A Journey of Discovery

The beginning :

After the end of yet another unsatisfying relationship I just wanted something different, something special. I didn't know what and I didn't know how to find it, but I was 32 years old and hadn't had a truly satisfying sex life and I wanted what I read about in books and magazines, if they could find it why can't I?

I'd been to a wedding the previous week, they bride and groom had met via a chat room on the internet, it seemed improbable that I would meet someone that way but I decided to try so I entered an over 18 chat room. I'm not sure what I expected but within minutes dozens of little boxes were popping up all over my computer screen with much the same message, “hi, ASL plz”. I closed every one of them; they weren't for me that much I did know. There was one person there that I noticed, one name that stood out from the rest, he hadn't spoken to me so I made the choice to say hello to him. Part of me expected to be ignored, another thought I was completely crazy but it was too late, I had made my decision.

Initially “MaleDomforFemaleSub” didn't answer which left me disappointed and relieved at the same time, then just as I was about to leave the chat room and give it up as a lost cause a box popped up from him, “Hello, are you sub?” That was it just one question and I had to make my decision, am I sub?

Then I wasn't really sure if I was or not, I had fantasies about it, being controlled, being taken, being used even, but away from sex I have always been a confident, intelligent woman who likes being in control. I had been spanked before and loved it, but it was never hard, never serious and it never truly hurt. I'd been tied up but I always knew if I said “stop” he would. I had never really been pushed into anything unless I wanted to do it, but I wanted someone who could take me further, push my boundaries, and show me what was missing. So I answered in the affirmative…

That was it, as easily as that I had made a choice to step into the unknown, this was no child playing around on the internet, he knew what he was doing, he knew what he wanted and now I was his.

We talked in the chat room for a bit, he asked questions wanted to know what I had done with previous partners, have I had a Master before, why am I sub, what am I looking for, what sex toys do I own, I was honest answering every question, I told him things, admitted to fantasies that I had never told anyone before. I told him what I perceived my boundaries to be and after an hour he gave me his phone number with instructions to call him.

I called, my hands were shaking and my stomach filled with butterflies I didn't even think to withhold my phone number from him when I rang, I just did exactly as I was instructed. He didn't mess around, his voice was brusque and authoritative and he told me what he would do to me, what was expected of me, I was shocked but excited, nervous but determined to do it, prove I could.

“Go and get you anal plug, vibrator, towel and lube, now.” He demanded, obediently I went off to get them and then returned for more instructions. He told me to remove all my clothes and lay naked on the bed, I was to insert the anal plug into my vagina and squeeze my inner muscles around it, the plug was quite small and I was very wet with excitement so it slid inside me easily and then I firmly clenched my muscles around the smooth plug.

“Now use your index finger to find your clit, run it along until you find the vein that runs along it and then press down until it burns”, again I obeyed instantly pressing hard against my sensitive skin until I felt a little sore, unintentionally I had relaxed and the plug fell out so quickly I had to replace it and squeeze again whilst I pressed down. I could feel an orgasm building inside, that heat low in your stomach, the involuntarily clenching and unclenching of my pussy, my clitoris swelling with the pressure building in the temples of my forehead.

“Cum, now” and I did, it was as easy as that, 1 minute, maybe 90 seconds but no longer and I had already had an orgasm, that was a first, normally I took time, with lots of stimulation needed, I felt shaky and excited and could barely wait for my next instruction.

“Take the plug out and press it against your anus, when I say ‘go' push it in without stopping, smoothly but with force, don't stop and play around I want it up you anus straight away, do you understand?”

“But it will hurt; I'm very tight there…” I muttered, I enjoyed anal play but I normally need lots of lube and time before I can accommodate my plug.

“Sex pain is good, you'll learn to enjoy it, now don't argue with me, just do it. NOW!” At his command I thrust the plug firmly into my bottom, it stung a little as my sphincter was penetrated but then the delicious feeling of fullness overtook me and the plug nestled comfortably inside my bottom.

“Is it in?” he asked, I answered it was and I was ordered to push the vibrator into my vagina and switch it on, then leave it inside just using my internal muscles to work the toys inside me. On the phone I was given praise for being a good girl and told when to squeeze and relax, I could feel myself on the verge of orgasm again and at his command let myself cum.

I laid back on the bed panting into the telephone receiver, I felt so good, and it had been so easy, this was exactly what I wanted, I felt quite smug, however, that was not a feeling that was to last long though.

“Get up, remove the vibrator and place 2 pillows in the middle of the bed, place the towel over them and then fuck yourself with the vibrator whilst you straddle the pillow, don't do it softly, imagine it's me there and whilst you are thrusting that vibe into your vagina I'm going to push myself into your bottom, you'll like that wont you my little slut?” I blushed, but it was true, I would like that, I'd like him to be the one to do that to me. The pillows were obediently piled up and on I climbed to begin riding my vibrator. As I fucked myself with my hips buckling furiously against the pillows he whispered what he was going to do to me.

“Then just when you are about to cum I'm going to stand in front of you and tell you to open your mouth, open your mouth now slut, get ready for your Master, get ready for him to shoot his cum into your mouth.” The vibrator pumped away inside me, I was lacking all finesses, just grinding myself on it and my mouth fell open as though he was really there. “But I'm not going to cum inside your mouth my little innocent, do you know why?” I groaned I wanted his cum inside my mouth; I wanted to taste my Master. “I have something much tastier for you, something all little subs need and should have,” I felt so hot, my head ached and my pussy was getting sore from the pounding it was taking from my very own hand controlling the vibe. “Now cum, and I'm going to pee inside your mouth whilst you do.” I couldn't help it, I came when he told me to and I imagined he was pissing inside my mouth, that I was tasting his hot, smelly pee and drinking down his urine.

“Is that good, did you like that because I can assure you my little innocent you will drink my pee for me. Now go and clean yourself up, we'll talk later and you can begin your training.” He hung up, leaving me lying there confused, shocked, sore and very, very wet.

I eventually got up and went to the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked such a mess, my mascara had run leaving black streaks under and around my eyes, my pupils looked dilated and my face was flushed. I was now having second thoughts, I had always been taught that water games are disgusting, you don't drink pee, and you go to toilet, lock the door, clean up and then wash your hands thoroughly. You don't drink it, you don't let a man pee in your mouth, I couldn't do that, he can't be serious I decided, there is no way I'm doing that. My mind was made up.

The first training lesson:

The rest of the day I was on tenterhooks, when, if, he called I was going to tell him firmly, no water games, and no peeing in my mouth I don't want that, if he doesn't like it, tough. I kept telling myself that, there are just some things I won't do, and he had already found one.

Every time the phone rang I started nervously, but he didn't call. Slowly as the time passed I began to relax and eventually sat down to watch some television, the mobile phone was by my side on the chair and when it's shrill tone started I answered automatically, expecting a friend or my Mother with her usual inane chatter about everything and nothing. It was him , I don't know why I was surprised but I was and my stomach jumped with nerves.

“It's time for your first lesson,” he said, “Look,” I answered “I'm not sure about this now, I don't want someone peeing in my mouth, it's dirty and disgusting!”

“You little virgin, grow up, stop being so naïve. Urine is full of pheromones and you will learn to love your Masters, you just need training properly, now stop being silly and get ready for your first lesson, OK?” And it was OK, his voice despite being so brusque was reassuring and I then and there accepted him as in charge, I'd follow where he lead and learn from a real Master.

“Go and wash your hands thoroughly, get your KY, strip off completely and come back, go.” I went; I did as told and returned eagerly to await my next set of instructions.

“Before we arrange a weekend together you need to learn some basics, I like fisting but I'm a large man so you will learn to fist yourself before I touch you.” My mouth dropped and my heart rate sped up, I can't do that, there is no way I'm big enough to be fisted, I tried to tell him but he would brook no argument. “Just do as you are told, I won't hurt you, I'm going to guide you.” So I tried.

With the phone propped between shoulder and ear I was instructed to start masturbating myself, surprisingly I was wet, very wet already and two fingers slid inside easily, I thrust them gently in and out, scissoring them inside me, opening myself up a little until I was given the order to add a third finger, again they slid in easily but soon I had to add the fourth, it went in and I pushed my hips up and my fingers deep until I could feel my cervix. I was wet and spongy inside, I've never really examined my own body, when I masturbate I just use one finger and rub on my clit, this was different, I was being told where and how to angle my fingers, what to press against. Finally N. gave me the instruction to tuck my thumb inside my cupped hand and start pushing my hand inside my vagina. He wasn't gentle and soothing on the phone, he was hard and demanding, he wanted me to push my fist in. I tried angling my hips for better entry and pushed and slowly my hand began to thrust up. I got as far as my knuckles and could get no further, it just wouldn't go, I was too tight, I could feel my pelvic bone against my knuckles and there was just no give.

Disappointed I removed my hand telling N. I couldn't do it, he encouraged me to try again, this time using lots of lube, I squirted some inside my vagina before smothering my fingers in it too, and began again to push 4 fingers in, once they were in with ease I added my thumb and pushed. It still wouldn't go. I pushed harder using my other hand to try and force it in, but it wasn't to be. I gave up, devastated, I so wanted to do this for my new Master.

“Don't worry, by the end of the week it will be there, trust me. Until then I have some exercises for you to help. Get some lace knickers, not a thong, I don't like thongs you are never ever to wear one again, do you understand?” I agreed and grabbed some lace knickers, “now push them inside your vagina, all the way in” that was much harder than I thought it would be, the scratchy material was quite stiff and having a large bottom there was a lot of material to get in, with the help of more KY they finally went in, but I felt stuffed and quite uncomfortable.

“Now watch porn, lots of it, watch the women's faces, see how they enjoy cum and taking lots of penises. Watch and Learn. This should help you dilate and you can practises self fisting again later tonight. Bye.” Just like that he was gone. I was sat there stuffed with black lace knickers feeling very vulnerable and used, but happier than I can ever remember.

I have never really watched porn before, there was a gay porn film that a group of friends all watched together, but that was to laugh and giggle at, for titillation I've always preferred to read it, let my imagination take over. I put Sky on, and had to ring through to order the channels I would need, and then sat there for 2 hours watching girls having vaginal sex, anal sex, giving blow jobs, threesomes, even a foursome. I must confess it didn't really turn me on, or I thought it hadn't anyway. I didn't feel any wetter inside, my nipples weren't getting hard and seeing the perfect toned bodies of the girls just made me feel very frumpy and inadequate. I turned off the television and went over to my PC to check any emails before retiring to bed. There was one from N.

Straight away my mood lifted, my stomach skipped, breath became shorter and I felt excited and happy. He had left instructions for the following day. I was to buy some cotton buds, thin tapered candles at least 12 inches long, freezer bags and I was to order from the internet a much larger anal plug and douche. He also insisted that if I managed to fist myself I was to text him straight away. It was amazing, I had gone from wanting to give up to being desperate to fist myself in minutes and I took myself off to bed to carry on practising for him.

Another lesson learnt :

I still hadn't managed to fist myself, but it had definitely gone in a little further through the night. I went shopping and bought the required items, for the life of me I couldn't understand what I needed them for and I was eager to get back to find out.

Upon returning home I eagerly turned on my PC, N. wasn't there which was disappointing but I kept myself busy while I waited. He didn't turn up for hours but as soon as he did I instantly said hello and told him about my endeavours. He seemed pleased, but I was curious about my shopping list. I was instructed to practise using an apple in two freezer bags and lots of lube, I could start with a medium sized apple but I would need to work up to a larger one. He informed me that I had to use freezer bags as they are exceptionally strong, I felt very foolish not knowing about these things but he seemed to like my naivety.

But what about the cotton buds and candle? That I was soon to find out…

“Strip off and put your anal plug in, now” came the written instructions. I rushed to do as told and returned to sit naked in front of the computer. “Get a towel and fold it several times so it's comfortable to sit on,” again I did as advised and returned.

“Now spread you legs wide and moisten the cotton bud with a little KY”, I didn't do it at first, I was so curious I just wanted to know why but my Master became impatient so eventually I moistened the cotton bud.

“We're going to stretch your pee hole, after this lesson look up urethral sex and stretching, it's something of a speciality of mine and you will learn to do it.”

I knew straight away what it was and I was terrified. There is no way I would get anything up there, I was sure of that. It's a tiny opening, designed to pee out of, not for taking things up. Good grief what had I let myself in for?

I said no, I wouldn't do it, he was fine, but that was to be the end of our fledgling relationship, if I don't do this, don't try he didn't want me, it was as simple as that. I was so torn, something inside me wanted desperately to explore everything he could offer, it was all my fantasies come true, my darkest desires coming to life, and did I really want it to end before it had really begun? I was so ashamed but I had to confess I wanted someone to pee over me, in my mouth, I wanted to be fisted, I wanted hard anal sex, to learn to love swallowing cum, and I just had to see this through.

“OK I'll do it,” I told him, but he already knew I would, he understood me better than I understand myself.

“Find your opening and push the bud inside, once it's in be swift not gentle, it needs to penetrate your sphincter.”

“My sphincter” I queried, “you want it up my bottom?”

“Don't be so fucking stupid, it's like teaching a virgin, you are so bloody innocent!” I felt incredibly humiliated by this, but I had never heard of it before and I was scared and unsure of what I was doing.

“Find your pee hole and get it up there,” and amazingly enough I did, there was a slight stinging sensation but then the most amazing feeling as the end slid up a couple of inches. The end wouldn't go any further so I used my left hand to quickly tell N. and ask what to do. “Just press and it will give, how does it feel?” The end slid inside my bladder, the tiny piece of cotton wool gentle against my virgin sphincter and instantly I came, the feeling was so intense so weird. It was like every fantastic penetration multiplied by a thousand, my head fell back and I began to gently thrust the tiniest of dildos into an area I've never thought of as particularly sensitive. I felt like I was in constant orgasm I couldn't stop pushing it slowly in and out of me, the only thing was it didn't feel big enough after a little while, I wanted more.

I told N. how good it felt, I told him it wasn't enough and he understood, he told me to use a pen next, to put it in a condom and use some lube and so off I went to find one. I couldn't lay my hands on a pen but by the telephone stand was a pencil, one with a lovely rounded end, it looked perfect and so I grabbed it and a condom and returned to N. That too went easily up inside me, inside my pee hole, inside my bladder until just the nib was clutched in my fingers, I was in absolute ecstasy and thrust the pencil again and again and again into me. I couldn't wait to try the candle, but my Master advised against just yet, keep practising with the pencil first, I was quite disappointed but heeded his advice.

I kept using my mini dildo until I became aware I was sitting on a wet patch, I had peed myself, I waited for the feeling of shame but I was quite proud, and so was N.

My second lesson was complete and I was totally his to control and command. I just had to wait for the next session.

A silence

It was amazing how in just a few short days I had changed, and learnt so much already. I was more familiar about my own body, more aware of my sexuality, I felt more confident, yet I was becoming increasingly reliant on N. and his instructions to be able to orgasm. Alone I would practise self fisting; I also used small apples in freezer bags and would masturbate myself with them inside me. My butt plug felt like one with me, I had it inside my bottom so often, not that I objected to that, it did feel wonderful.

However, something was missing, and that was my new Master. Part of me expected the silence, knew he was waiting for the day I let him know that I had managed to get my whole fist in, and for the moment of self discovery when I fucked my peephole with a candle. I knew this, yet it was so hard. I missed him. I felt so silly, pathetic even, yet I couldn't help it, and as the silence went on the more determined I became to do what he wanted.

Then, on the fourth day of his silence, I had a break through; I was lying on my bed, my hips elevated with a couple of pillows and my legs spread wide open. My hand was in it's usual position between my legs, four fingers firmly embedded inside my vagina with my thumb tucked up inside, I was angling my hand down towards my anus, and slowly but steadily it just went in further than ever before, there was a burning, stinging, sensation and with one final push my fist penetrated me, totally. The feeling was incredible, intense, totally overwhelming. I felt stuffed and yet my flesh seemed to envelope my hand so lovingly, yet the feelings weren't just in my vagina, my anus felt stuffed too, my clitoris stung and I truly felt as though I would pass out from the pain/pleasure I was receiving. More than that though, was the feeling of pride, I'd finally done it, N. would be so proud of me, and I couldn't wait to let him know.

After disentangling myself, and that was almost as difficult as getting it in, I sent N. a text to tell him, there was no response so eagerly I dashed off an email too, surely he would be in touch soon?

I was wrong; there was no response, none at all. I felt disappointed, devastated, hurt and incredibly used. It was so strange, I barely knew this man, had never met him, and yet I'd allowed him to control me. After a few days the hurt changed to anger. I'd find someone else, move on, sod him!

Time for a switch?

This time I wasn't going to use chat rooms, instead I would try a dating agency and sure enough I signed up and within hours had dozens of responses. I answered a few, they seemed a bit normal, but you never knew so I gave out my email address and just crossed my fingers to hope for the best.

P. and I seemed to hit it off straight away, and after talking about the usual mundane things the conversation turned to previous relationships. He had separated from his lover as she was too dominant for him, he wanted to take control a little in his next relationship, he wanted someone totally free and open, who would let him take charge, but also someone who could also take control of him.

It wasn't something I'd ever really considered before, being in charge, having a man at my beck and call, ready to do anything I tell him, and I must confess I suddenly liked that idea. Before it had always been my bottom that I wanted to have spanked, but knowing there was someone who would do that, but then would let me do it to him set all my nerve ending tingling. P. would let me tie him up, use him, do anything I wanted at all, but then afterwards I'd have to pay, I'd be in his hands and he wouldn't be gentle. I liked this idea; I liked it a lot, so we made arrangements to meet at a local pub to me at the weekend.

I took special care in my appearance to meet P. my clothes were tight, but everything was covered except brief glimpses of my cleavage. My underwear was quite plain, just black satin and lace, sexy but not too overt. On my feet were killer black shoes, again plain, but the 4 inch stiletto heel and pointed toes made my legs look longer and slimmer. I left my hair loose, and used a very light hand with my make-up, I wanted to look discrete and with a final check in the mirror I was sure I had succeeded.

Travelling in my car on the way to meet P, I couldn't help but think about N. now I was actually on my way to meeting someone else I wondered if I should have waited longer to see if he would have got in touch, but it was too late now. P. was waiting for me at the pub, and hopefully I was in for a great weekend!

He was there, exactly where he said he would be, and wow incredibly gorgeous too. Tall, well built and slightly bohemian looking I mentally clapped my hands and licked my mouth with excitement, my tummy jumped a few times and I moved forward into his arms aiming to give him a pack on the cheeks. At the last minute he twisted his head slightly so my mouth landed on his, he even tasted good!

“Hello sexy”, I murmured in his ear.

“Hi, I've got you a drink already, I hope you don't mind?” he answered back.

We sat down in the corner of the pub to have our drinks and chat a little, I was facing him across a small table and he eased my foot between his legs. The chat was quite mundane, how was the drive, the weather type conversation, but the looks we exchanged were anything but, hot and steamy and every so often his foot would rub up and down my calf.

“Shall we go back to yours?” he finally queried, and eagerly I said yes.

We returned to my home, with me driving and P. following behind in his own car and walked hand in hand to the front door, I opened the door and turned to look at him but he was already reaching out for me, as I kicked the front door shut we began to kiss, not a kiss with any finesse but just hungry mouths almost fighting each other for supremacy.

P. pushed me back against the front door and tugged down my trousers, they dropped as far as my knees before my splayed legs stopped them going any further, without pausing he pushed aside the gusset of my knickers and pushed 2 fingers deep inside my wet vagina. With his other hand he grabbed my hair at the bag of my head to push my head back further, still kissing me he began to thrust his fingers in and out like a mini penis and he rubbed his thumb along my clitoris. Almost instantly I began to cum, I loved the roughness of it, the sheer neediness and as his fingers got rougher and more insistent I just gave myself up to the feeling. Just as I felt I would explode he removed his fingers from me and lifted his head away, putting both hands on my shoulders I was pushed onto my knees in front of him, he slowly undid his belt removing it totally from his trousers and dropping it onto the floor, then undid his button and zip, he was wearing no pants underneath and I could see the head of his penis glistening with a drop of semen for me.

“Suck it”, he commanded.

Obediently I opened my mouth and took the head of his quite large cock into my mouth; he tasted a little salty with an underlying hint of soap. Eagerly I sucked him in as deep as his cock would go in my mouth, before slowly releasing it so just the head was inside. My hands reached around to pull his trousers down a little and grasp the cheeks of his bottom, I pulled him towards me so he was thrusting into my mouth, sucking and licking all the time, he began to thrust gently into my mouth until his cock was banging against that spot at the back of my throat that makes you heave, I swallowed down trying to avoid gagging and as I did thick, hot sperm flooded into my mouth, he was in so deep I couldn't swallow properly and began to gag and choke but he didn't pull back, instead he grabbed my head to hold me steady until he had finished. As I choked a globule of sperm flew out of my nose, snotty and disgusting but still he wouldn't release my head, just when I thought I couldn't take anymore he began to withdraw so I could swallow what was left inside my mouth. Small amounts were at the corners of my mouth and running down my chin which he scooped up with his finger and held out to me to lick clean.

Playtime

I was still on my knees looking up at P. his eyes were heavy and he had a small smile playing across his mouth, as I stared at him his eyes flew open and he reached down to pull me up, with a gentle push I was directed towards the stairs but before I could begin the climb to my bedroom my knickers were once again pushed to one side and his wandering hand began to roam across my bottom.

“Your arse is fucking gorgeous babe” he murmured, “I can't wait to make it red and hot for me, then I'm gonna fuck that tight hole until you scream!”

I loved what he was saying, the way he said it and wiggled my cheeks in approval, with a growl he removed his hand from my bottom and just as quickly put it back, using his other hand to separate my cheeks so he could probe my tight anus with a now moist finger. I leaned forward on the stairs to give him better access and he wasted no time in inserting a digit up my bottom. There was a very slight stinging sensation where I hadn't been properly lubed but as soon as it was fully in I forgot that and could only concentrate on the incredible feel of something lodged there.

I began to rock my hips back and forward gently, hoping to encourage him to thrust his finger in and out of my anus, but instead he just removed his finger and began to suck it, then when he had made it wet enough it was thrust back inside, this time there was no pain just the instant pleasure which increased even more when another digit was pushed in to join his first finger. My hair was grabbed and I was forced to stand up with two fingers lodged inside my bottom. With his digits firmly lodged inside my bottom I was guided up the stairs and into my bedroom, my head was pushed down onto the bed so I stood legs straight, fingers inside me but bent over at the waist. With barely a pause P. swiftly removed his fingers and replaced it with the thick head of his now hard again cock. He pushed against my anus until the head was firmly lodged inside; his fingers had already stretched me a little so although it felt full there was no pain, just that delicious feeling of having your bottom filled. I pressed back against his stiff penis helping it to slide deeply inside; P. grabbed my hips and began to thrust hard, too hard really. I wanted it slow and gentle inside my anus but I had no choice, he was fucking me and it was going to be his way… hard, fast and with little finesse.