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Maid for Comfort
Author: Hajim
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(Added on Mar 15, 2004)
(This month 39580 readers) (Total 88923 readers) |
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Girl into BDSM answers ad and meets new Master & becomes his housekeeper/companion with very heavy discipline. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
sam2004
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 21, 2004 |
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good (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 8, 2004 |
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While i was hoping for more, i did enjoy reading it (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
littleslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 28, 2004 |
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a very ordinary story with a limited vocabulary it seems to mainly be " and then i did this and then i did that", fairly boring but like most stories my rating can improve if the author takes a little time to address the vocab. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 26, 2004 |
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While the plot is hardly original, the heroine seems honestly inquisitive and conflicted. So far, that's enough to keep me going. The characters have no third dimension, but maybe that will come as we learn more about them. I was distracted by the use of hyphens as universal punctuation. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
lahrling
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 24, 2004 |
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Neither the most nor least original first 100% consensual Kept Housekeeper story. It's a proven formula and works well here. The writing is well above average, but at often too sparse on description. In particular, I didn't really believe that the narrator had ever really experienced pain more serious than morning after the 10k beer bash hangover and muscle stiffness. This makes her unreliable and we don't really need an unreliable narrator in this story. Sometimes a squaliferously shaped object is just a product of cuban tobaccinist's art. Some of the author's sparsity works in the story's favor, however. Knowing no more than that Pauline, the narrator character, is a 24 year old British girl and that Ted her Dom is a 30-ish decently well heeled professional allows the reader to project a broad range of appealing mental images onto these two characters.
The 8 rating comes mostly from the pacing, rhythm, and tone of the piece. All are excellent. That and the author's commendable compositional command of the tongue of freedom make this one worth bookmarking. I hope the author continues to develop this piece. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 18, 2004 |
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This has nothing novel about it. Both characters come staight from the cookie cutter and what transpires between them sounds like the musings of a teenaged hormone case. The writing is acceptable, too bad the author didn't chose something more challenging than the three millionth version of this age old story. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2004 |
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I have to agree with merseyman. The author's ability to describe a scene or the action taking place is minimal. The dominant might just a well be putting the belt to a bolster as to this sub as neither the mind nor the flesh is responding. She describes her disciplining with the same flat affect that a heavily medicated schizophrenic might employ "and then he hit me with a belt and it stung but I got turned on". Although the author can write a grammatically correct sentence and put sentences together into paragraphs - color, mood, nuance, emotion, development are nowhere to be found. Put some fire into your writing! Or else some menace. Or hardest of all, some eroticism.
Hopefully the following episodes will be better and I can raise my rating. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
merseyman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2004 |
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I am unable to agree with the very high rating given by the two previous reviewers. The story is simply an account, no attempt has been made to develop the characters who both seem one dimensional cutouts. May improve, but don't hold your breath. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
IBSDSLAN
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2004 |
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Keep it cuming. It is a good start. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
P4C0
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2004 |
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excelent, really nice, maybe you miss a little of body discipline like nice shaved pussy and ass, inspections of his work with punishments if something is wrong, I'm looking forward for more updates, nice job!!! (10/10)
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