|
|
|
|
|
Sisters' Wimp
Author: rolf palsy
|
| |
(Added on Oct 13, 2006)
(This month 152424 readers) (Total 258059 readers) |
| |
Too much of a good thing sends a newly wed husband down the slippery slope leading to his transmission into part pussy slave and all wimp |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
20% |
0% |
20% |
0% |
0% |
20% |
20% |
20% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
schoolboylv
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 23, 2007 |
| |
This is not a well written story. It is very poorly constructed and not realistic at all.
The biggest issue though is that it is difficult to read because the author does not understand how to use quotations. Quotes should be a paragraph all by themselves, not thrown in the middle of large paragraphs. (2/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
rolf palsy
(Edit) (Dec 23, 2007)
- I'll give you the quotation criticism, it's never been something I truly understood. Realistic, no it's not supposed to be, that's why it's posted on this site. This scribbler makes no claim to grammatical perfection, but your observations are just a bit harsh in my opinion. But this is still a free country, so you can have them, for whatever good they do either you or me. By the way a rating of two is usually reserved for people who write in crayon and claim English as a second language. Now that is downright insulting and in another time, my second would be speaking to your second about where your body was to be sent. (LOL) Despite your attempts to find my stocking so you can put a lump of coal in it, all the best in whatever you plan to do for the upcoming year.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Apr 8, 2008)
- This is an amazingly asinine and unfair review. Rolf, you seem to attract the properly ridiculous. It may be time for you to change your cologne.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 31, 2007 |
| |
Rolf, I don't like your story subject matter. Never have, really. It's the reason I have never reviewed one of your stories - I also don't read them through, generally speaking. Alas, since I have read bits and pieces, I thought it only fair that I give one of your stories an honest try. Here is what I have to say about this story: Overall, this was well written. The story seems to be fairly well conceived and you twist it well. I know this guy - the pussy whipped schlub who can't stand up for himself - or maybe he needs this sort of situation to feel right. The reason you received a "7" and not more was due, almost entirely, to technical gaffes. There were quite a few run on sentences and a lack of commas where they should be placed. These technical troubles made the reading a bit halting for me. Based on this story, I can see you have a solid knack for story telling and your style is not displeasing. Frankly, with a few edits I think this story might be a 9 or 10. (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
rolf palsy
(Edit) (Aug 1, 2007)
- I am truly astonished that you would devote the time and energy to review any of my stories, since as you admit, they are not your cup of tea. This is an excellent review and I believe most authors would kill for one similar. To be honest I write this type of story for sheer entertainment, nothing more. However, as you point out, I'm a bit sloppy when it comes to disciplining my material (commas, run-on sentences and the like), but not my characters I might add. All my material deserves the same degree of consideration and attention, a lesson learned from your review. Be advised, your words have been taken to heart.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
topsfrombottom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2006 |
| |
Okay - ya have me hooked... Now can HARDly wait to see these two vixens train this boy into his (every male's!) 'proper place'... Hurry up, yeah?? ~nudge~
Excellent work, btw.. :)
tfb.. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
rolf palsy
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2006)
- Your positive review and very generous rating are very much appreciated. More of this story will be hitting the streets in early 2007.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 11, 2006 |
| |
Interesting story of this guy facing the 2 women! (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
rolf palsy
(Edit) (Dec 11, 2006)
- Your rating and comments are much appreciated. More of this story will follow shortly.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
azrlg17
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 10, 2006 |
| |
Only the first 2 chapters online but I don't see how they will transform him if he knows what they plan. There is no reason why he shouldn't confront them. There is no motivation for the wife or sister to do this. How does she turn the tables when he wants to fuck her? Why doesn't he simply insist or leave when he finds out. His reaction on hearing the treachery is lame and unrealistic and unbelievable. The whole story seems to be constructed with one goal in mind regardless of how real people would react. (4/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
rolf palsy
(Edit) (Dec 11, 2006)
- Most writers are happy to get any type of review; I'm not in that category,so I won't thank you for your ineffectual critique. Let me clue you into the fact that this site is devoted to "fantasy". I would wager that over ninety percent of the stories posted here fall into that category. We write "fiction"! Evidently you did not bother to read either the title or the synopsis that was provided. A wimp is a weak, ineffectual, timid person. So why are you expecting the wimp to act in any way other than he does? The wimp is pussy whipped,that is obvious. I've met the type in the real world,but that's not where my stories take place. He takes what he can get and is happy in his misery. In this case he has bitten off more than he can possibly chew and will suffer the consequences for this in later chapters. It's not realistic, but it is consistent given the type of character I am working with. I'd urge you to take what I have said and bear it in mind the next time you go off on one of your wordy reviews that castigate the author for not being "realistic",which appears to be just a code word for not writing the story you wanted written. Alas, in the fantasy world almost anything is both fair and unfair, live with it!
|
|
|
About 