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Amber met me at the
park. We had left our High School separately so we could not be sighted. I rode
my skateboard at the path toward the park. It was a shame that we had to keep
it so secretly.
Amber waited for me. She
was 15 like me.
“Darling. I was afraid that your mother had picked you
up.”
“No. I told her that I
had to study extra for a project.”
I kissed her.
“Lets
go down to the creek, so we can have some undisturbed time.”
The creek or rather
the wood at it was our hideout. When we were there the world seem
insignificant. We were us and nothing else mattered.
Once arrived, we
started to kiss and before long we were also naked. We rolled around in the
high grass and kissed.
“I want you.”
My member was stiff.
We had been together for two months but had never gone all the way. I placed my
self on the top of her and entered her slowly. She smelled nice and we kissed.
Not so long after I came inside her.
When I pulled out, my
member was spattered with blood. First I was scared but Amber assured me that
it was OK. “You were my first.” We kissed once more.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
We both jumped to our
feet. It was our moms.
“Get dressed at once.
You both have something to explain.”
Later the evening we
ate dinner at our place.
My mother broke the
silence. “I have discussed the matter with Amber’s mother. We cannot keep you
locked up and away from each other, so we have decided that we all learn to
know each other. We have spoken with the school and tomorrow we are going on a
small trip to the see where we have rented a cabin. So pack your bags, once you
are finished eating. We are going first thing in the morning.”
First I was stunned.
Was it my mother, who was speaking? I embraced Amber and we kissed. “Thank you mother!!” Amber kissed her mom.
The next day we left
our hometown Flint and turned south on Highway 75. Our mothers sat in the front
seat and we in the back. They did not talk very much. Hopefully we would soften
up when we arrived.
We studied the brochures
and the cabin they had rented. It had spa bath, large porch etc. It would be a
holiday to remember.
It took a while to get
through Lexington. We ate lunch at a gas station before we arrived late night
at a small town called Rockford shortly after Knoxville. We turned into a small
road and ended up in front of a large white building. It was a hospital. “Ups. We must have chosen the wrong road. Lets
go inside and ask for directions.”
We entered the lobby,
where a large woman greeted us. “Welcome to Foreland Hamlet. How can I be of
service?”
“It is the Petersen
and Schmidt family. We are expected.”
“Follow me. I am nurse
Peitsche.”
We were looking at
each other. Something was wrong here. Why were we expected?
We sat in her office
and Mom gave her some papers. Amber’s mother did the same. Then they both
signed something before the nurse stood up.
“Amber
and Peter. You are coming
with me. Your parents will stay here.”
We followed her out
the door where 8 other staff-members waited. Once the door was locked into the
office, the nurse spoke again.
“Welcome to Foreland Hamlet.
This is a hospital for adolescents and you have been committed here for couple
therapy by your parents. Before you can get together as a couple, you have to
understand yourself, so say goodbye to each other. When you have done this,
listen very carefully to the rules of the Protected Admission Unit – our intake
department – you are entering now. Raise your hand before asking question. One
finger in the air means personal business like relieve your self. Two fingers means treatment issues. Else there is only one rule: No
talking outside group therapy.”
“But.”
“Peter. No.”
Amber ran for the
door, but at once 4 four them were on the top of her. I tried to rescue her but
the rest of the staff grabbed me and carried me away from Amber.
“Stop! This can not be right.”
“Shut up or we will
restrain you for sure.”
They stopped in a
large bathroom where they dropped me on the floor. “Strip!!”
“No
way!”
One of them took a
hose.
“Do you want to take a
bath with your clothes on?”
I undressed.
“Bend over and spread
your legs.”
“But..”
“Do no provoke us. It
is late and you should be to bed right now.”
I bend over and felt a
hand in a latex glove investigate my rectum.
“You have to receive
an enema. Something is in there and we do not like contrabands in PTU.”
Something began to
press against my sphincter.
“Stop it hurt.”
“You are a either squeezer or a whiner, but I will give you the
benefit of doubt. Hand me some lubrication for the butt plug.”
It slipped inside me.
A shock went through my body.
“Never been checked
for enlargement of the prostate? Do you care about your health at all?”
It seemed to grow in
size. I noticed that it had a kind of pump. Then he connected it to a small
tube and I felt some liquid enter my bowels.
“Nothing
like a good old coffee enema to remove all feces.”
My stomach began to
feel filled out but they just moved closer after having taken rubber aprons and
gloves on. It began to hurt and I tried to stand up, but they moved in and held
my head down on the floor.
“Stop. I am going to explode.”
They shoveled a gag
ball in my mouth.
“Bite down on it. We
have to make sure that you are not taking any illegal things into the unit.”
At last the fluid
stopped. For a moment I was relieved but they continued to restrain me instead
of helping me to the toilet.
“You have to keep it
inside you for 15 minutes. Else it does not work properly.”
After a short time, I
started to sweat. Then I experienced stomach cramps. I tried to scream but the
gag restricted my outcries. When the 15 minutes were up I was reduced to a
shivering wreck. They carried me to the toilet and deflated the plug.
When it came out, my
bowels were moved. They helped me up and cleaned me with a showerhead.
“You seem exhausted.
You need to sleep.”
I was given a hospital
gown and then they guided me into a cubicle where there were other beds with
patients.
Before I sat down they
offered me some pills to calm down on. “Just relax. It is only Truxal. Here are
a couple of them. Then you are fast asleep.”
He gave me a cup of
water and I took the pills. I had so many questions, but something have me a hint about not trying to discuss anything with
these guys yet.
When I was in bed, my
head raced with worries about Amber. What had they done to her? Why did our
moms do this against us?
Suddenly the world
seemed to spin and I blacked out.
My name is Peter. I
was born in Boston, but my parent divorced when I was 11. It was not a happy
divorce and I have not heard from my father for years. We moved to Flint in
Michigan where I attended Amstrong Middle School before graduating and moving
to Flint Central High School.
I had been at the
school for a year or so, when I first met Amber.
I remember it as
yesterday. I was riding my bicycle to school when I had a puncture. I was
struggling with the damn wheel, when I heard the nicest voice; I ever have
experienced speaking to me.
She offered me to help
me. The wheel continued to make trouble and we ended up using a whole hour
before we got it right.
First my mom was
surprised that I had met a girlfriend. Then she became worrying. “Are you not a
little too young to engage in a relationship? Just remember how it went between
your father and me.”
But I continued to see
Amber. Our moms even met and for a while it went well. Then we forgot the time
and came home about 10 p.m. one evening. Our moms had been on the phone with
each other and they had agreed that we both had to be grounded for a month and
not seeing each other outside school for another.
It was hard and
unfair. At school our teachers must have received some notice
from our parents because we were informed that we were not allowed go
behind the gym and hang out in private.
So we started to see
each other after school on our way home. We always took different routes in
order to fool our parents.
It had worked until
now.
The first day started with
me ending up in their isolation room within 5 minutes after I woke. I got out
of bed, but the minute I sat my feet on the floor the staff ordered me to sit
down again and wait for my group. I did not understand what the big deal was,
so they blew a horn and at once 5-6 staff members came in and took me to the
floor before carrying me into an empty cubicle.
I sat there for some
hours before I got back to the group and I had to apologize for me being
restrained.
Then I got to the
toilet and had to pick pills to eat while I was there. Because I was worried
about Amber, they felt that I was somehow depressed, so I had to eat
anti-depressive meds. The look in their eyes told me that I hadn’t any choice.
I took the great white pills called Remeron because they claimed that they had
no known side effects. Actually the choice of medication was someway up to me
because as they said: “We have pills in all colors”.
I was too confused to
actually get what the talked about in the group. After group therapy we went
back to our beds and sat in them while we waited for dinner. I looked at my
group members. They just looked into the room with empty looks in their eyes.
I decided to lie down
and get some sleep.
Immediately a staff
member came over to me and gave me a push. “You are not allowed to sleep during
the day”.
“Fuck you.”
I knew it was an error
the minute I said it. He blew the horn and staff-members came over and seized
me. They took me back to the timeout room. I tried to hit them but there was
too many of them. Then they produced a strait
jacket out of nowhere and before I could pronounce the word “restraint” my
arms were in the sleeves. There was a strap going between the leg and they
pulled it very tight which was very painful.
“We are going to pull
it more if you do not calm down.”
I gave up my
resistance. I would not risk them crushing my member.
“Now sit down on the
floor and do not move or else we will pull the strap even more.”
I sat down. A staff sat
at a desk and watched me.
Hours went by.
Next a nurse came with
food. “How do you do? My name is nurse Rohrstock. I am
going to feed you.”
“When do I get this
thing of?”
“When we decide that
it is appropriate with your treatment.”
She feed me. The food
was some kind of south mix. It was not something my stomach was used to.
Half an hour later I
had to go to the toilet. With a smile the staff member guided me into the
bathroom where I received the same kind of enema, I received when I arrived.
“You are going to have
a diaper on for now. Your girl friend gives the staff members quite a match, so
we are too busy to escort you to the toilet all time.”
They marched me back
to the timeout room, where I was placed on the ground. My arms felt numb and I could
not scratch my leg. I was almost too much to bear. After a while they followed
me back to my bed – still in the jacket. I was placed sitting with my back
against the wall.
It was warm and I
started to sweat. When it started to itch on my back, I tried to scratch it by
rubbing my body against the wall. It did not go by on unnoticed. “We are not
going to let you hurt yourself by banging your head against the wall. Stop it.”
“But I was only trying
to scratch my body.”
“It is regarding
hurting yourself. We will not allow it.”
“But..”
“Now there is no
reason to see your stay here as so bad. You are here to get your mental health
fixed. We are going to protect you.”
He went over to a
drawer and came with a helmet
made of rubber foam. Now I was really looking as a patient from cuckoos nest. I
started to sob. It was so degrading.
Evening came and nurse
Rohrstock fed me once more.
At last it was to
sleep. A staff member followed me to the bathroom, where I received yet another
enema before being freed from the strait jacket.
Once again the only
clothes I had on was the hospital gown. Due to the
number of enemas, I got a new diaper. When I came back to my bed I saw that
they had fitted my bed with a kind of net. I looked at nurse Rohrstock, who
answered the question, which was so obvious that I did not have to say it.
“It is a restraint net.
Please lie down on your back quietly or we will force you.”
I had learned my
lesson.
Once I was in bed,
they put both my feet in leather cuffs. Then they asked me to raise my arms, so
they could get them through two holes in the blanket. The blanket was strapped
down with 5 straps on each side and a strap between my legs. The last thing
they did was to fasten both my arms with straps on my upper- and lower-arm.
I could not move.
“Sleep nice and
comfy.”
The next two days were
the same. I was helped out of the bed. Received an enema.
Next I was put into the straitjacket and helmet. Sat I my bed all day only with
breaks when there was group therapy and meals where nurse Rohrstock fed me.
There were three kinds
of therapy sessions: Community groups, Confrontation groups and Feelings
groups.
I was heavily
criticized for my behavior. It bothered the other patients that I had caused so
many disturbances in the unit.
All I could say was
that I was locked up there without any reason, which caused them to blame me
for not taking responsibility for my situation.
I could not win, so I
denied answering them once they asked me questions.
Slowly the medication
began to work. It was like I was in a glass case. I still felt betrayed by my
mother but I could not express my feelings. It was confusing.
Slowly I became a
player in the game. I gave them something. I was a liar. I lied about meeting
Amber. I was not thinking about the future when I had sex with her without
protection.
On the third day I was
escorted back to the office of nurse Peitsche, but instead of the nurse a man
sat and waited for me.
“Happy
to meat you. My name is
Hans Torheit. I am your family representative. Now I am going to call your
mother and they we are going to have a talk.”
My mother came on the
phone and after some greetings between Mr. Torheit and my mother we began to
talk.
“For how long am I
going to be in this hell-hole?”
“For as long as it
take. Your mother and the doctors had agreed that the part of the brain, which
should ensure thinking of long-term consequences, lacks some emotional
development.”
“I am not
brain-damaged!”
“Of course you are
not, but you need to address these shortcomings or you will fail very severely
in your adult life. Sometime actions have consequences that could last for
decades. What if you had made Amber pregnant?”
“I love Amber.”
“But you are in no
means ready to become a father. We are talking about a 20 year commitment.”
“Mother. Please let me loose. I am treated badly. They
have put me in a strait jacket.”
“I know. I pay extra
for your restraints. But you have scared me. You were throwing your life away.
I will not release you and risk that you destroy your life.”
I started to sob. I
was in prison without every committing a crime and I could not appeal to any
court or parole board.
I sort of missed the
rest of the talk between my mother and Mr. Torheit.
Weeks went by. I got
out of the strait jacket a week after I first were put into it.
It took some more
weeks to loose the bed restraints by night.
By one of the phone
therapist sessions, I asked how Amber was doing and was told that I should not
care for her yet. When I continued to ask to her well being the session was
terminated and the staff put me in the strait jacket once more, but only for a
day.
Days went by looking
the same every day. Only when new patient were committed we could observe how
they were restrained like me and how they also got fitted in restraint jackets
like the one I had been in.
Then one day they
escorted me over to the office. Once inside my mother waited together with
Amber’s mother. Soon after Amber arrived in a strait jacket.
I was curious.
“Are we going to get
pulled?”
Amber’s mother took
the word.
“No, you are not. But
we are here to inform you that Amber’s father have
died in a car accident. Unfortunately his family has requested that you attend
the funeral or they will cut back on the deal, Amber and me
got when I divorced her father.”
Amber sat down and
cried.
“So here are the deal: You are both going to attend the funeral and
then return here. The family has got information about Peter in one of the
letters Amber has written to her Grandfather without my knowledge, so they want
to see you too.”
“However, I still have
custody and I have pointed out that I will insist on you doing the entire
program regardless what they say. They have accepted if they get letter
privileges and get to see you and Peter to the funeral. They did that
reluctant, but realized that they can not fight my custody agreement.”
My mother took the
word. “Now get dressed. We are going to drive when you are ready. We have been
informed about your increase in weight so it is new.”
My mother was right. I
had put on some weight - 11 pounds to be exact. When I returned to the office,
we waited some minutes before Amber appeared. She was surprised “My god. I have
put on 8 pound in just 5 weeks.”
Mr. Torheit
interrupted. “It is the medication. Just a last thing before
you are going. In order to prevent you from running, you are going to
have these transport
jackets on. Your arms are not going to be restrained like in the normal
jacket. It is just 3 straps on your back and another one between your legs.
They will of course only be used during transport. At the funeral you will act
as nothing.”
We were put in the
jackets and then guided out in the parking lot, where our mothers had rented a
mini-van with shaded windows. Once we were helped into the rear seats they put
a leather cuff on the foot nearest the door. There was a nylon strap hanging
from it, so when the door closed, we could not lift the foot from the floor.”
Once we left the
Rockford, we drove north on Highway 75. After 10 minutes Amber began to cry.
“It was so awful. It
was abuse.”
Her mother answered.
“Pull yourself together. You are such a drama queen.”
I cut in.
“Amber: tell me the
story. I have been there. I can understand. Maybe it helps to tell me.”
Amber told her story.
Like me she got restrained a few minutes after she entered her unit. Her story
looked so much like mine. It was the same kind of restraints. She was also
jacketed and had to endure wearing a diaper for weeks.
But most frightening
was her story about her being checked for pregnancy and venereal diseases once
a week.
“They guided me over
to a gynecologist’s chair and I was strapped
down with my private parts exposed. First they put a speculum into my vaginal -
next they inserted one in my rectum.”
I could only imaging
having two pieces of cold steel putted inside me. Awful!
“I did not know what they were
looking for. Somehow I felt that they did it because they wanted me to commit
to the program.”
Her mother
interrupted. “They were looking for an infection in your urinary tract which
had spread to your private parts. Also they were worried about that your
unbalanced diet can have caused diarrhea. Then there are your returning
problems with gastric hemorrhage. Of course they had to put you through a lot
of testing.”
The conversation
turned into a mouthing between Amber and her mother. I knew from my time with
her that she never said no to a burger. Also I understood their conversation
Amber had been on various diets from when she was 9.
When they finally had
ended their conversation and remained angry and silent, I asked my mother, if
she also was aware that I had been in a strait jacket for several days.
“Of course I do. They
have sent me a detailed statement of account every single week, so I could
discuss the individual items on the account during our weekly conversation.”
“How could you? Do you
not care for me?”
“Do not play the guilt
trip on me. I know that this is necessary. In fact you disappoint me, I had
expect that you were more in control of your self, so you could realize that it
is a good thing I have done for you. What you are doing is a standard approach
to avoid taking responsibilities about your self. Your approach is so standard
that it is written in the parent manual. I am not going to pull you and I have
custody, so you have better start to work the program, once you return to
Foreland Hamlet.”
I realized that it was
a waste of time to talk to her further and we drove the rest of the way with
only a stop at a gas station where we bought burgers at the drive-through and
ate them at picnic area near the road. Our moms fed us in the car, as we had no
use of our arms. We even managed to get to the toilet with their help. I
consider myself lucky that none saw us at the toilet because she had to take of
my trousers and wipe my behind after I had finished.
We arrived at the
churchyard where the funeral was to take place. We parked at a little distance.
Before taking us out of our transport jackets, they warned us a last time.
“Remember it is us,
who have custody. We will report you as runaways, if you do not return with us
willingly.”
It was nice to have
the use of our arms again. We joined the funeral gathering. Amber was dissolved
in tear. She had missed her father and now she would never him again. I was at
her side during entire funeral service.
When it finally was
over, we all went to a house of one of her relatives. Several of her family
members wanted to talk to Amber and her mother and they ended up in separate
rooms, by my mother remained at my side.
Then a man came to me
and presented himself as Mr. Carson – a cousin of her father. He took me to the
side and at the same time a woman approached my mother and began a conversation
with her.
“Listen
Peter. We from Amber’s
family have research Foreland Hamlet and it is an awful place. Like most of the
students in such places you are not belonging there, so we have arranged for
you to run away and lie low while we fight Amber’s mother in court. Here is an
envelope with address of your father; some money and an address where there is some clothes you can change into. Members of the family
are now in fact drugging your mothers, so you will have about 6 hours lead,
before the police are looking for you. When you see your mothers pass out, then get out of here.”
He handed me an
envelope.
I remained close to my
mother until she became tired and sat down. Moments later she slept in a sofa.
I located Amber and we made sure that her mother also was sleeping and then we
left the building.
The address in the
envelope showed to be just a couple of blocks away and we were soon dressed in
new clothes. There was also a car key with instructions to be out of the state
before we should abandon it.
Six hours later we
were fugitives.
(to be continued)
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