|
|
|
|
A Pony Is Broken
Author: SFCityDom
|
|
(Added on Mar 29, 2006)
(This month 25403 readers) (Total 54555 readers) |
|
She just needs to listen to him and do what she is told |
Ratings and Reviews: |
Number
of Ratings: 6 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
17% |
33% |
33% |
17% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?): (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating: (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating: (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating: (6/10) |
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
kaleun76
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 21, 2006 |
|
Good story. Worth reading. The style was a little forced, but a good read nevertheless. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 15, 2006 |
|
Nice Story (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
slavegirl2006
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 31, 2006 |
|
i can't wait to read the rest, You have me hooked! (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 31, 2006 |
|
Interesting and erotic story. This is of course the main if not the only purpose here. Looking forward to the next part. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 30, 2006 |
|
This is a rather entertaining story. The dialog is believable and, actually, familiar. I have had quite a few conversations like the ones which transpired in this story. This is a long way to go about saying that I liked it. Unfortunately, the tale was saddled with a few problems. First of all, the editing needs to be improved - "though" where "through" was the intent, etc. - though these errors were not overly distracting. Other technical issues were present but, as before, not overly distracting. The main problem with this story was the voice. Present tense omnipotent, as this tale was told in, is nearly impossible to pull off without being annoying and tedious. This final factor, more than anything else, is why I reviewed this tale with as a "6" and not higher. I really think that, had this tale been told with a different voice (past tense omnipotent) it would have been dramatically better. (6/10)
|
|
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
- Hah - I meant "omnicient", not "omnipotent". I must have been projecting my own ego.
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 29, 2006 |
|
great start (9/10)
|
|
|