." The relief at being free of her wooden prison was quickly replaced by the aches and pains of her protesting body. He let her stand still and slowly straighten up before he helped her walk around. Once she could stand on hr own, he took her back to the other women and told her to face the wall. He went to the door and stopped just inside the door. "After we leave you have permission to speak and move around. There is a meal for each of you." They took the covered plates and cups off the cart and placed them on the floor before closing the door.
Once the wardens were gone Cathy slumped to the floor, grateful for a chance to finally sit down. The others gathered around to see if they could offer some assistance. Cathy waved them off, "all I need is to stay off my legs for a while." Laura brought one of the plates and a drink to Laura, and then sat down beside her. The other two women joined them as they all began eating.
"It wasn't right, them putting you in that thing," Laura began. "What are we supposed to learn from seeing someone tortured like that? I thought this was supposed to be a school, not a dungeon where we are the victims. That was cruelty, not correction." Laura's voice got louder as her indignation grew.
"Stop it Laura." Cathy sighed, she doesn't get it .
Laura ignored Cathy and kept on. "No I won't stop. You should understand better than any of us. We have to make a stand, tell them this is too much and we won't allow ourselves to be used this way." Laura stood up and went over to the stocks, now opened up. "We did away with things like this two hundred years ago. There is no reason anyone should ever have to suffer in one again."
Cathy shook her head and carefully stood up. Her legs were still wobbly but she needed to move around to prevent muscle cramps. " Sit down Laura, and listen to me." The stern tone in Cathy's voice startled Laura, who meekly sat back down in her spot against the wall. Cathy held onto the front of the stocks to steady herself and began. "Ever hear the old cliché about not seeing the forest for the trees? That's what you are doing.
"You look at this piece of furniture and see some evil instrument of torture and abuse. Because it's evil anyone who uses it must have some nefarious intent as well. To think that way is to be lazy. You aren't using your own brain to look at your assumptions critically. You made your point about what you think, now I'm going to tell you how I see it.
"All of you know what I did this morning. It's not something I'm proud of, and I don't want to go into the reasons why it happened. The rules here are clear, and everyone is aware that violations are severely punished. That's a given, up front, as soon as we arrive. None of us may like it, but those are the conditions we must live by. I know we aren't here by choice, but that doesn't matter. Our masters sent us here, and they do have the right to make that choice for us. What the guards did was put me in that contraption, but for the why, there you have look beyond the obvious.
"First, I have to tell you about myself. I love my husband, my master, and I'd do anything for him. He knows that too. It's not some abstract idea. I really do expect him to tell me what he wants me to do. Just as he assumes as a matter of course that I will obey him, in turn I look forward to him using his control over me, preferably to my benefit. When he orders me to do something for him, or sets up rules for me, I know exactly what I have to do to please him, no guessing. That's important to me. He's special, one of a kind, and I'll do whatever it takes to hold onto him."
Cathy walked around the stocks, pausing a moment before continuing. "If he thinks it's necessary for me to spend some time in this particularly nasty thing, well then I do it. There is no question in my own mind that I needed to be punished for what I did. How it is done, and the severity, are not up to me. I hope he will be fair but whatever he decides I will have to accept. I didn't much care for this," Cathy slapped a hand on top of the stocks, "but, bad as it was, it wouldn't even compare to him ignoring my disobedience.
"I have to know he is concerned, about me and about what I do for him. My submission would be meaningless if he didn't care about it. That's what makes Robert stand out. He does pay attention to everything I do. He watches, and if I slip he's on me about it. Most times it happens if I'm starting out on some new rule and I forget. He is patient but insistent on compliance. It may be nothing more than a raised eyebrow or a frown. I remember and adjust my behavior to his satisfaction.
"He is understanding but only to a point. Then he takes steps to make sure I appreciate he is serious. That's what happened here. The wardens put me in this but Robert knew about it and did not intervene. That's the why of it Laura, to prove he cares enough about me, to hold onto me, that he will resort to the harshest of measures if needed. It wasn't cruel, making me stand here. Robert was doing his job, proving to me he is my master and that he can be strong when there is no other way.
"The wardens were doing their job too. Their place in this school is to oversee us, and that includes what they like to call discouragement. The rules here are not the same as at home, but that's no excuse to ignore them. If I break those rules I will suffer the consequences. It is inevitable, cause and effect. I knew better but for reasons I won't explain I broke the rules anyway. The wardens determined these stocks were the proper punishment for what I did, so I do not criticize what is properly their role. It was not abusive, Laura."
"I like to hear Robert tell me he loves me and wants me, but I need to see it too. Whether it's just a look or I get the full lecture, or this," Cathy gestured toward the stocks, "he cares. I mean something to him, and that's my security. He values my submission and my obedience, the effort I put into it isn't wasted. I'm proud of who and what I am. My self-esteem is based on how well, in my mind, I meet all of Robert's needs.
If a guard comes back in the next few minutes and orders me back into this, I'll do it. I wouldn't like it, but it's not my place to say yes or no. Submission isn't about just the times when it's fun. There is a serious side too. I made a commitment to my master, a promise I have to keep. I gave him my obedience, for better or worse. Now I have to live up to my promise."
Laura stared at Cathy in awed silence. Could she ever be as devoted to Frank?
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