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The Husband You Know
Author: SydneyOZ
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(Added on Mar 4, 2003)
(This month 9230 readers) (Total 16271 readers) |
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Wife discovers husband's bondage toys. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4.5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Cleo671
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 6, 2003 |
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‘In a state of mild shock?’ , she’s been with the man for ten years.. I’d say the shock would something more extreme than ‘mild’ and then the immediate five minute transformation to ‘yes master’. It’s not convincing enough.
The writing and spelling flow easily enough, and are fine to read, but there is a ‘but’ there, there is no real angst and there ought to have been angst considering she finds this itty bit of info after ten years. I’ll rave on if I continue, but sometimes I do notice little plausibility in ‘everyday’ stories that feature everyday things, therefore ought to be more plausible than someone coming in ‘seconds’ when we as the reader don’t really know their level of arousal and there is lack of detail. It defeats the purpose of it being erotic. She feels ‘hurt’ emotionally and there is no expression of her arousal apart from her ‘feeling good’ yet she cums in seconds. So it makes it difficult to ‘buy’ if you know what I mean. It’s written well in terms of flow (paragraphing, grammar and spelling) however there could be more ‘lead up’ , more insight into what arouses her..isn’t she more curious when she opens the case? Doesn’t she rummage through it? I know that if I was sleeping with a man for ten years I certainly would! Does she get a little aroused seeing the imagery..she is home alone..does she have the urge to masturbate.. and so on and so forth.. a little more exploration into her as the story begins from the wife’s viewpoint.
(5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Equalizer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 2, 2003 |
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The pacing of events and characterization was less than OK. Writing needs style and flavor. (4/10)
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