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Mom's Mistake
Author: Jethro Jodhpur
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(Added on Mar 18, 2004)
(This month 308223 readers) (Total 626817 readers) |
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His mom's unquenchable need for sex and pain is getting in the way of progress so her teenage son and his girlfriend solve the problem by renting mom's body to the local sex maniacs and sadists; a win-win for all concerned provided mom can keep up with the customer demand for her unique services. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 7, 2009 |
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My main irritation with Lex Jodhpur's tales, is the eerie flamboyance with which the main character expresses himself. It is akin to a certain James Cagney style, which amounts to a lot of bleat and no wool.
The reason for this, is that the writer never comes up with different aspects to his main character the writer uses in his different stories. The main characters are all interchangeable because the development of that main character never goes further than Jethro Ludite's inner self, meaning that it's never the main character speaking but the writer, who has placed himself in the position of his creation.
Okay, so this is done often, usually with a nice outcome. But with Jodhpur/Ludite the outcome is always the same, i.e. his main character is always the same, reacts the same, talks the same... That's fine by me. For one or two stories. Not for the lot.
This strikes me as odd, because one thing we cannot state, is that the writer doesn't have any skill, nor that he knows what he's doing. It's just that the writer has difficulty in adjusting his main character to the environment that character is evolving in and painting different traits in accordance.
Therefor, I can only conclude that the writer's own character is rather one-dimensional.
Nevertheless, Jethro/Ludite's stories are quite fun to read, as long as the man doesn't stray too far from his main plot.
"Mom's Mistake" is great, bar the annoying characteristics of the son.
Oh, did I mention the resemblance this story bears to "Sex Slave Mother" by King (King himself got the mustard from an unfinished MKarl story called "Sex Slave Mommy")? Okay, so I just did. Not that there's any plagiarism involved, there's too much difference between the two. That's why I said "bears a resemblance"...
JJ (9/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Jan 25, 2009)
- Now it works! I'd have given this story a 6 myself, so there is little to disagree on that subject. It was written to prove a point and I won! As for you criticism about my ability to write that's your opinion, but it's not shared by yours truly. How many of my 43 stories did you read to come to that conclusion? Don't tell me you cherry picked, that would disappoint me to no end.
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Jan 26, 2009)
- I never said I felt you can't write, on the contrary. I only said that all your main male characters are the same, for I have a strong feeling that it's always you...
I honestly don't know how many of your stories I've read so far, or of anybody else, for that matter.
That's why I'm going through the lot again, but with the addition of a review this time.
You'll see me popping-up on a regular basis over the next couple of days/weeks...
Must also admit I was in a bit of a foul mood when I wrote this here review.
JJ
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Feb 7, 2009)
- Re-read everything, from start to finish. Liked the story better than when reading in shorth lumps as content was added. Raised the score from seven to nine as a result.
JJ
- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Feb 14, 2009)
- I am quite surprised to see your revised rating. Usually people just give me a number and go their merry way regardless of what happens after they review it. Your generous rating is very much appreciated. You appear to be a man of his word, I am honored.
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| Reviewer:
CoolYin
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 20, 2007 |
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I really like your stories.
However, there is one thing in some of them that I don't like and this is one of them. They lose their focus. Instead of telling one story you introduce too many subplots, new characters and sidestories so that the real plot gets more and more into the background (compare this, W. Wife's punishment and Help wanted).
However, this is still a 8/10 because of the high writing skills and the beautiful plot. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Nov 29, 2007)
- Thanks for your insight and very charitable review. Most of my stories begin one way, and take a few turns as things develop and interact, then usually wrap things up and stay between the lines. You are correct in observing that my plots are quite complex, filled with characters and can be a challenge to the reader. If you think you have problems, you should take a look at my outline as a story develops. This particular story was done to prove a point, namely that the site lurkers comprised the vast majority of my readership and they were not interested in good writing, just buckets of blood, gore and rapes. The number of hits this one has received proves my point in spades!
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| Reviewer:
Nikolaj
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 18, 2006 |
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Very good story with good action and imagination. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Sep 18, 2006)
- Your very positive review is much appreciated. There are a number of chapters that will be posted very shortly. I hope they will continue to keep your interest.
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 18, 2006 |
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Very well done. I would not mind seeing the two trouble makers end up taking the dogs (9/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Jan 18, 2006)
- Your review and generous rating are very much appreciated. I like your suggestion, those two are certainly due for some payback, even in this strange, sick world in which they reside.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 16, 2006 |
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could have should have been much better, it realy had the basics for a great story based on theme, but you went east on a west bound only street.
Yes I do know the difference between a street and an avenue, but based on what you have said, do YOU know the difference, everyone looks for different things in stories
Your sarcasim is very much apprciated (5/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Apr 1, 2004)
- I'll say this much for you, you know the difference between a street and an avenue.
- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Jan 18, 2006)
- I note with some interest that after nearly two years, you have returned to the scene of the crime. I still don't understand your comment about the story's direction, but I guess that will have to remain your little secret. The creation of the Nerdette support group and the revelation that little Luci Chu is no preteen would indicate to most reviewers that the story has moved from a street to an avenue. Sorry you didn't notice that on your most recent visit.
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| Reviewer:
CarolinaSpkr
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 31, 2005 |
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I have rarely replied to a story.
I was eagerly reading the addition of the history teacher in peril and bam what a dissapointment!
Do you realize your readers never go to feel the humiliation experience the female teacher felt of having her surely brief style panties on display, the false security of those spanks on her pantied bottom as you feel the heat through the cottoned globes. pulled down, her spanking, the opening of of her trembling ass crack and feeling that cold air on her tiny rosebud.
Okay, make her a masochist, but spank her hard , fuck her ass , let her her have to hear the himiliation of her own fart as she is breached in her tight ass hole.
Perhaps she could be secured in a closet and with her bottom red and throbbing inside and out reflect on how she arrived at this closet.
I do think your story is has dynamite and edge.
(7/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Aug 31, 2005)
- First of all allow me to express my thanks for taking the time to review this story, it is very much appreciated. However let me caution you about jumping the gun on this little tale of torment. All I've presented to date about the nerd teacher is background to set the stage for what is about to happen to her in a subsequent section. Since it's already been written and will be submitted shortly, I would urge you to wait until you read my version before you attempt to rewrite it to conform to your interests. Be advised that the teacher is but one of many who will suffer the trials that lead to membership in the NLA.
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| Reviewer:
LordVetinari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 17, 2005 |
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The writing style leaves something to be desired, but the author has come up with some quite inventive tortures. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Jul 18, 2005)
- I certainly appreciate your most positive review. On your observation concerning the writing style, all I can offer is the fact that I am perfectly capable of writing with a much more refined style, but this type of mindless story, peopled by cruel, untutored types demands a cruder form of communication to stay in character as far as the narrator is concerned. Jethro is always crude and to the point because that's the kind of stories he writes.
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| Reviewer:
pinto
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 13, 2005 |
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I think that you could have done the chapters a little better. with the beganing and ending of them. Maybe it would have made the story come toughter a little easier (6/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (May 14, 2005)
- Thanks for your review, it is appreciated. However I am having some problems with understanding your suggestion about the beginning and ending of my chapters. Are you suggesting that they are too short or are you concerned that I am leaving you hanging. If the latter is correct, that is done deliberately to keep up the readers' interest.
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| Reviewer:
kaleun76
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 1, 2005 |
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While imaginative and well written, it really does not achieve the suspension of disbelief that I think is essential for a well rounded story. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (May 2, 2005)
- Your cogent review is much appreciated. This story is written strictly as stroke material, it has no other purpose. I post my A-side work under a different pseudonym. In passing it should be observed that the readership on this site is much more attracted to this kind of stuff based on the number of hits it receives.
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 30, 2004 |
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It's rough and it's crude, but I don't mind that. Mostly it's hot, and that's what I'm looking for. Sophistication is fine, but I want to get off, and this isn't bad as one-handed reading goes. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Apr 1, 2004)
- Couldn't agree more with your take on things. When was it hijacked by the literary types? I always thought this was a stroke site.
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2004 |
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A four for unredeeming crudity. I like my s & M to have some elegence, some plot, some character development, some color, some novel twists, some insight, some comedy or satire. This has none of the above. Even the depictions of the tortures lack the kind of colorful detail that provides enjoyability. If the author is trying to reproduce the shallowness of the average thirteen year old male mind, a good job has been done. I prefer a bit more sophistication in my BDSM. This is obviously the product of a writer in the early stages of development. I suggest reading some of the stories of lex luddite, Lord Douche or woodsman's game to see how it can be done. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
jethro jodhpur
(Edit) (Jul 18, 2005)
- You misspelled lex ludite's name.
- Replied by:
DomMaster
(Edit) (Jul 9, 2007)
- You know, this type of review just discourages the writer. People - this is NOT an English lit class. Hard and brutal punishments written clearly enough to give you a hard-on is what it's all about. Lex Ludite is a pompous ass and I wouldn't take the time to wipe my ass on his self righteous dribble.
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