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Capture the Flag
Author: Iphigenia-at-Aulis
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(Added on Dec 16, 2003)
(This month 69158 readers) (Total 113168 readers) |
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Out in the woods, an innocent game turns mischievous. One thing leads to another, and Jenny ends up stripped, humiliated, tied-up, switched, and ravished. (Illustrated pdf) |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 21 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (9.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Riptide
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 10, 2011 |
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Brilliant! write more!!! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
gesa
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 5, 2007 |
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This has become one of my favorite stories.
I do like the slow development, the semi-realistic plot and the inner dialogue with its conflicting emotions.
The role of the male characters might have benefitted from more development of similar conflicting emotions.
I would be very happy to read about Jenny's adventures at sea, the sooner the better.
(10/10)
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| Reviewer:
MrMe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 26, 2006 |
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This is still one of my favourite stories, I was happy to read you are continuing jenny's adventures at sea, can we read those any time soon?
So far I've read the three stories you posted here, and another (eastern passion play) somewhere else, have you written anything else besides those?
You've inspired me to write a story myself, but I seem to be an even slower write than you claim to be in your comment below :o (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Prpackaged
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 17, 2005 |
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What a delightful story. Easy to read. The story line is nicely supported. Teens verging on their first experiences examining how the feel as well as what they experience. Well worth reading. I hope that there will be more. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Jul 31, 2006)
- I've been away for a long, long time. I feel bad that people have been writing reviews and I have failed to check back here to acknowledge and thank them.
Receiving such sweet reviews really means a great deal to me, and I am so grateful for the recent crop of reviews by Prpackaged, Tania41, Sweep, headhunter, kmkn, mister0100, and mkemse, some of whose names I recognize as long-time distinguished members of this place.
Actually I am always grateful to all reviewers, including those who recognize the shortcomings in my stories.
--Well, while I've been away I have occasionally been writing. A couple years ago I saw Mutiny on the Bounty on video, and decided that Jenny needed to go on a sailing voyage so that she could get whipped by a modern-day Captain Bligh (spelling?).
Unfortunately, I must be the world's slowest writer. I get stuck, lose inspiration, and months go before I return to the story. I'm on Part 7 of Jenny's sailing voyage, each part is about 20 pages, and I have no idea how to bring the saga to a close. --But what am I doing blathering on like this about myself. Sorry! I'm forgetting that you'd rather read about Jenny. Let me draw inspiration from these reviews and try to move my current writing effort along.
Iphigenia
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| Reviewer:
Tania41
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 22, 2005 |
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Well written, very enjoyable (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Sweep
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 25, 2005 |
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Hi
I really enjoyed your story.
It dealt well with the conflicting emotions and contarary behaviour experienced by folks who are discovering their proclivities to submission and domination.
I'm looking forwared to reading more of your stories
Thanks
Richard (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
headhunter
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 16, 2005 |
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I LIKE this author! I'm not quite sure whether she is Jenny or the other one ... I'd enjoy conversation with either of them! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
kmkn
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 27, 2005 |
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I wish the author to continue this story, write part 2.
Maybe like the 'girl' team as to show thank allow them to keep jenny..... (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
mister0100
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 16, 2004 |
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one of my overall favorites. the young character's initial reluctance and submissiveness, her masochism, her petite figure are lovely, as is the author's pacing and control. the images are a nice plus. hoping for more. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 5, 2004 |
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Wish i was in the game :) (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Magicite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 27, 2004 |
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This was an extremely sexy story. I found Jenny to be a quite a tad unrealistic in her reactions to various things, and it makes her harder to envision as a real person, but it doesn't detract too much from the overall piece.
Edit: I adjusted my score up to a 10. I still find Jenny to be only slightly unrealistic as I did before, but unfortunately, I have no constructive criticism as to how to correct/improve that.
Anyhow, as for why I adjusted my score up, that is because this is the only story on this site which has actually made me desire to read it more than once. This story is perfectly suited for my tastes, and the pacing and direction everything goes is wonderful. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 22, 2003)
- Thank you for the review. The comment about Jenny's behavior being unrealistic leaves me feeling a little helpless for lack of specifics on how she should be different.
Note that the scene was difficult for me. From my point of view, the most realistic reaction would be NOT to consent to anything. But since I would get no pleasure in writing a fully nonconsensual story, no action would occur. The problem was to let Jenny be drawn into it - reluctantly.
There are many fine stories here where the characters are delightful caricatures. But it is not my intent for my central characters to be caricatures. So any elaboration of how you think I should have done it differently would be helpful.
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 27, 2003 |
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This story has a lot of things going for it -- nice narrative thrust, nice dialogue, and a fair amount of heat. But I guess I had more problems with it than the other reviewers. ////
When I was a kid, Capture the Flag was a game that we played at 8 or 10, 12 at the most. And yet here we have Jenny saying things like "He knows that I don't hold with mindless adherence to convention. And he knows that my concept of living as a whole human being has nothing to do with dwelling in a time and place, a culture, where women always keep their tops covered." Which strikes me as the remark of an intelligent young woman of 16, 17, or 18 -- so why would she be playing this silly children's game? With these boorish boys? ///
And then there's the beer. At no point in the story do the girls complain about being cold, even though topless. Obviously it's not very cold outside. And yet the boys drink this bottle of warm beer that they find lying out in the woods for who knows how long. Ewwwww. (And the beer serves no useful purpose to the story that I could see). I kept waiting for there to be a remark about the crispness of the weather, a chill in the air (which would have enhanced the final scene nicely ;-)) but it never came.
That said, the story is a page-turner. I just realized that Iphigenia (kudos for the classical name, evocative of one of literature's most famous sacrificial victims) has written two other "Jenny" stories. Perhaps I should read them so as to better understand our intriguing young heroine, who frankly puzzles me a little. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Jan 2, 2004)
- I've played capture the flag twice in my life. The first time in the woods at age around 11, I didn't really participate in the game; my friend and I merely found a secluded marshy area and communed with the frogs. The second time was in college. The game was totally different, played on an athletic field with a line drawn across the middle. When the game began and I was standing on my team's side of the line, this big guy reached across the line, grabbed me, and pulled me across the line, captured. It is still galling to me that he would exploit his size and strength to physically handle me that way. (Although I can't think of coed games of any type where a number of the guys didn't behave like assholes.) -But the writing of Jenny's story has perhaps changed the resonance of that experience for me.
Your comment on the temperature of beer is curious. Have you ever noticed that in discussing a movie with people, some person may pick some tiny triviality that you barely noticed and make a critical issue out it. I generally interpret the phenomenon as somehow relating to some larger core issue they have. But the temperature of beer? Whoa. But then, I'm not a beer drinker. To me it tastes pretty foul at any temperature. Anyway the only purpose of finding the bottle of beer was to get the guys to stop a while so that Ralph could tell his story. - By the way, in real life a boyfriend an I, walking through a deserted campground in winter, actually found a bottle of beer on the ground. After building a fire at one of the campsites, we shared the bottle. Nice experience.
- Replied by:
Sui Lerua
(Edit) (Jan 4, 2004)
- I thought the temperature of the beer was just fine, but of course I'm British.
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Jan 12, 2004)
- This is a story I've seen on other sites and always enjoyed. I am a bit puzzled by boccaccio's puzzlement in regards to the 'capture the flag' game. Around these parts, we call it 'splat ball' and play it with paint-ball guns, but it's most commonly played by middle-aged men with beer-bellies who want to pretend they're commandoes. I was surprised by how YOUNG the participants were (I assumed them to be in college?). Ah, well. Our perceptions are colored by our experiences. By the way, the best 'Jenny' story is the crucifiction, which I don't think has been posted here, yet.
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Jan 12, 2004)
- This is a story I've seen on other sites and always enjoyed. I am a bit puzzled by boccaccio's puzzlement in regards to the 'capture the flag' game. Around these parts, we call it 'splat ball' and play it with paint-ball guns, but it's most commonly played by middle-aged men with beer-bellies who want to pretend they're commandoes. I was surprised by how YOUNG the participants were (I assumed them to be in college?). Ah, well. Our perceptions are colored by our experiences. By the way, the best 'Jenny' story is the crucifiction, which I don't think has been posted here, yet.
- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Jan 14, 2004)
- Curtis' comment about a different story of mine, titled The Easter Passion Play, being my best is curious. I had not posted it here at bdsmlibrary because I thought it was too flawed by slow progression in its middle section. But with the encouragement of Curtis' comment, I will try to patch its weaknesses and post it here - eventually.
I would again like to thank all of you who have commented. Your efforts to provide authors with critical feedback and to provide readers with interesting discussion is one of things that makes bdsmlibrary a special place - better than any Yahoo story group.
- Replied by:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) (Jan 18, 2004)
- Hey, Curtis -- Are we close to the record for longest review sequence yet? /// I have never connected "Capture the Flag" with "Paintball", which I agree, is largely played by adult would-be war heroes. But Iphigenia made no reference to paintball (at least that I remember) so I took the game at its face value -- i.e. as I remember it -- a children's game.
As for our UK friend and the warm beer -- I challenge him to drink a warm American beer and enjoy it! :-) /// If this story was set in Europe (I don't recall it being specified one way or the other) my beer comment was indeed rather thoughtless
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Jan 18, 2004)
- It's easy to get near the record when replies get entered twice (no idea how that happened). You're certainly right that she didn't specify splatball, but I'd never heard of a game called Capture the Flag (different experiences, again) and it sounded just like splatball without the guns, hence the association I make with it. /// Iphigenia, someday would you list Jenny's stories in the order in which they occured? (Not just the stories at this site.)
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| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 20, 2003 |
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Good job. Great story with a nice build-up. We loved it! (9/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Jan 2, 2004)
- Thank you for the nice review. I'm very pleased that you liked the story.
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| Reviewer:
drake7
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2003 |
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One of the best stories I have read.
I may have something more critical to say after reading it once or twice more, but it seemed rock solid from one read through. The dialogue between characters and the inner dialogue of the protagonists' thoughts was one of the parts I most enjoyed. Excellent work and very nice job on the silhouetes. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 18, 2003)
- Thanks for the heavenly review --and for noting the dialogue and Jenny's inner thoughts. I place a lot of importance on those facets. And thank you for taking an interest in looking at it more than once. I am eager also for CRITICAL comments - ways I can improve - like concrete suggestions on how to bring the characters more to life.
Thanks also for noting my silhouettes. I don't have much confidence in that area. And I'm not sure whether aspects of physical appearance are better left to the imagination. In the past I've found that people have diametrically opposing views on that issue.
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| Reviewer:
kemosabe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2003 |
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Nicely done. Well written and a somewhat believable plot. Like to see more from this author (9/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 18, 2003)
- Thanks so much for the nice review. About the "somewhat believable plot", the near realism of the scene somewhat constrained me to the light end of corporal punishment, which other reviewers noted.
For a scenes of total dis-reality, perhaps my other two stories, "Arousing Courage", and "War and Peace", might be worth a look.
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2003 |
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Very nice story, but Mick should have kicked Ralph's ass. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2003)
- Thanks for the very nice review. --Guys arguing is interesting. But guys actually fighting is... frightening. Besides it was Ralph's creativity that got Jenny tied up and switched, so he is a really essential person who we have to treat well. Also, I view him as somewhat dorky. He would not have sufficient sexual knowledge to know how much he was going to hurt her.
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2003 |
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Some of the finest erotic c.p. I have ever read. I agree with Sui Lerua in that one of the things that makes this story is its balance but the slow pace of development is what I find most delicious. I have never seen a story that better explicates pure adolescent fantasy. This is the antithesis of the crude 'slam, bam, thank you maam', thrown over the knee and hand spanked story. I would rate this as fit for my 'ten all-time greats' list! (10/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2003)
- Wow. Those were incredibly nice things to say. I'm not sure I feel worthy of having my writing praised that way, but it feels good anyway. But don't worry, it won't go to my head. Erotic tastes vary so widely among us. What one person likes, another hates.
--About pacing. I have trouble judging my own pacing. And I sense that other authors may have trouble judging their own pacing. Of course, the worry is that Capture the Flag unfolds too slowly. So I am pleased that the gradual buildup worked for you.
--Finally about the adolescent or High School setting. I find adolescence fertile ground for fantasy. As an adult, one forgets the high negatives that went with those years - the fears, the uncertainty, the dissatisfaction and loneliness - and only remember the magic.
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| Reviewer:
Sui Lerua
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 16, 2003 |
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Top marks from me. Yes it's light, but sexy too, with the ingredients of dialogue, bondage, light CP and sex perfectly balanced. I loved the internal thought process of the narrator, as she gradually realizes how much she likes being a damsel-in-distress. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2003)
- Thanks so much for the very kind words. I'm especially pleased that you mentioned the dialogue. I had such fun in writing the banter between the characters; I can only hope that it was enjoyable reading it too.
And I'm pleased that you mentioned the evolution of Jenny's thoughts. Yes, she seems to like being a damsel in distress, but she doesn't seem to like to admit that to herself (or to anyone else).
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| Reviewer:
woolfighter
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 16, 2003 |
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Good plot, but a little too light for my taste. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2003)
- Thank you for the comments and the nice rating. I will agree that Capture the Flag might be a little lighter than optimum for many readers. But I had a major problem in devising a reasonable way of getting Jenny's clothes off and getting her a whipping.
I couldn't just have the guys descend on her like a pack of jackals. Jenny would really hate that. And I couldn't burden the guys with the mentality of gang rapists. How unappealing.
As a result, perhaps Jenny got off a little light this time. In my next story, whenever that happens, I'll make sure Jenny gets severely punished to make up for how easy she had it this time. -And maybe I'll even punish myself right now if it would please you and the other readers. :)
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| Reviewer:
CoffinNail
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 16, 2003 |
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Very nice--and the accompanying illustrations really added to the tale. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2003)
- I had (and still have) reservations about including illustrations, even silhouettes, in a story. Indeed, it took me six months to get up enough courage to send the story with its illustrations to bdsmlibrary - in part because of doubts about my artistic ability, but also because I am not convinced that it is a good thing for erotic stories to be overly specific about the appearence of the main characters. What is attractive to one person is uninteresting, or perhaps even gross to the next person.
Nevertheless, I am extremely pleased that you felt that the pictures were desirable. And thank you so much for reviewing the story.
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| Reviewer:
rcb
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 16, 2003 |
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Good Start -- Keep Going (8/10)
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- Replied by:
iphigenia
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2003)
- Thanks for the encouragement. I have two other stories that might be of interest on the bdsmlibrary site. I am not a prolific writer. I work very slowly, and may leave a story for months if I get stuck.
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