|
|
|
|
|
The Best Laid Plans
Author: Lex Ludite
|
| |
(Added on Mar 7, 2003)
(This month 192041 readers) (Total 440425 readers) |
| |
Teenager Brandi Barnes spends a brutal weekend at a farm being raped, tortured and degraded by a group of men and women who show her no mercy as they give her a major attitude adjustment. While she undergoes around the clock torments, her parents enjoy a weekend orgy on a yacht and her finance-to-be takes a walk on the wild side. This is a significantly revised and greatly expanded version of a story that appeared on this site in March 2003. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 13 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
15% |
8% |
15% |
31% |
15% |
15% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 19, 2007 |
| |
As usual a very readable story by one of the most prolific and interesting of our authors. I had avoided it up to now because of the /m elements, however they are very easy to skip if you prefer to.
The three intertwining stories did not really add to or detract from my enjoyment of the story, and I thought they were juggled reasonably successfully. Very cruel. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 20, 2007)
- Your review is most welcome and greatly appreciated. It seems that serious reviews are rapidly becoming a thing of the past, especially if you have a story that has been up for some number of years. Way too often the review is hit and run and the reviewer never returns to the scene of the crime, no matter how much the story might change, either for better or worse.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Taoxx
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 13, 2006 |
| |
Of course I like the story ; )
Keep up the good work! (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Sep 14, 2006)
- Thanks for your review and encouragement. Older stories like this one suffer from lack of feedback as time goes by. One never knows if it's because everyone who is reading it is a fan, or people have just gotten bored with it.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
kristycumslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 29, 2006 |
| |
This is a great story I like to imagin that I am Brandi (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Aug 30, 2006)
- Thanks for your input and most generous rating. If you want to be in Brandi's shoes, be prepared for some rough sledding ahead. Hope you enjoy it!
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2006 |
| |
Other then the fact some parts moved to fast, (at least for me), this is a well laid out story.
Lex Please dont take to long in showing us the next chapter. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jul 5, 2006)
- Your review and generous rating are very much appreciated. Let me assure you that the next chapter of this story will not take as long to provide as this one. Right now I'm trying to play catch up and also putting out some new stuff under a few other pseudonyms for the readers to chew on.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
DomMaster
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2006 |
| |
I have to say that the effort spent developing the characters is admirable, but the physical sex acts themselves are glossed over and very matter of fact. The pace of the story seems rushed, and I felt like I was watching a hotel version of a porn movie in fast forward. I like to have my face in the action, but instead I felt like I was just catching a glimpse here and there. The recanting of the dog rape scene in chapter 4 is one example where the hint of something exciting was tossed out, but then quickly discarded.
I'll give you credit for the colorful and imaginative adjectives, but I prefer to experience the sex acts themselves in something closer to real time.
(5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jul 5, 2006)
- First of all let me express my appreciation for the time you spent writing this review. You are one of those one in a thousand who does take the trouble of letting this author know how you feel on the subject.
I do however have to take exception to your perception that this is a sex story. It never was intended to be one, and as far as I can can see, it never became one.
The first portion is predominantly violence mixed with bestiality. Sex is minimal as it should be.
The second portion is more violence and character conflict to play back against the first portion. Sex is not a main part in this either.
Portion three is dominance and humiliation in heaping portions. The sex is only a tool to dominate or humiliate.
I hope this outline of my intentions wil make your view of this effort change somewhat. It is what it is, not what you wanted it to be . Sorry about that!
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 7, 2005 |
| |
Absolutely a good start, always good news in an LL story. Interesting premise, and the "three at a time" story telling method has worked for all manner of TV scripting, so why not in erotica?
It seems to be difficult to get inside any of the characters. I feel like I know the minivan better than most of them. (wry grin).
To me, rushing through character development is what killed most of the Pulp Fiction mags of the 30's, the True Confession mags of the 60's, and lots of formerly well-known writers.
I enjoyed the writing, as your work is mechanically correct and tight. I am interested in seeing the next chapters, to see where the story goes from here.
And the wait was worth it. Much tighter story with the rewrite, and fantastic story development. Anxious for more! (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Nov 12, 2004)
- There are even more characters than you know and many of them are what I'd call elevator music. None of the teachers are much to talk about, so I don't, they are tools. However Jon's aunt and her companion are not in that category. So stay tuned, this one has a very long way to go and there are lots of surprises in store for those that stay with this one. By the way you are the first reviewer of this story, the other reviews probably don't make much sense anymore.
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Dec 14, 2005)
- Your revised rating is most appreciated. This one still has a few twists and turns remaining, but it is questionable that the new climate here will allow the work to continue on this site.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 13, 2005 |
| |
As usual, this author is quite adept at excellent and vivid description. Not quite as solid as some of his other works. Just the same, he manages to create a satisfying tale. Be warned, however, that this author tends towards cruelty more than most authors that I have read. I find myself cringing quite often and have to take a break and rejuvenate myself quite often before finishing his tales. Maybe that's good, maybe it's bad. I always finish the stories, though. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Aug 14, 2005)
- My sincere thanks for your generous rating and personal observations on this story. It is definitely cruel, no doubt about it. However the original, which was even more unsettling, forced this revision to be made. To be honest, the only portion of these parallel stories that I truly enjoy writing is the third one involving Margaret and her nephew, Jon. Perhaps it might have been a better decision to just concentrate of that and leave the original alone; but hindsight is always 20/20. Come to think about it, the level of cruelty, mostly mental, in that portion is about to be kicked up a notch, so beware.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Aug 14, 2005)
- I am always aware and ready to cringe at your stories. As I said, I often have to recharge before finishing one of your tales. I am not particularly fond of the sort of torure that you tend to put into your tales and do not find them particualrly erotic because of that. Still, the mark of a good story is when one is compelled to complete the read. As I said, I always do - often it takes a few days, though - after I open my eyes again.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
LordVetinari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2005 |
| |
Lex scores another twisted hit! He has a knack for cruelty that puts him among my favourite authors. I am always left wanting more from his stories. I can't wait for more! (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 12, 2005)
- Thanks for the encouraging review. For the record this makes three (3) reviews that this revised and expanded short story has received, despite 95 thousand (95000) hits! This particular story still has a ways to go and a few more surprises are in store for those who stay with it.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
sam2004
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2004 |
| |
good (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jan 19, 2005)
- Sorry it took so long to acknowledge your review. Your interest in this story is most appreciated.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 1, 2004 |
| |
Lex,
not one of your best, but every author has an off story, but still good (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
naomi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 20, 2003 |
| |
if only my parents had sent me to such a farm...i enjoyed the point/counterpoint structure, but would have to agree with the other reviewers that the story as a whole seemed a bit skeletal and incomplete. quite adequate for a quick cream tho'! (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 15, 2003 |
| |
The author clearly has the ability to write a better story than this. There are some nice turns of phrase, some vivid descriptions, considerable impetus to the story, and few, if any, of the mechanical errors that plague many of the stories here.
But the characters are woefully lacking in depth -- Brandy's "adventures" have the potential of being exciting, but (IMO) she is a stick figure, albeit a very shapely one -- as are her tormentors. I also felt that the story was overly rushed; Brandi's encounters come and go at breakneck speed. It is as if we were being served an expensive fifteen-course meal by a waiter who is rushing us through any number of potentially interesting courses, without allowing us time to savor any of them to its fullest. (6/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Mar 17, 2003)
- This is an excellent review and most appreciated. I plead guilty on all counts, especially my "hit and run" writing style. Hopefully this old dog can learn new tricks; only time will tell.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
rcb
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2003 |
| |
Story premise is ok - but doesn't flow well (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Mar 11, 2003)
- Your review is appreciated and I must agree with your observation. Hope to improve on this problem in the near future.
|
|
|
About 