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It Does Come Around, Sometimes
Author: Teacher
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(Added on Mar 22, 2005)
(This month 9399 readers) (Total 14190 readers) |
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A case of paid for revenge, mistaken identity, and payback for the perpetrators. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (4/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2005 |
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i have a real difficult time with story that have no lead in, when you go right to the "action" there is nothing left to build up for the reader (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
anguisette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2005 |
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unimpressive. while the story was not hard for me to follow, it was annoying in its sequencing. also, as bisarah pointed out, it simply wasn't an arousing read. it is, though, a good start to a later story, a rough draft of sorts. with a good edit and rewrite, especially on the story's sequence and on the "action" scenes, it would be a passable story. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
bisarah
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 22, 2005 |
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this story was very confusing. the pace was way too fast and i was just puzzled by the end of it. it made no sense at all. perhaps you could re-write and explain the parts of who the girl was supposed to be and why the guy was so angry at her. And you might think about using more descriptive expressions ... "he inserted his penis in her ass" is just not hot. (4/10)
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