Zippers

PART 5

 

 

‘I do so cherish these special moments’, she had said

 

I heard the sound of stretching, snapping rubber and the squirt of jelly forced from a nozzle.

 

 

‘There’s a certain intimacy that comes from the realisation that you are now, for the rest of your life, completely under the control of your new Goddess. Don’t you think? I am going to impress upon you that your mind and body are mine to do with as I please. You will want to be desperately, desperately eager to make sure that I am happy with you. I can make you behave as I wish, without any scope for you to resist. I could order you to take your life and, believe me; you would not hesitate to do it’

 

 

She came very close and whispered into my ear,

 

‘Also, I could kill you with a word. You would die, where you stood, over a time course of my choosing. Very, very painfully. Believe me……..Perhaps the phone will ring one day when I have no further use for you. Very, very clean. No loose ends. Natural causes would be irrefutable as the cause of death’

 

I could feel my heart slowing down, my vision went black; I couldn’t stay up. She slapped my face, hard. I snapped back round. As I remembered the horror of what she was saying she continued,

 

‘Things may well end that way one day but I am not ready to end you just yet, little one. I have other plans in mind. I do not want you passing out like that again though. Apart from anything else it’s a very inconsiderate way to reward your Goddess for her time and attention. Let’s try and keep you in the here and now a little more shall we’

 

 

She moved around to my side towards my bottom. I felt something cold at my sex then the brutal intrusion of something. It was her fingers.

 

 

‘No!’ I sobbed in protest.

 

 

‘This should keep you mindful of who’s in charge and who’s fucking who here’, she said working her fingers in over the third knuckles. The penetration was horrible. I had only ever had sex with one man and only then a handful of times. I did not enjoy it; it had been a painful, upsetting experience; not how I imagined it could be with the right man; maybe my perfect, handsome suitor from the yacht. I was jerked immediately from that thought.

 

 

The rubber fingers inside me brought a horrible memory from my adolescence flooding back; lying on my back in the dark, tears in my eyes, trying not to sob so he would know how upset I was. I had been trying not to cry out with the pain from his inexperienced, brutal thrusts. I then felt the hand slip in further the feeling was revolting, I wanted to reach down and pull it out but my hands were stuck supporting me and quite useless. I couldn’t stand it and longer.

 

‘Please, Please, Please Mistress!’ I sobbed miserably, ’I will do anything you want, just please stop’

 

 

I was broken. I had given up. She had won. I could take no more. I would do her bidding, whatever it was she wanted from me.

 

 

‘I can already make you do anything that I want, you stupid bitch, I have total control over your mind and body so to offer me that is to offer me nothing. Do not insult my intelligence again………..’

 

She gripped me deep inside to make this point. I felt a deep unsettling pain as she squeezed my womb.

 

 

‘You do still have something left that you can offer me though.’

 

 

‘What is it?’ I begged to know, surely it could be hers for the taking. If not I would freely give it to her if she would just release me from her grip and let me go home.

 

‘Lets not make any rash choices now Anita. I want you to fully understand the options on the table before you sign your life away. ‘

 

 

Her hand was fully worked into me now.  It was deeply painful. When it moved there were new waves of spasm and pain, she was twisting her hand one way then the other to keep it constant; squashing my cervix between thumb and forefinger as she reamed her long gloved arm around inside me. It was a shocking, reviling sensation. If I had had any control at all I would have leapt up and ran as fast as I could in any direction.

 

‘I can’t take it any more Mistress, please, I’m begging you, please take your hand out of me’, I wept, begging for the abuse to end.

 

 

‘The first choice’, she continued oblivious to my protests,’ and the one I really don’t recommend, is this. I have a very comfortable wheelchair just behind that door. I’m afraid you’re going to have an accident falling down the stairs at your flat. It’ll be clear that you must have broken your neck because you won’t be able to move any of your body at all. Ever again.’

 

I didn’t think it was possible to be more frightened than I already was at that time but this brought me to a new height of terror. This was my deepest, my most terrible fear, she had cut straight into me with the worst thing I could have imagined at that time. She must have found that out from me during one of the sessions. Oh how I had betrayed myself! My mouth had gone dry and I had struggled to speak.

 

 

‘It gets better,’ she silenced me,’ they’ll scan your neck but everything will look absolutely normal; there will be no evidence of any structural problem. Obviously I won’t let you tell anyone what really happened, so they’ll draw their own conclusions. You’ll spend the rest of your life being looked after by people who think you are at best mad or at worst a liar and a fraud. It won’t engender much sympathy I can tell you. In fact I’ve already picked out a care home for you. I’m afraid it has had some bad press recently with some of the inmates being sexually abused and an otherwise appalling record on neglect and the preservation of dignity; but it’s cheap and for this reason, surprisingly popular. I think I can swing a place there though. I want you to remember how this feels every time you are fucked there’

 

My head was swimming again. My eyes lost focus then the hand inside me tensed, formed into a fist and punched upwards with the force of a powerful boxer’s jab. I screamed in agony. It was the release I needed, I had screamed in terror, absolute terror at what she had said. I had screamed at my total abject helplessness; and I had screamed at how the woman I had so respected, so looked up to and revered, had become the most evil, dreadful tormentor conceivable. I hated her like I’d never hated before but more than that I was terrified of her. I screamed in my absolute terror and in that moment was briefly transported away from the reality for the tiniest respite. Her voice then brought me back to my possible future.

 

 

‘How does that strike you Anita? I hear they generally just leave the residents in their rooms all day as it’s very little bother to do that. There used to be televisions but they tended to get stolen so generally the inmates are left alone in their rooms with their thoughts in a peaceful silence; sounds lovely doesn’t it. Of course the newer residents tend to get the poorer rooms. Most of the rooms don’t have windows and they are under pressure to stay competitive and keep costs down so they tend to turn the lights off too. You’ll have plenty of time to think about whether you made the right choice here today. Plenty of time to mull it over, I can tell you.’

 

 

As I whimpered, she gently stroked the side of my face with her other hand.

 

 

She paused for a while letting the gravity of her words sink in further.

 

 

‘Of course there is another alternative………………….It will demand hard work from you though.’

 

‘Please, I will do it’, I begged, like I was begging for my life.

 

 

‘And if at any stage I feel that you are not playing by the rules, there will always be the care home waiting. Do you want to know what the alternative is or have you already decided to go with the first option. I know it’s pretty tempting?’

 

‘Please, what is it Mistress?’

 

‘The other option is for you to give me something that I really want. I am going to change you significantly over the next few weeks. You will, of course, obey me completely in it but I want that little something extra from you.’

 

‘Please Mistress; I will give it to you’

 

 

‘I want your devotion to it. I want you to apply yourself to it. In short, I want your very soul’

 

 

I gulped. The day had been so unbelievable that thoughts of vampires and the devil filled my mind as she had suggested this. She wanted the heart of my being and that thing that was most precious. For many people it would have been a difficult choice.

 

 

‘It is yours Mistress, I am yours fully. I will apply myself to whatever you give me’, I had answered without hesitation. The alternative was just too terrible to contemplate.

 

 

‘Excellent.’, she had warmed, ‘It will be unpleasant but don’t worry I will be able to help you along the way. I want you to remember today, remember the feeling of the penetration of your mind, body and soul. Every time you are fucked I want you to feel like you are now, as you are being fucked by me. It is enough for you to know that you are going to be changed according to my specifications over the next few weeks. I want you to remember how this moment feels as you apply yourself to my will.’

 

She rammed her fist in hard again and wrenched it round. I felt like my very core was being ripped. I yelled out again in pure physical pain.

 

Then she took her fist out.

 

 

‘We will talk about this some more later, that’s enough for now. Clothes back on’, she said

 

 

She sat down at her desk and took off the rubber glove.

 

I got down off the table and, sobbing still, hurriedly scrabbled together my clothes and put them on. My makeup must have been streaming down my face as I stood shabbily dressed in front of her.

 

 

She pressed the intercom button.

 

‘Jenny, could you send in Miss Sanders please’

 

‘Go into my bathroom and fix your face, my obedient little slave’

 

I scurried into the private bathroom discretely concealed behind a panel in the wall. I sniffed and sobbed as I washed my face and started to put my makeup back on.

 

‘I haven’t got all day though girl’

 

‘Yes, Mistress’, I said, I was doing it as quickly as I could.

 

When I had disguised the tears and the redness around my eyes and made my hair look acceptable I adjusted my clothes and walked back out. I was surprised to see Trisha stood there smiling with Vivienne.

 

 

‘Hello Anita’, she had said, ‘I’m going to look after you tonight to make sure that you are all right for tomorrow. You have a very big day ahead. Come along’

 

She turned as if to walk and clicked her fingers at her show. My body lunged forward as I moved to heel, standing just behind her to the side, matching her movements.

 

‘Say goodbye Anita’, Trisha said.

 

‘Goodbye Mistress’

 

Vivienne was now sat back at her desk touching up her make-up with a mirror. She didn’t look up.

 

‘I look forward to seeing the results. Now behave yourself and remember what we have talked about as you recover tomorrow.’

 

Trisha started to walk out and I followed like a good puppy.

 

She opened the door for me and I walked back out into the reception.

 

 

‘Hi Anita!’

 

I spun to the sofa and couldn’t believe it. There was Melanie from the office beaming at me.

 

‘I thought I’d take your advice and come and get some help with the smoking’, she blurted out, and ‘I’ve got my first appointment now!’

 

‘Oh,’ I had said. God! I wanted to warn her. I wanted to scream at her to flee while she still could.

 

’That’s fantastic’, I lied, smoothing the pathway into the trap.

 

‘Dr. Black’s ready for you now dear’, Trisha said extending her arm towards the luxurious office. Melanie excitedly got up and clicked her way into the office giving me a little wave.

 

‘Hear you’re on holiday Anita, talk to you soon’

 

She was looking around at Vivienne’s room like a child in a sweet shop.

 

Trisha closed and sealed the door and then smiled at me. My heart ached for poor Melanie as I felt a wave of hatred and bile rise within me. I was completely impotent. Trisha turned and I followed. We walked outside and found her car.

 

She took me back to her house. I was so exhausted from my ordeal that I remember very little about it. I had started to feel sleepy. I remember that she did not say much but had made me eat, drink and shower. She had then put me to bed in a guest bedroom. She had calmed me with a soothing touch. She stayed sitting at my bedside for some time, stroking my head while I let out the occasional whimper. Gradually the terrible images faded from my mind.

 

‘Sleep now’, she hushed,’ save your strength for tomorrow’

 

I went out like a snuffed candle.