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A Girl Full of Yes
Author: justatribute
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(Added on Sep 29, 2012)
(This month 13391 readers) (Total 33887 readers) |
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A man picks up a teenaged girl he met online and introduces her to a slightly kinkier sort of play. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 2, 2012 |
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Well now, that's what I call "yes."
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Every once in a while we are treated to a little bit of a short tale that exemplifies the utter impossibility of what we want - by giving us exactly what we want. In this particular case, told in first person, the narrator of the tale is a truck driver who encounters that rarest of opportunities, a young, willing,LEGAL, ACTUAL GIRL (and yes, that is so hard to find!) who is not only willing to prove her femininity to him over the net, but also agrees to meet with him with no limits. She is perfect fodder for his meat cannon. In fact, she is so perfect, so worthless except for her body, she doesn't even have a damn name. It's both sad and awesome at the same time.
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From a plot perspective, this is more the wanton satisfaction of a fantasy. No harm there. Those kinds of stories certainly have a place on the shelf. But there is no character development, no real movement beyond the sexual actions the narrator takes upon the young girl's body. And she is not technically a participant. Tied up and limited to moaning, the somewhat timid, yet totally willing girl has the personality of a tub of margarine. Even her description is "soft," bespeaking a girl next door pretty rather than any strong feature or gorgeous looks. I'm even guessing she's a little plump, but not fat. Only her raven locks get any kind of attention.
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Grammatically the story is well written, with both complex and simple sentence used to add depth and complexity. I didn't notice any major errors to distract from the reading.
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The action however is where this story had its best moments. The author certainly understands the concept of tension, and steadily raised the reader's blood pressure with increasingly sexual acts until the story's (and reader's) climax. Well done.
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In summary, I thought this story was relatively well done, but wished that there had been just a bit more whiskey in the fruit juice. The author certainly has the chops to bring something spectacular to the stage, but the mush of a girl, and the predictable fantasy realization of the story weren't exactly the best forms for the author's talent. We'll see what happens for this author next, but one things for sure, I wish I knew this girl's email address.
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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