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Hilda s two Masters part 7 of 15
Foreword: Hilda is
ambivalent in her thrown between signing and the complete consequences of it.
In my eye she is too quick to sign the document and the price for her is her
wondering.
Cecilita
Hilda:
I knew that I had no
return if I sign it, but it still felt so good. It really felt good to bind up
oneself like this. To hand over oneself (for better or worse) on speculation to
a man that was to be my Master.
It felt like throwing
oneself out from steep slope and se what’s happened, hoping for soft water or a
safety net down there.
I have always wondered
what make a parachutist throw themselves out in the air and hope for the
parachute to save them. They put their life and the hands of a thing, a
parachute. Though I never would dare to jump with a parachute I got a little of
that feeling now.
It felt so wonderful
ticklish and out of all sense completely mad, but nice inside of my
slave-girl-body.
If I sign this
deed-gift I had to really experience how it was to be a true slave-girl.
Who knows, perhaps my
longing to be a slave-girl would be cured for ever and ever.
Should I wait to
tomorrow and think it over?
No, my heart told me
to do it now.
I had never before in
my life put everything at stake, take a chance. Must I be a control-freak?
No take a chance and
watch how it develops. It was not so far away when I took those pills and
“wanted” to die. Could this be worse?
When I have sign my
name I had to go through it, pain or pleasure and his body had promised mine pleasure
already. Everything depended on how the dice falls.
A
One or Six? Or a figure between.
A
six? Or Sex?
Perhaps I should
change the term of notice to one month or a week instead?
Why did I write THREE
months?
Well, I wanted the
deed-gift to be trustworthy and something inside of me urged me to voluntarily
bind myself up, with a stress at bind.
All those feelings and
thoughts had a wrestling-match inside of my head, where common sense stood
against my heart’s feeling and my body’s insists longing for pleasure.
I was earlier a
control-freak but didn’t feel good about it. It was then, with Mats, that I
felt how relaxing it was to just obey. I let go of responsibility and
consequences of wrong decisions, just obeyed.
Before I had to be in
control of my life, to read my surroundings, think, and make prognoses of my
near future and take decisions of my own. But every time I took a decision, no
matter how small, it started the negative effects of it and turned my mind
upside – down. That made me be more careful next time and that created also an
anxiety, not only before a decision but even after and in a higher degree, with
concern, stress and the judgment day hanging over me.
Now in a time-distance
I can see that I was very close to a nervous break-down. I can also see that I
had no real reason to worry, but it is easy to say now. When I was in the
middle of it I was lost and weaken of it.
When Mats and I
started to play Master-and-slave-girl-games and he took the responsibility I
felt the weight lifted from my back and I gratefully fall back into the
calmness of no decisions.
Suddenly my world
become nice, calm and secure and I could change gear to real-time processing,
down to NOW. I had only to do as he told me in real-time and could let all the
worries of consequences fly away.
It become a wonderful
world for me and I fell back to just obey him in everything. It was so easy and
simple just to follow his lead.
Okay, it happened some
time that I did wrong in his eyes but I was punished directly, in real-time and
without of worries and fear. Maybe I got a slap or two on my bottom, maybe I
had to run and fetch him the riding whip and receive some blows on my bottom.
It hurt, but then it was over with.
In all it becomes a
nice life for me.
The games were
releasing me from worries and I longed for it, so it intertwine quickly into my
everyday life and I needed not to think ahead, he did that for me. He was
always ready to openly take the responsibility for anything that went wrong, as
long as I did as he told me.
But… there is a “but”.
As he got more an more power over me he slowly started
to reduce me to a thing, a furniture or as he said: “A sperm-receiver”, “A
sperm-sucking-automat”
But I mustn’t complain
I was happy and free from responsibilities those days. I walked around as a
living naked robot and I was happy and free from responsibilities.
I didn’t even felt
humiliated when he invited manly friends and had me in positions as furniture.
As when I was
instructed to lie naked on my back at the floor and my legs raised and bended
at the knees so he could use me as his chair, sitting at my bottom and thighs
and having the calves on my legs to rest his back. He rested his whole weight
on my body and I had to carry him as if I really was a furniture.
Or when I was naked on
my all four and had a table-leaf at my back a whole evening when he had his two
friends on visit for a poker-night. The table-leaf covered just partly of my
back and I wasn’t sure if he knew that his buddy at my rear end was touching
and playing with my private parts during the night. I had to accept having two
of his fingers inside my vagina from his card-free hand and wasn’t able to
protest as my mouth was filled by a rubber mouth-piece and I had strict orders
to not move and disturb the poker-play. My movements were also restricted by
cards and sometimes glasses on the table-leaf at my back. I admit that the
humiliation and the vulnerability excited me.
Though I had knee-pads my knees hurt.
Mats
was excited by showing me
in my obedience for his friend, but he didn’t go further than that. I know that
he wanted to get them envy him and they did, though it didn’t raised my value
as a naked and obedient thing.
//
Now I stood again at
this simple and uncomplicated obedience and now as a real slave-girl, a
24/7-slave.
Master Micke put the paper in front of me and asked:
- Do you really mean
this?
Jag felt my
masochistically vein ticklish and defiant and answered urge of it.
- Yes Master and I can
add more so you really understand that you own me.
To show him all that
stream up inside of me and in completely temporary mental derangement and also
to let my heart torment my own senses I took the pen and added on the backside
of the papers.
****************************************
Hilda shall always
quickly and with eagerness and feeling execute every order.
Hilda may never
hesitate to execute an order.
Hilda must always give
100 % of her ability.
Hilda must always be
honest, faithful and loyal to her Master.
If her Master wanted
her to show herself for his friends she must comply in every way.
****************************************
De last sentences were
not my best handwriting.
That sentence about
his friend I didn’t know why I wrote, but I guess that it was my experience
with Mats that shine through.
I thought about to
continue my submission-flow, but decided it was enough.
If he wanted I would
gladly copy it to the front-page. On the backside it was a suggestion, but a
serious suggestion.
It was as if I wanted
to torment myself by this adding, but why a treatment, perhaps the opposite. At
the same time woke the feeling of it as a torment a small fear inside of me,
but I fought it.
I understood that it
wouldn’t be a dance on roses to be a slave-girl and to be own by a Master. Own
as a thing. Hmmmm nice!
- Do you believe me
Master?
I asked and looked him
in the eyes.
- Yes, I believe you,
but you must know what you have a head of you.
He put his arm into
his short and blue dressing gown in silk. It was probably bought in
- Yes, I think I know
that and I trust my heart.
I answered in a
cocksure tone.
- You may wait until
tomorrow if you want to. I can be a very demanding Master and allow no
deviations from my orders and rules. You will be here only for my pleasure and
enjoyment.
This I had lived in
with Mats so I was familiar with that thought and had accepted it before. Also
my heart told me that he was a much more caring Master than Mats.
Somewhere in my heart
I felt that this new Master could not be more demanding than Mats, but perhaps
in another direction.
- When you say so it
tickles in my whole body. I want to sign it now, so I have no return.
I said with a feeling
of being brave and a little self-tormenting.
- Wait!
- Yes Master!
- I want first that
you are absolutely sure what you are doing. You must know that I perhaps borrow
you to another man.
- When you say that it
tickles more in my whole body. My I sign it now?
Suddenly I felt that
it was not entirely truth that my thought was ticklish by the thought of
another man, but now it was said and hopefully said as a challenge. Thank God
that he hadn’t said another woman.
- One more thing. Do
you want a safety-word, a stop-word for your security?
I thought about it
quickly. Anna had told me that she didn’t want any stop-word because she wanted
to give herself she wanted to give away her self completely as the total an
ultimate slave-girl.
All the other girls
had stop-words, but I wanted to be like Anna, the perfect slave-girl.
- No, I trust you and
I want to trust you. May I sign it now?
He looked at me and
gave up a deep sigh and nodded, as a parent that in love gave up for a child’s
nagging.
Before I could change
my mind I quickly took the paper and sign my name.
He turned the paper
over to himself and sign at the place for the receiver of the gift, a female
body, to do with what I wanted.
I shivered, perhaps I
was that I was naked and it was not to warm in the room. But I could also be
that my brain was waking up from this peculiar inebriation.
During the time he
wrote his name I quickly rose and put myself in the order-position and waited
for order of what to do. It felt so rapturously delight, so many butterflies in
my stomach and so very nice.
-FOUR!
I remember the
command-word from Anna’s diary and assumed that he meant that.
I throw myself down to
the floor, with my bottom in his direction and separated my legs for him. I
felt that I wasn’t a bit shy. He owned me now. Own as he own any of his
furniture and he had also the right to see me in any position ha wanted. In the
same way as he enjoyed a fancy goods, that he own. As a slave-girl I wasn’t
allowed to be shy, it he didn’t order me to be.
- Good! I have also
read her diary. Do you know all the command-words?
- Yes Master, I think
so. Most of them and if I fail you have to train me your way.
I said and smiled for
myself but I felt vibrations in my private parts.
- BACK!
I throw myself around
on the floor to my back at the same time as I separated my legs and pulled my
knees up to my arm-pits, my hands under my neck.
I lay naked and
exposed on the floor before him as a wench. He looked down at his property and
it felt good as long as he liked what he saw.
A very outstanding and
clear feeling was that he now has the right to watch me and there was nothing I
could do about it, more than obey him and let him watch. It was a funny feeling
that it was his body now.
I thought in a
wonderful resigned establishment.
- SUCK!
I waited for that
command word as I had seen his pride ness peeping from underneath his dressing gown (smoking-jacket) when he
moved. I turned around on the floor and throw myself forwards, fumble at the
opening in his dressing gown and capture his erection and bended it forwards.
My moth was open the
all time and I put my head close so his cock came into my mouth.
I started immediately
to stimulate him with my lips and tongue and moved my head forwards and back. I
concentrated on that my tongue had contact with its underside during my in –
out movements. But felt the
acid taste that remained me that it had been inside my vagina.
I was happy that he
liked my mouth and its skills and possibilities. Perhaps he would be a good
Master and teach me more of what he expected from my mouth, now when every
movement is up to him to decide.
I love to use my mouth
so he is welcome. If he trains me in his ways it is much stronger to submit to
his will.
- TONGUE!
Whow! I thought surprised but I obeyed quickly to
not be corrected. A slave-girl must not have any point of view of what her
Master demanded from her, I rebuke myself.
I rose from my knees
and run behind him. When I was kneeling again I lifted his dressing gown at the
back and uncovered his behind. He had nice and firm bottom-muscles, as on a
Greek statue. Very nice.
I took a firm grip
with my fingers between then and forced them apart and close my face with my
tongue outstretched.
In many ways this
action from a girl is the ultimate humiliation, to kneel behind a person and
stimulate his anus with her tongue, but I didn’t permit that feeling. I was his
slave-girl and…
I saw his little anus
as a small dark hole. It didn’t smell, as I had supposed it to. I know that
this command-word also is presumed to be executing quickly.
Anna had one evening
told us that she had received a birching for not execute it fast enough, but I
hope he had a little forbearance with me, the first time.
This was not my cop of
tea but I promised myself that I was going to do it much quicker next time. I
put my sharpen tongue forwards and touch the thing. He twitched his whole body
at the contact. I sharpen my tongue further and pressed it inwards. My cheeks
were pressed to his bottom-cheeks and they felt warm and nice, even if a hair
tickled my chin.
Mats had had me
perform this many times and he had not accepted a so slow performance that I
showed now.
Comprehension for a
humiliating action was not his strong side; I had to do whatever he told me,
that’s all.
I wasn’t his
slave-girl any longer; I was an obedient slave-girl and a property of my new
Master.
My new Master
interrupts me with another commando.
- SUCK!
I rose quickly and run
around him, down on my knees again and took his hard member as soon I was in the
same level, but before my both knees hit the floor.
I was amazed at how
often my new Master could be erected and hope for that it wasn’t now in the
beginning. I felt deep in my slave-girl-soul that I wanted as often as
him. A slave-girl must be at her alert
any time he want it, no matter if she wants or not.
In the field of how
often, I thought of how Anna’s Master woke her up in the night, and I had my
own experience of that with Mats.
I had not got any
instruction yet how he wanted me to treat his tool so I had to solve it after
my own head.
I felt that I inside
had some will lest and hoped that he would erase that so I become his mindless
and automatically obedient woman-body. But then again…
It stood obliquely up
so I lower myself and sat with my bottom on my heels. That way I could reach
the underside of his cock. There I cling like a leech and surrounded my lips at
the underside of its head and with my tongue at the string.
My tongue was to move
slowly, searching and examining soft. I hold around it with my lips and pushed
back his foreskin all the way. It was a proud cock that I had so close to my
face.
There at the underside
I let the tip of my tongue tickle and taste. Still there was the acid taste
from myself.
//
Mats had trained me on
always clean him with my mouth when he had visited my vagina. The first times
it was horrible when I tasted my own acid mucus but he had trained away that.
Now it was nothing more that the pleasant feel from the submissiveness and
humiliation. I had only to do as I was ordered and that was an
permanent rule that didn’t need to be steered in detail.
After he left my
vagina it was only for me to go down and clean him, that’s all.
//
Now it was the first
time I perform this without of a imperative order, but
it was some time since he was in my vagina and he had ordered “SUCK!” now.
I let my right hand
capture his scrotum to detect when his meat-balls was disappearing. Mats had taught me that I could get a
pre-signal when it was time for him to release himself. One of Mats’s stone was pulled upwards as he got excited and just
before he was going to cum.
Carefully I hold my
hand around it and with fingers light as feathers I searched for the signal.
This was also a way to
get a feed-back and know when I did it very joyful for my Master. I could also
detect when I loose his concentration and felt the stone return.
Mats’s stones had been very co-operative and had left
me distinctive signal of how to act and when.
I was learning all the
time.
Now I assume that all
men and my new Master should react in the same way and so far I hadn’t noticed
any big difference. But I instinctively knew that there are differences.
His right testicle
went up from time to time and it returned when I change my stimulants and had
it to immediately react again. His whole scrotum was bigger and more firm, if
one may say so.
Now I felt the my new
Master wanted to release himself so I let the over side of my tongue wet and
warm press to the underside of his tool in the same time as I started to move
it faster and also my lips surround the whole bottom part of its head (glans)
so that its opening was inside my lips. It was in this way I could catch the
jet of sperm when the came.
One testicle had just
gone upwards and he groaned.
The first jet hit the
roof of my mouth, just inside of my teeth.
He groaned loudly
something unintelligible, almost if it hurt and that I hope it didn’t.
I tried to tickle with
my tongue at his little opening, where the sperm came from, but that wasn’t a
spark kick, I felt directly that his testicle reacted.
In a fraction of a
second, as a real slave-girl, I let my tongue take it first position and was
rewarded by one stronger dose from his store.
After that I kept
tickle up more and at the end it was only drops that left his body. He had been
given me four real jets and then only two small added to that little which came
at the end.
I cursed myself for my
experiment to use my tongue at his opening. He didn’t like that and I think I
disturbed him in his process, but perhaps prolonged it.
I will never repeat
that mistake in that last phase.
In my try to be a true
and real slave-girl for him I added that experience to my memory. I wanted of
all my heart for him to think that I was the most pleasurable girl he had have.
As his slave-girl it
was my task to make it as enjoyable as possible for my Master, but also to seek
new ways to please him and to be sensitive for his every reactions.
His cock had shrank but had still its place inside of my warm mouth until
I got another order. My tongue slides in controlling strokes over its head to
detect if it wanted to swell again and give me its interest again.
I had asked him before
if I may move my mouth so he must understand that I was trained to wait for an
order.
If he wanted to
re-train me it was up to him. I was only a slave-girl and I loved it.
I use the time for
cleaning with my tongue and lips with a woman’s mania for cleaning. We very
seldom forget the small details.
- Let it out!
That was the order he
wanted to use and I put it to my memory. OK! I obeyed him immediately,
naturally. He shut his dressing gown in the front a shut the yummy-shop.
I knew since before
the time with Mats that a man mostly loses his interest for sex after his
release. With Mats that was very obviously and he didn’t try to hide it either.
We discussed it once for me to learn and understand it.
He could as soon as I
had cleaned him just shut of his sex lust and directly go back to reality, as
if the nice sex moment never had existed.
The first times I went
silent, sad and cry. He saw my tears and asked with a sigh:
- What is it now then?
I told him and he
explained that his interest inside of his brain just shut of. He was my Master
so I had to adjust.
He told me that he loved
me and was just recharging for next time, he added wisely
Yes I was a slave-girl
and I wanted to learn and adapt to him, but I wanted also to know that he
didn’t stop loving me and lust for me.
Now when I saw the
same in my new Master I had it all confirmed. Now I had adjust my thinking to
this shut-down and understood that it was linked to resting an recharging and
wasn’t any criticism to me an my
acting.
Will
be continued.
Cecilita
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