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A Life of Slavery
Author: toiletslut
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(Added on Aug 18, 2002)
(This month 33222 readers) (Total 113746 readers) |
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The complete story of a girl lured into a hot lesbian loving night just to find afterward she would slowly be turned into a slave... a slave that would do ANYTHING. And I mean anything, absolutely anything. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (4.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
tragedy3
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 2, 2006 |
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the story concept is good, but was very poorly written. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
BigCat
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 5, 2005 |
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Wow, that's heavy stuff. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 20, 2005 |
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The concept wasn't bad. The execution was very, very poor.
Your writing is without guile or mystery. Your descriptions are pedestrian at best; they neither arouse nor excite. I would have called it primary-school level, save that I know primary students with a better vocabulary.
Your choice of the first person was not a good one; it is the more difficult POV, and you aren't good enough to take advantage of it.
I would seriously consider a writing class before you try anything more. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
headhunter
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 12, 2005 |
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A good start to a story, but very badly written (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
diamondgirl1313
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 22, 2005 |
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I think you did and look forward to more of your stories whether in this catagory or others? (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
gojack10
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 7, 2004 |
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Too much story, written too fast. Needs devolpment and believability. Needs more thought and more time in writing good enough story. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2004 |
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was a good read, could have been and should have been better, had the making's of a real hot story but fails (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
ladys_maid
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 11, 2003 |
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Fair enough story but, as earlier reviewers have mentioned, it never comes close to realising its potential due to poor structuring and lack of the details that would bring a story like this to life. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
veru_skjava
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 25, 2002 |
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I have to agree with Jacen, definitely proofreading is needed, and the lack of details makes it seem like the author hurried through it. I found myself feeling like I had been robbed of much. Premise is workable. I suggest the author visit/post in the forums for assistance. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Jacen
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 19, 2002 |
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This one left me with mixed feelings. I suspect the author is not a native english speaker, and the text would be much improved by simple editing. content is on the cliche-ic side, and presented in a hard and fast way, vs the more detailed descriptions I thrive on.. yet this story was worth reading. once. (6/10)
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