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The capture of a Beauty
Author: Gemma Jones
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(Added on May 8, 2006)
(This month 52240 readers) (Total 66189 readers) |
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Byron captures a beauty, a rebel and begins the journey of making her his. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Ruby
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 13, 2006 |
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Love the premise. A vampire finds a rebellious gypsy. Getting past the spelling and grammar nits, the descriptions are pure porn. Insert A into slot B, use some naughty language and confuse the readers with a consensual/nonconsensual victim who a virgin but knows all about orgasms. If this is aiming for porn, it does a nice job. If it's aiming for erotica, with character development or the reader bonding with one character or another, it needs a bit more work. I am looking forward to a revision and am hoping to review with a higher score. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2006 |
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Excellent description of Amber's way of thinking. She has a mixture of enjoying and repulse. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 9, 2006 |
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Reasonably erotic, but needs work on the decription side, and your spelling and grammar also needs to improve. Neither extremity nor torture was in evidence, but I accept this is merely part one. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 9, 2006 |
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i thought vy the story line it woud be agreat rea, but it misse it's traget by a wide margin, just not much to this (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 8, 2006 |
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Sorry, I couldn't finish the story. Grammar and sentence construction was so poor, I found myself rereading each sentence three or more times just to catch on what was meant.
Take out about 2/3 of your commas and replace them with periods, and it might be closer to readable.
A good editor could help you raise the score a lot! (3/10)
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