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An Ocean of Misery
Author: Jim Hale
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(Added on Jul 12, 2004)
(This month 82485 readers) (Total 143300 readers) |
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Sara and Kara are twins. Their dad is a judge. They get what they want. The main thing they want is a full use slave for their summer cruises. They get a special one this time. He enrolls as a senior right after January first. They quickly get use of him before school is out. They train him well. Will the ocean cruise be misery for him? |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
uktrucker100
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2004 |
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Hi Jim.
I think your story was great. however can I ask that you use more torture. Great story wish I was the subject:-) (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
buzby
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 13, 2004 |
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Thank you Jim for another great story (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Kingcodez
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 12, 2004 |
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Great job on this story. Some minor spelling errors but not bad. I'd love to see the sequel to this story. I love seeing it from different perspectives also. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
D. Atrocity
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 19, 2004 |
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I liked this pretty well. All in all, I like the way the girls are characterized as confident and spoiled like beautiful goddesses. Their dad seems like he would be an interesting character, too. I had some trouble with the grammar, but not so much with the teenage talk. It took time to understand, but I kind of liked the way they talked. It some how made it seem more natural when told from their point of view. (though if many other readers struggle with it and complain, I'd reccomend telling your next one in third person) I hope you continue with this. I'd really like to hear about the cruise and the abuse he continues to suffer at the hands of these wonderfully sadistic young ladies. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Darkwings
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 19, 2004 |
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Not bad. I got a little sick of the teen lingo and there were some minor spelling mistakes that I could see, but the story overcomes that in the end. Also, thanks for coming up with a good F/m story. I'm not usually as into those as M/m, but F/m are rare so it's good to see this posted. I love the girls, btw, despite the somewhat annoying way they talked. All in all they were in character. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
abitbent
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 13, 2004 |
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Good concept Jim. It could just be me getting too old, but since the narrative was from the teenage twins perspective, before i could get halfway through, i'd had enough of the teenspeak. lol I think the story might be better if the narrative was from an impartial 3rd party and the twins were part of the story. Like arty, i have to say thanx for writing an F/m story. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
arty
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 12, 2004 |
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nice introduction to the goddess' next "lucky",slave. again, good attention to details and i as always like the emphasis on the beauty of the goddesses and the effect their looks and mannerisms have on their next toilet. i'm looking forward to subsequent chapters! jim, thanks for writing about dominant females. arty (9/10)
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