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Shirley's Secret
Author: littlebro_969
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(Added on Oct 7, 2003)
(This month 53754 readers) (Total 117739 readers) |
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A 42 year old woman police woman married with one daughter gets used and abused by black woman and friends. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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11% |
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11% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
cavorqua
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 14, 2004 |
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The story just kept me wanting to know what will happen next, very gripping and stinging. Keep updating this story as I would like to continue the experience with Shirley.
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
frenchgus
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 31, 2003 |
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Very good, I wouldlike read more (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 13, 2003 |
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The story premise is very good, but the auther needs to find someone to help proofread the story. Too many mistakes and too much repetition. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 10, 2003 |
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This one needs plenty of work with respect to tense, grammar and proofing. I'll pass on any further chapters. No doubt that the author was not educated in this country. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 9, 2003 |
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Good story hope there is more to come (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 9, 2003 |
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What a hot little story idea this is!
One problem that jumped right out at me from the start here was, over and over again,and again, too much repetition. E.g. In the first paragraph 'She is a tall blonde..'and then She is a tall woman...' The same words too close together can really bog a reader down. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 8, 2003 |
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I don't care for dialect. It is extremely difficult to use. Whatever mood the author is trying to communicate is lost in the translation. Either english is not the author's first language or the attempt at use of dialect is a complete failure.
An interesting fantasy scenario but it just doesn't work. A ten for the novelty, a one for the execution. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
woolfighter
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 8, 2003 |
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The start is good even the rhythm is a little bit brusque. English is not the author's first tongue. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
pipeshop
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 8, 2003 |
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This has the start of a good domination story (10/10)
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