|
|
|
|
|
Private School
Author: Woolfighter
|
| |
(Added on Oct 11, 2003)
(This month 84444 readers) (Total 203545 readers) |
| |
After moving to another state Bettina takes her 17 years old daughter to the best school in town. Best? For whom? |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 20 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 5% |
0% |
10% |
0% |
15% |
5% |
15% |
25% |
10% |
15% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
viktor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 18, 2006 |
| |
Can't wait the next parts. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 19, 2006 |
| |
From a strictly technical point of view, this story is atrocious. There are more mistakes than I can enumerate. That was the bad. Fortunately, the good (storyline and concept) are quite sufficient to turn a grammatical train wreck into something amusing and worthwhile. In other words, I liked this story. If I could, I would offer two number ratings - a "3" for the poor English skills and a "9" for the concept and storyline. I guess what I am saying is that this story is an editor away from being one of the better stories here. (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 7, 2006 |
| |
A neat concept to build a story around. Fun thoughts and principles. And the newest chapter is much better written than the earliest ones. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jul 11, 2006)
- Thanks a lot. I hoped my english was improving.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bigcat
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2006 |
| |
Crazy as hell. Just a wild tale. I look past your language diffciulties and even am in awe of the degree of facility you have in English as your third language. Would I be as fortunate. Very imaginative. Keep it up. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jul 11, 2006)
- Thatīs the kind of review that makes an author get the best out of himself. Thereīs more to come. Thx
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Kitimatbillie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 28, 2006 |
| |
Excelent story I hope the auther will write more chapters (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jun 23, 2006)
- Thx for the rating. Yes I'm trying to re-focus the story.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
MrsBambi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 25, 2005 |
| |
I agree with ee that this story has some potential but PLEASE use spell check and get a proofreader...(which NOT witch) missing 'the' everywhere..plot needs development...grammar errors, run on sentences...Try asking a friend to read it. (3/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jul 11, 2006)
- Ever tried to write in a foreign language?
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
limbonic_art
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 17, 2004 |
| |
Great setting. Hope to see new chapters soon. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jul 11, 2006)
- You will.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
sadomaster
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 13, 2004 |
| |
This is a great story, waiting for more chapters to come.
keep going Woolfighter (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jan 14, 2004)
- Thanks!
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
thatverybadgirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 13, 2004 |
| |
important details are skimmed over. descriptions are really just summaries. the bit about the girl wanting to vomit at the thought of a black man's cock is racist and offensive. the story is caresless constructed and appears not to have been proofread at all. (1/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jan 14, 2004)
- You are shocked cause something in the story is racist. Sorry, but you are stupid. The whole story is politically incorrect. Better you read
Peter Pan.
- Replied by:
thatverybadgirl
(Edit) (Jan 14, 2004)
- i never said i was shocked, i said i was offended. when i read a bdsm story i expect bdsm content so the fact that the story is not 'pc' is not the problem. i don't consider bigotry to be bdsm content and i don't find the fetishising of black people a turn on and neither do they. if a black man were reading this story and got to the bit about the girl wanting to vomit at the thought of a black man's penis it would be hurtful, not sexy. <br>i notice you don't address any of my other criticisms, so i must have really hit a nerve. i also noticed how an immature person is so quickly reduced to bashing and name calling.
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Jan 15, 2004)
- I don't understand your point of view. My character has the typical "better WASP Weltanschauung" and she thinks she is superior.
If a black guy reads it he will love reading how she sucks a black cock, especially she.
As for the other points I agree english is not my first language (nor the second) but I disagree about construction. It's like live things happening everywhere. Sorry for the names I called you.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 13, 2004 |
| |
The grammatical lapses are so severe as to interfere with any enjoyment of the story. I strongly suspect that the author is not a primary English speaker. Although they are probably very literate in their native tongue they appear to have had no education in American English by native American English speakers. Given this enomous handicap it will be difficult for them to write fiction for audiences used to American or British English. If I were them I would focus my efforts on finding a tutor facile in Written English as a Second Language (ESL)instruction. Best wishes and I look forward to your future efforts.
Three episodes in the English is getting better. As usual I am forced to agree with lex luddite, Franz Kafka meets the Stepford Wives. Actually if Rod Sterling was allowed to use BDSM themes in the Twilight Zone this would have made a great episode (The Toilet Zone?). Let's hope that wollfighter continues to improve. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Boozeman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 11, 2004 |
| |
Well, this one I liked. It has a nice plot and even if it has some grammatical errors, well... the storyline and the actions outweight the errors for me. I'll definetly be waiting for more of this stroy. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 17, 2003 |
| |
Someone needs a proof reader real badly (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 5, 2003 |
| |
What a great premise. The idea is outstanding. The only downside is that the author needs an editor. Too many grammatical errors and paragraphs that run together. An edited version would definately be a 10. (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Nov 5, 2003)
- Well, my english is slowly improving and the main point is you like the framework, the plot, the idea.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
frenchgus
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 1, 2003 |
| |
exellent of course (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
frenchgus
(Edit) (Nov 1, 2003)
- and please, I am begging you more !
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Bonif51
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 27, 2003 |
| |
Very good. I hope we see the next chapter very soon. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bikinkgirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2003 |
| |
Original subject material, imagined myself in such a scenario. Very compelling reading. Can't wait for part 2.
Bikinkgirl
(7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 14, 2003 |
| |
All things considered I must compliment the author for his imagination. This is a truly bizarre story, sort of Franz Kafka meets the Stepford Wives. Yes, the less than perfect use of English does get in the way of my complete enjoyment, but the author has talent and I intend to stay with this extremely interesting tale despite the challenges it presents to this reader. My rating in this particular case does not follow the recommended format. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Oct 23, 2003)
- I love this review. It hits the point. Kafka and Stepford Wifes, yes.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Minx
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 13, 2003 |
| |
Good plot idea but unfortunately, a little hard to read because of the grammar errors and the amount of incorrect word usage. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Jacen
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 12, 2003 |
| |
Needs editing badly. for example, such lines as:
"I haven't heard nothing from her" and:
" Good catch, Arthur" said Tracy Joel to Mr. Benson heavily petting Bettina, and she added when Bettina's hands finally started to fight back" As well as words spelled correctly but used in the wrong context (Ie, witch instead of which) and long, long paragraphs. Oddly enough, it got better both gramatically and content- wise towards the end.
(3/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
woolfighter
(Edit) (Oct 13, 2003)
- You are right. The problem is I think in Spanish and translate, but don`t give up I`ll improve.
- Replied by:
Jacen
(Edit) (Oct 14, 2003)
- It does show potential, I suggest looking in the forum for someone willing to edit for you :)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
peachers
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 12, 2003 |
| |
i thought it was very good,need second chapter soon as frist was a little short. i think it has a lot of promise. (7/10)
|
|
|
About 