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Soccer Slut Wannabes
Author: Lex Ludite
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(Added on Jun 13, 2006)
(This month 99109 readers) (Total 205219 readers) |
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These two Asian sisters will do anything to make the university soccer team with disastrous consequences |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
ALLAHHAVEMERCY
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 6, 2011 |
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when i read the first line, I didn't want to continue reading, because the girl was 2 inches below 5 feet, which makes her a pigmies. I am not really turned on by pigmies. But then I skipped a few paragraphs and read what happened to her and that turned me on. That's what tiny ugly chink girls deserve! LOL (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 20, 2010 |
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This is the kind of story, where you sprint to the bedroom grabbing for loose-fitting garments after just gotten through the first half of the first sentence of the very first paragraph.
Otherwise you might get hurt, because as the Dean pointed out, this story has so much straightforwardedness it threathens to dent your trousers a tad too much, should you of course be of the male variety of the species.
On the other hand, choosing too loose an outfit might have its downsides as well. I had a few instances where I almost lost conciousness due to too much blood flowing to the lower abdominal regions. I could point an accusing finger at Newton and his gravity laws or Archimedes and his communicating containers and buoyancy principles, but I need all of my strength and faculties to get me through "Soccer Slut Wannabes" because I need to write a review afterwards...
That's why I wrote one now, just in case I shouldn't make it. If the latter would be my fate, well, goodbye folks. It was nice being around this place.
I'm in dire need of some ice-cubes right now...
JJ (10/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 20, 2010)
- What can I say but the hits just keep on coming. This started as a throw-away, but it has proven to have longer legs than first thought. I promise to submit the next chapter before the end of this summer. As usual your reviews and observations are definitely accepted and in most cases thoroughly enjoyed.
- Replied by:
ALLAHHAVEMERCY
(Edit) (Apr 6, 2011)
- WTF you talking about you stupid shit
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| Reviewer:
jep33
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 29, 2008 |
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As usual for me when reading one of Lex’s stories, this one is a bit too brutal for my tastes. However, when I want to get re-introduced to really good writing, one of his is what I turn to.
I appreciate the flow, the structure, the progression from one scene to another and the ability to assault my senses.
It’s a bit like going to a carnival and deliberately riding a ride that I know is going to scare the hell out of me. Well done.
On a personal note, Lex helped me with my own first venture into writing. I cannot come close to his abilities but I write better because of the assistance he gave me.
(10/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 30, 2008)
- Your review has certainly made my day. It is rare that someone goes into the details of my writing style as well as describes the affect it has on the reader. I appreciate your effort in providing this information to me.
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| Reviewer:
schoolboylv
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 20, 2006 |
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I enjoyed this story, but I did not like the newly added section. A little too violent for me. Looking forward to seeing what happens next. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Sep 20, 2006)
- All reasonable reviews cheerfully accepted! However if you think this is violent, please avoid the rest of my stuff like the plague, and this includes the upcoming chapters of this little exercise.
- Replied by:
Taoxx
(Edit) (Sep 20, 2006)
- I cannot understand how you could read the first chapter of this and expect the rest of the sory to be not much violent.
- Replied by:
Taoxx
(Edit) (Sep 20, 2006)
- I cannot understand how you could read the first chapter of this and expect the rest of the sory to be not much violent.
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 24, 2006 |
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This review is based on the story's first few paragraphs. The author's victim is half a foot (15 cm) less than average, whic must be a low estimate of the average height of women athletes. That makes her attackers bullies, at best, no matter what their sex or gender. To excuse their behavior on the basis of this site's minimum standards may justify ranking the story a 4, since it's purely technical (grammar, spelling, etc.) features are acceptable, but that is not enough to say it is well-written or a good read. Whatever the rest may bring, the author has no justifiable reason to claim the story deserves more than 4 points. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 25, 2006)
- Since you took the time to issue your review based on the first few paragraphs of my story, I cannot let it pass. Allow me to refresh your memory concerning reviews. The review is not to be content driven! If you don't like what you are reading stop reading it and go on to something that you enjoy better. Don't bother spewing your inane comments about! If I have offended your delicate sensibilities, so be it, that's your problem not mine. I call your attention to the last line of the previous review response which I doubt you took the time to read since you were getting your jollies at insulting my work.
- Replied by:
longrover
(Edit) (Jun 25, 2006)
- I would not comment on the author's reply to my review except that he misstates the site's guidelines for reviewers. The criteria for awarding points explcitly (1 point) or implicitly (all the others) include content and the FAQ on reviewing asks only that reviers "... refrain from judging the work based solely on its content." My review objected to bullying, not to violence or any sexual activities in particular or in general, and gave credit for the author's technical skills.
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 26, 2006)
- Based on your original review and continued efforts to justify your opinion that is not shared by other reviewers, it is fairly obvious that my story has tweaked something in your psyche that is best handled by a professional. I wish you a speedy recovery from whatever has caused you to act irrationally with respect to my story.
- Replied by:
Rabbit1
(Edit) (Jun 28, 2006)
- it is sad that someone would attempt to review a story based on the story's first few paragraphs
he should have move on to a story he could read
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| Reviewer:
Mr. Pete
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 24, 2006 |
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I'm not a big fan of gratuitous violence, and the level of violence in the first chapter rose to that level. *Spoiler Alert* In fact, the whole scene was ridiculous. I can buy a gang rape, but then to rape her with that machine and then gang rape her bleeding pussy again? There wasn't one member of either team disgusted in the slightest by all that... disgusted enough to tip off the police? Please! I know it's fantasy, but this was over the top. The second chapter was better, and I actually enjoyed the third. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 24, 2006)
- All things considered, your review is welcome, since perhaps only one reader in a thousand takes the time to sit down and let me know what they think about my stories. I do however take a great deal of exception to the criterion you used in rating this one. You seem to be content driven, which according to the guidelines is a no-no. My codes should have alerted you to expect what you read. I am however surprised that in view of the way you reacted to chapter one, you continued to read the rest of it. This site is devoted to BDSM, it's even in the title. It also is oriented toward fantasy. This story qualifies on both counts. In my humble opinion your use of the word "gratuitous" is rather insulting to this writer. In the future, to paraphrase Harry S Truman, " If you can't stand the violence, stay away from my stories".
- Replied by:
Mr. Pete
(Edit) (Jun 25, 2006)
- I could more broadly have said that the story lacked verisimilitude and had little if any character development. Gratuitous means "not called for by the circumstance," and I stand by that comment. I can understand why both teams might have wanted to humilite and rape this girl, but no where in the story did you motivate the additional level of violence in Chapter 1 (Note: Parker always motivated his characters' actions!). Rather, you added more violence to the story because you and your fans get off on it, which is ok, but that doesn't make it not gratuitous. I rechecked the story codes, and no where did you list "snuff." You listed the story as "consensual" and "heavy" among others, but the violence in Chapter 1 went beyond "heavy" when the Asian girl was beaten to death.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jun 26, 2006)
- The Asian girl was not beaten to death - just rather close.
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 23, 2006 |
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Stories don't come much more frank and straight forward as this one. As usual, Lex, your story seems to flow with near flawless "grace". Of course, "grace" is a relative term best used to describe the flow from one coldly descriptive scene to another. As usuall, your tale is a bit harsh for my own tastes. However, for straight forward and quick flowing brutal porn, this is nearly perfect. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 23, 2006)
- There is not too much that can be said when one gets a very high rating and some facts and opinions to back it up. I would however like to defend myself from this view that I am the prince of brutality or some such sobriquet. It is my firm belief that the first chapter will make or break a story; thus I would be remiss if I did not throw the readers some raw meat to whet their appetites. In some cases once they have been hooked, I rewrite and usually tone down the very chapter that got their attention. Examples are "Help Wanted", chapter 1 recently revised and "The Best Laid Plans", totally rewritten and expanded into a novelette that will soon see the posting of chapter 18, just finished. If you need other examples, I will be happy to provide them. Once again let me thank you for a cogent review that is made more satisfying since it comes from a fellow scribbler.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jul 6, 2006)
- Ah, Lex, I have read a good number of your stories. I have even ventured, as I recall, into those you mentioned here. However, as I value my sleep and sanity, I tend to read your longer stories sparingly and over a good deal of time. Of course, I will eventually get to finishing your entire arsenal of work - and I do mean arsenal; your stories are an assault on the senses and, of course, my delicate sensibilities can only take so much at one time.
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| Reviewer:
Taoxx
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 21, 2006 |
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Writing Skill and hardcore scenes are perfect as always.
But I don't like the direction of the story. The first part is nothing but an unmotivated crime (yet) - nothing that turns me on. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 21, 2006)
- Your review is very much appreciated. I can't say that I totally agree with your analysis of chapter one, but it is what it is. Whether Luci can overcome her sister's fate is the meat of the story, and you'll have to follow it to find out. Be advised that my stories have many twists and turns and things are not always what they seem to be.
- Replied by:
Taoxx
(Edit) (Jun 22, 2006)
- That's why I put a "yet" in parenthesis. I will follow the story and then adjust my rating.
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| Reviewer:
Rabbit1
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 14, 2006 |
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Glad to see you back and writing in your great form look forward to seeing more of this story (9/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 20, 2006)
- Thank you for the generous review. It is most appreciated, especially considering all the other little things you do for the site. This story just popped out of my head and more will follow very shortly.
- Replied by:
Rabbit1
(Edit) (Jun 28, 2006)
- Lex one of the perks of the job I do here is I get to read each and every story ---and it is a joy to run across stories like yours that help set the standard by which others should try to strive for---Like I said I do not get much chance to write a review---but when I see a story that stand out I just have to take the time
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2006 |
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as usual lex, you have done it again, can't wait to read more (9/10)
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- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jun 13, 2006)
- Glad you are enjoying this little story so far. There will be more very shortly. In case you're wondering, the inspiration for this one came from the Northwestern University women's soccer hazing expose' and the Duke lacross fiasco.
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