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The Game show
Author: Blackstar
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(Added on Jun 26, 2006)
(This month 37381 readers) (Total 79790 readers) |
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Watched a TV Game Show recently and found them repetitive and insipid. Where’s the excitement in a contestant answering a question and winning loads of money. However, if she was in jeopardy of sexual abuse, rape and death if she failed then it might be more stimulating |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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| 11% |
11% |
0% |
22% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
IDCrewDawg
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 25, 2007 |
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Good detail, but too indepth before the story really began. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
dorothystrangelove
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 22, 2007 |
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This is a long piece of fiction and while the story is highly imaginative and has much interesting content, it seems to be a bit like a firework, one idea shooting off into so many others that they all blur together. If you want to improve on this I would suggest condensing ideas and structuring each idea around one solid plot, and taking more time on building the plot and paying attention to grammar. But it is an unusual piece of work and very readable. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
annamk1977
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 8, 2007 |
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Dunno about the Cortez story but one always refers to other ideas if one has read many stories befor. I love the story and the setting even though I had wished another choice for the victim. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
blackstar666
(Edit) (Nov 3, 2007)
- send us a email and I will try to oblige
blackstar
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| Reviewer:
shyloch46
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 13, 2006 |
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Love the idea. You are good in working out the details of your fantasy. And I like it that you share it with me. Thanks, and keep up the good work. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 4, 2006 |
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Yup, it's not original all right, and it's a fine display of what happens when you don't pay attention in English class. There are so MANY grammatical errors, capitalizations of things which should not be, etc, etc, that the story is well nigh unreadable to anyone literate.
A) get yourself an editor, Blackstar.
B) redo the story, after rereading the Cortez tale. You'll get some fine lessons in the possibilities of a tale well-told.
You have some original ideas here and there, but they are lost in the grammar errors. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
bdanials
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 28, 2006 |
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Good story idea, however, the implementation needs some tuning. I agree that the grammar is poor. I also think dividing the story up into smaller chapters may be a good idea. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 27, 2006 |
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great idea not a real good story (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Sennia
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 27, 2006 |
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I've not read 'African Torture' which barbod mentioned... however, on its own, I must say that I absolutely loved it.
The grammar was certainly bad, but the sheer quantity and vivid descriptions certainly made up for it. I have a thing for game shows, and extreme risk/reward gambles in general, so this story was hot to the max.
Grammar aside, it was if all the scenes were playing out in erotic colour in my imagination anyway, and it definitely painted some of my most favourite BDSM story scenes! This is truly quantity over quality, yet I'm still wanting more! I'd totally recommend it. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
barbod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 27, 2006 |
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Some of this story is blatant plagarism of Cortez's 'African Torture' If you are going to write a story - do your own work and not 'copy and paste' another persons story! (1/10)
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