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Cindy, The Jackpot
Author: Mr JOPI
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(Added on Jun 28, 2003)
(This month 12605 readers) (Total 35303 readers) |
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A young girl finds out after her awakening that she has been kidnaped by a srange group that uses her in an underground casino. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 2, 2004 |
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the story had increadle promise, you realy could of made a supremem posting with this, hopefully in the future, you will make similar longer, but like anything in life, things , anything can be improved (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Princess86426
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2004 |
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This story should have been longer but was worth the time it took to read. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Mr_JOPI
(Edit) (Mar 12, 2004)
- Thanks a lot Princess. I'm glad you read it. żDo you read in spanish also? I've got a lot wrote in spanish.
Kisses
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| Reviewer:
agp_millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 1, 2003 |
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Nasty. Poor Cindy, dread to think what will happen to her next. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Firepager
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 29, 2003 |
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this is a story that should have been far long and better (3/10)
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- Replied by:
Mr_JOPI
(Edit) (Jul 5, 2003)
- Thankyou Firepager. I'd planed a second and third part, but since nobody can enjoy it in english I'd better continue with my spanish stories. My mind has a lot of imagination about how to continue this and other of my stories.
Thanks
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| Reviewer:
don11
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 29, 2003 |
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THe idea has some promise.
The execution is poor. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
Mr_JOPI
(Edit) (Jul 5, 2003)
- I know... so be it. I'm not a native english speaking, so .. I do my best.
Thanks.
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 29, 2003 |
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Okay, Mr. JOPI, it's like this -- I hope you find a site where you can post in Spanish, because it's obvious you've put a lot of thought and no little effort into this, but the translation to English is just killing you. There's quite a little creativity in your story, but it's just REALLY hard to read. Try contacting Woolfighter by searching his story, then e-mailing to him. He may have some advice for you on how to find a translater/editor, or maybe an Hispanic site at which to post. I wish you good luck, man, because you've got some talent and I hope you find a way to demonstrate it. Sorry. (3/10)
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- Replied by:
Mr_JOPI
(Edit) (Jul 5, 2003)
- I've already posted some stories in spanish. Wish someone can tell how good they are. Try to contact whooo??? Give me a private e-mail and I'll contact anybody who could help.
Thanks anyway.
Mr_JOPI
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 28, 2003 |
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The casino notion is not a bad premise for a story, but unfortunately the grammar, syntax, and spelling is not up to standard.
Also could somebody, just once, stage an abduction that did not involve the proverbial 'black van'? How about a Humvee? a pick-up truck with a camper shell? a Winnebago?
That black van has to have a million miles on it by now.
(3/10)
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- Replied by:
Mr_JOPI
(Edit) (Jul 5, 2003)
- Ja ja ja ja ... (lol). Good point about the black van, may be I'm to hollywood adicted :P
I'm sorry not to met the necessary knowledge to write in english, may be some day I'll overcame this. By now I've made my mind to upload only spanish version stories.
Thanks anyway.
Mr JOPI
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