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The Letter to Ryan
Author: H. Dean
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(Added on Feb 18, 2005)
(This month 25071 readers) (Total 44195 readers) |
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A letter that reveals the dark side of a man obsessed with body modification and his slave, Debbie. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
delish
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 1, 2008 |
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Chilling, brutal and well written, as expected. I don't know that it's one I want to read again, because it's so very discomfitting, but it certainly can't be ignored that it is above average. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
moptop
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 22, 2007 |
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Beasty, you are lazy within your own definition of what good/bad within this story - you have never taken it past the draft stage, it contains proofing errors and some obvious clumsiness or style/ repetition/gaps in narrative in order to allow the reader to follow it.
I didn't like the ending, either.
It is, however, adorably sick, and an early view into your fascination with body transformation. These ideas are horrific and compelling. *shivers* (7/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Sep 22, 2007)
- This was an early story - one I had not given proper care with for lack of many thing - like patience. Everything you said was right on the money about this story. Thanks for pointing it out and bursting my bubble of magnificience. Seriously, thanks for the review, you really were right on with it.
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| Reviewer:
Beswitchingly Positive
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 12, 2007 |
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This, like all of Mr. H. Dean's stories has a palpably distubiing quality. Instead of brute force, science, surgery and brainwashing work against this young woman at the hands of an intelligent monster. There could be a more convincing, longer description of how she fell for this, and why the second guy fell for her.
This well written piece has only one glaring flaw for me, as far as the flow. The ending.
I feel it would have been a more powerful piece had the nicer guy not spoken his thoughts at the end, but rather looked into the vapid depths of her childlike expression and assume your reader is not stupid and leave the direct thought (which was made obvious by the preceeding sentences) up to your audience.
This would leave a definate aftertaste in the reader's mind, lets them find the conclusion and makes the message of the piece louder. For me this kind of ending is the difference between an m&m and a godiva truffle in storytelling. You are really close.
All in all, very disturbing. I liked the use of the letter as device for covering a lot of back ground time fast, could be fleshed out into and epic horror if you wanted to detail the process of her mental annihilation at the hands of her "lover." Thanks for not doing that. I love and hate your stories. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (May 12, 2007)
- Thank you so much for the overly loty rating and the well thought out review. I agree that the ending was not wonderful. I recall struggling with it a bit...or a lot. Not my best work, nor do I think it is quite deserving of the lofty rating you have offered. Of course, I am probably my harshest critic.
Thank you, once again.
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| Reviewer:
tessa
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 23, 2007 |
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This one disturbs me. The idea of it will haunt me for a while, I do believe. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Feb 27, 2007)
- Hopefully it will haunt in a good way.
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| Reviewer:
badsubbiegirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 10, 2006 |
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extreme and kinda scary good story (10/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jun 10, 2006)
- It was that. It was, as I recall, my first real venture into extreme modification. Thanks for taking the time to offer a review.
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 15, 2005 |
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A well-written but gruesome story, perfect for Halloween or sitting around a camp fire with a carefully selected group. Except for the word "enjoyable" in the definition of a 9, this would be one. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Oct 15, 2005)
- Looks like you went through my writings pretty thoroughly. Believe it or not, this tale has a second chapter in the works. But, I must ask, why is it that you did not enjoy this tale?
- Replied by:
longrover
(Edit) (Oct 30, 2005)
- Thank you for your kind words about my reviews. For better or worse, I'm one of the minority who find vampires, werewolves, mad scientists (Frankenstein, Jekyl and Hyde, etc.), and so on beyond comprehension or interest. "Ryan's Letter" is in the long tradition of friends left to deal with someone else's mess but the combined extent of the mess, the sadist's unresolved fate (unlike Frankenstein, Dr Jekyl, etc.), and the friend's apparently effortless transition to the role the sadist offered were too much for me. I think the story is otherwise well done, so I put it in the list of stories to be told to an appropriate audience in suitably spooky surroundings.
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| Reviewer:
LordVetinari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 22, 2005 |
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This story was seriously twisted. Well done! However, I would add "Caveat lector" (let the reader beware), because it is everything the author promised. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Aug 22, 2005)
- Thank you for the kind review. You have given me my chuckle for the day. I've a second tale for this story planned. Perhaps I should start it with such a warning as it will probably push the envelope a touch further.
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| Reviewer:
Belly
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 3, 2005 |
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The writing is fine, but the story is depraved. We all have limits and this one went way past mine. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 3, 2005)
- Interesting that you have given a low rating because the story went past your limits and not due to the merits of the story. Why did you bother to rate it? Did you bother to read the story codes?
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| Reviewer:
IanChaos
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 19, 2005 |
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I really enjoyed this, cudos. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Aug 15, 2005)
- Thanks for the kind words.
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