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Patties new life
Author: Soren
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(Added on Jun 2, 2006)
(This month 33014 readers) (Total 84175 readers) |
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Husband wants wife enslaved and used in every way possible. She will be a slave to the community. He enlists two lesbians to train, posses and own her |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 26, 2010 |
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Good story, badly written. Not so bad that it makes yer eyes water, but still, quite distressing.
"Pattie's New Life" is as novel as a horse-drawn coach and is bulging with phrases which make your eyebrows migrate North permanently. Sometimes the chin joins in the trekking, but in the opposite direction, leaving your face in a rather painful expression. Painful, because there's not enough skin to cover the parting of brow and chin to the extent they do.
Because, this story is another one of those which sparked from a lecherous mind too eager to do the nasty with a woman, forgoing on a reality check and on some much needed filling to make the characters a tad more robust than the Rizla cigarette paper I'm using...
That, and the silly sentences, made this a bit of a struggle for yours truly. A rewrite with rephrasing every other sentence could make this into something far better.
JJ (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
irishman112145
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 14, 2008 |
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This is an excellent story and am looking forward to read more. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 3, 2006 |
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Good start to the story. I would love to see were you take it.
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2006 |
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my kind of story, theme, genere (9/10)
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