A New Beginning
By the White Knight
My wife and I had been having a bondage relationship throughout the first twelve
years of our marriage. This relationship had become an infrequent one for two
reasons. First, my wife was not as enthusiastic about bondage as I am and
second, our children (rightfully so) had become our lives. However, it
continued to keep our love life active as I could remember our previous
encounters and could look forward to future ones. In this way my wife had
achieved a special status in my heart, above and beyond the normal feelings of
love.
Getting to this point had taken a lot of time and effort on my part to build up
her trust in me, so that she would always know that I would never hurt her.
Trust was her anchor that allowed her to participate in bondage situations with
me. It was her rock, her home base, her safety zone... it was what gave her
freedom to be my bound lover.
After twelve years of building that trust, I threw it all away with an
ultimately stupid move.
Ann, my wife, had always refused to have her picture taken while she was bound
or in sexy lingerie. Even self-developing cameras were out of the question.
Taking pictures of her in anyway was simply beyond the limits that she was
willing to go to. For years I tried again and again to change her mind, but had
as much success as she did when trying to escape from my ropes.
Finally, I planned out a dirty low down, underhanded way to get the pictures of
her that I had always desired. Ann had agreed to be my slave for an entire
afternoon. We had packed off the kids to my mother's house and had the entire
day to ourselves. This resulted in one of the best bondage sessions that the
both of us had ever achieved. The main reason for this was that Ann really
allowed herself to play the role of my sexy slave. She was phenomenal that day
and the sex was never better. So a day that should have been the absolute
culmination of our sexual relationship, turned into my own private pearl harbor.
During our bondage play I had requested that she be blindfolded for most of the
day. In her upbeat spirit she readily agreed. Playing music in the background
for noise coverage, I proceeded to take pictures of her with my brand new
digital camera. As I said previously, the day went fantastically and she was
none the wiser about my devious photography efforts.
I thought I had committed the perfect deception. But, nothing that is a
deception can ever be perfect. Somehow, someway, it always comes to light. In
my case it was that I stupidly did not clear the document list after viewing the
pictures on my computer late one evening. Ann, who also uses our family
computer for e-mail and word documents accidentally, clicked on the "documents"
button from the windows start menu. She probably would have looked no further
and returned to what she was doing if the file names that she saw weren't so
intriguing. But, when she saw files listed as Ann01, Ann02, Ann03, etc. she had
to click on one to see what it was. She screamed so loudly and with such terror
in her voice that I thought she had been stabbed.
In fact she had been stabbed, stabbed in the back by me. Ann found herself
looking at a picture showing her bound in her sexy black mini-dress, stockings,
patent leather high heels complete with blindfold and gag.
It took her almost the entire day to clam down and even to allow me to talk to
her. The results of my deception were totally devastating to both our
relationship and specifically to her trust in me. The only way that I was able
to avert her wrath was to accede to her demands to destroy the pictures and
throw away anything related to bondage (i.e. ropes, gags, restraints, etc.) that
I owned. A few weeks after that she emptied her lingerie draws of all of the
sexy creations that I had brought her over the course of the years. Finally she
dumped all of her spiked high heels and slippers that I had had her wear during
our different bondage encounters. She even tossed out slippers and shoes that
she had bought for herself because she knew that I thought that they were sexy.
Our three wonderful children were the only link that kept us together for the
next couple of years. Ann could never forget what had happened and she was ever
quick to remind me of it. At her request, I began seeing a therapist and in all
honesty it was well worth the time. Not only did it help me understand the
serious pain that I had caused my wife, but it also helped me understand where
my roots in bondage came from. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how
you look at it, these sessions did not eliminate my desire to see women in
bondage and sexy lingerie.
They say that time heals all wounds and in our case this turned out to be true.
It took patience and the acceptance of the new rules governing our relationship,
but ever so slowly we again began to rebuild our trust. We started out with
normal love making, which was great after such a long drought, but it didn't
have the spark of the past. There was no longer the Ann trying to please me
scenario, it was now almost entirely me working to please her. This left a void
in our relationship. That missing spark couldn't be missed no matter how hard
that I tried to hide it and I know this now because of what happened only a
short while ago.
One evening Ann stepped out of our walk-in bedroom closet in slippers and
lingerie! I was totally stunned and halting asked her what was the cause of
this largess? Equally uncertain, she spoke quickly and nervously as she told me
her story.
I was shopping in the Macy's and saw the slippers. Normally I would have passed
them over without a second glance, but they caught my eye because they were the
same exact slippers that you had had me wear in the past. You know when you
wanted me to tie me up on the bed in sexy lingerie.
She arched one foot in the soft leather raising her heel and pointing her toe to
the floor. The mat black material molded itself to her foot like a second skin.
The little bow at its throat was knotted daintily above the red stocking covered
seams of her toes. Lowering her heel back to the floor she continued her story.
I still might have passed them by, but right next to them was the perfect pair
of heels that I was looking for to finish my holiday outfit. As I tried on the
heels, I couldn't help but remember that it was 'buy one pair get 50% off on
another'. I grabbed both boxes quickly and made for the nearest register so I
couldn't change my mind.
Once I left the store I started to think about what I had done. OK I had broken
down and brought the slippers to please you. I could live with that, but what
was I going to wear them with? Everything that I had worn them with in the past
had been trashed and again I had second thoughts about my purchase.
Just as I was fretting anew I walked past the 'Victoria Secrets' window, which
was awash with advertising asking, "What is sexy?" Followed up with big red
sale signs. This was all much too much of a coincidence, so I just had to walk
in and at least look around.
The store wasn't very busy at 10am in the morning, so in only seconds there was
a young lady standing by asking me if I needed any help. At first I was going
to brush her off with the standard 'I'm just looking', but then the words just
flowed out of me. "Actually, I'm kind of looking for a baby doll."
"Kind of?" the young woman asked with a knowing smile. "In other words your
husband likes them, but they're not exactly your cup of tea."
"Yes, that's it exactly", I answered, happy to have someone understand my
predicament. "In fact I'm not even sure if I want to be buying lingerie."
"This is my third year selling lingerie", the young woman told me as she gently
took hold of my arm. "And the one thing that I've learned, unless it a sexy bra
or panties to make you feel good about you, the rest is all for him." As she
spoke she led me further into the store, but I hardly noticed as my eyes
remained on her intent face. "The question you have to answer for yourself is
does he deserve it." Her hand made a sweeping motion drawing my attention to
the mannequin standing before me.
I looked the pseudo female up and down and couldn't believe my eyes. "This is
our baby doll for women who don't like baby dolls", she said brightly. "You see
it has a tea length gown attached to the gathered baby doll upper, with a sexy
center slit. Also, take a look at the chest which is actually one of our
miracle bra's, providing just that little extra bit of support. And feel the
material..." she placed the hem of the dress into my hands. The translucent
gauzy weave was amazingly soft. "It's our own patented blend," she stated
proudly. "To top it all off these colors would go great with your hair".
No kidding I thought. The mannequin's wig was almost the same color as my own
auburn locks, highlights and all. The black gauzy gown was highlighted with red
ribbons around the chest, hem, center split and even about the edges of the
puffy short sleeves. The ribbons were further enhanced with small red flowers
spaced about an inch apart.
"It's very beautiful", I told her truthfully. "What about the stockings that
the mannequin is wearing?"
"Oh, that's a set of our red lace garter belt and stockings", she smiled. "The
garter also has the same red flowers on it so it's a perfect match to the
ensemble."
"And the slippers?" I asked with a little catch in my breath.
"That was my idea", she said with pride. "I had the whole outfit together and
it just seemed to be missing something. Then I as I was walking through Macy's
the other day I saw them and they just seemed to be made for each other."
Ann shrugged her shoulders as she finished her story, while she stood in front
of me in her new red and black lingerie. She smiled and intoned softly, "I knew
that I had said never again to the slippers and lingerie, but... But I kept
thinking about how you've been going to the therapist and how great you've been
giving me space to let me be me and how wonderful you been as a father to the
kids, so..." Her voice trailed off as she ran out of steam.
I walked over to her and gently put my arms around her. I gave her a little
squeeze to silently tell her that I appreciated how difficult this was for her
and that I loved her.
"Also..." she looked down not meeting my eyes. "I mean... heck we've talked
about this before, sex with each other just hasn't been like it used to be.
We've been to your therapist together and he has made it clear that your hot
buttons have been hard wired into you from your pre-teen years. And without
years and years of more therapy they aren't going to change." She was quiet for
a few seconds and then continued. "I miss the passion that you used to have
toward me. I miss it a lot."
"I still love you, honey", I told her reassuringly. "But, I screwed up big time
and you haven't been the same since." I put both my hands on her shoulders and
said to her softly, "To me love is like a big circle. A circle of give and
take, sometimes I give and you take and sometimes you give and I take. But
there has to be a balance."
She lifted her head and I could see the look of serious intent in her face and
eyes. "That's pretty much the way that I see it to. The fact is that your
desires aren't going to change and I'm to darn young to be denied the passion I
deserve... so I'm willing to give them back to you." She put a finger to my
lips and continued. "Before you ask the obvious question, the answer is yes,
that does included tying me up." Her hands went to her hips as she purposefully
thrust her breast forward. At the same time she drew one leg from her gown
showing off her sexy hose and again arching her foot to emphasize her slippers.
"I think I giving quite a lot, how do you propose to bring balance to your
so-called circle?"
"Well, if we can adjourn to our bed I think that I can show you the first part",
I said with a grin. I climbed up on the bed and propped my head up with one arm
to look at her. Ann was still as beautiful as the day that we had gotten
married. She made it a point to never let herself move out of a size eight
dress, so she ate well and swam or did aerobics to keep in shape.
She got in from the other side and mimicked my movements, but left a good two
feet between our bodies. I knew that she was happy at what she was seeing
looking over at me. It showed in her eyes and she had complimented me to no end
about, how my own dieting and aerobic routine had gotten me back into the same
size pants that I had worn when we were married. I was pretty proud of my
thirty-six inch waist, which wasn't bad for a six foot four guy with a
forty-four inch chest.
"I knew that I would get your passion back, silly", she chided me. "I want to
know what you're really going to give me."
The song from Cher "If I could turn back time" ran through my mind. "You know
I've thought a lot about how I could have done things better in the past and I
think that the biggest thing that I should have changed was to get you more
involved."
"More involved? How can I get any more involved? You're going to be tying me up
for gosh sakes!" She complained vehemently.
"No", I calmed her with a pat of my hand, "I mean before that. I'm talking
about shopping together for lingerie, slippers or high heels. How many times
did I buy you those things in the past and you didn't like them?"
"It's not so much that I didn't like them", she answered thoughtfully. "It's
just that I felt like I was being handed some kind of uniform or costume..."
"Exactly", I chimed in. "How could you exude the sensuality, that I know you
possess when you weren't comfortable with what I was MAKING you wear."
"Yes, that could work", she replied thoughtfully. "I do feel a lot more at ease
in the clothes that I'm wearing now and they're the first lingerie that I have
purchased for myself in... in years!"
Ann nodded her head and smiled. "That's a good start, but I still feel that the
circle is leaning more towards my giving. What else do you have in mind?"
"Openness", I answered swiftly. "Before we start any role playing, I give you a
run down on the scene. Kind of like a script, so you can agree or disagree to
the whole thing or any part of it."
"That would be excellent!" she replied happily. "I used to hate it when you
kept adding more and more things to bind me. Sometimes it seemed like you were
never going to stop and get to the good part... me! At least if I know what you
are planning on doing I'll be more in tune with your timing."
She held out her hand before her and I took it. "Alright, it's a deal", she
said as she shook my hand.
"So what's your plan for tonight", she asked me with a suggestive leer.
"Baby, I don't have anything to tie you up with tonight", I said in a kind of
shocked but apologetic voice. "There isn't even a piece of rope in the house!"
"Oh ye of little faith", she said as she went back into the closet. "What about
these?" In her hands Ann was holding a number of belts from the many robes that
we owned.
I felt my eyes moisten as the emotions of love and happiness nearly overwhelmed
me. The first thought that passed through my mind was to thank God for giving
me the strength to keep the 'faith'.
"Honey, you're the best." Was all I could get out before I choked up entirely.
My wife, seeing my state rushed over and buried me in kisses. "I love you," she
told me and that was all I needed to hear.
