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The Christmas Present
Author: Emma Kah
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(Added on Nov 17, 2006)
(This month 11281 readers) (Total 29119 readers) |
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Sapphic love for the holidays turns violent |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Tigrok
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 4, 2006 |
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Well Written Story, But wow the ending Shocked me :-), Not for the faint of Heart. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
JonMaddux
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 18, 2006 |
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I agree with the badger, the transitions were a little rough. I personally like a lot more description of the players, if the story is meant to arouse someone they need to be able to build a mental image of the people in it. The more i can visualize the players the more into the story i get. It wasnt bad over all. And please dont think i am some sort of professional author to begin with these are just my observations mixed with my personal taste. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
ElectricBadger
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 18, 2006 |
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Good story and writing; it was a harsh transition from the fairly tame lesbian scene to the rape, and that could use a lot more embellishment, and a bit more build up to the finale (which came as a bit random to me) but it's a really good first version. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
azrlg17
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 18, 2006 |
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The story code is wrong. Instead of F/mf it should be M/f+. It also doesn't have much humiliation in it.
The author chose a perspective where you knew the thoughts of both women. With a perspective like that I don't think you can have a surprise ending like the story had.
Spoilers ahead:
I also think a cop would think of a way with less risk to get a victim. If his wife was seen by anybody taking her away they become immediate suspects. And he left his DNA in her. (4/10)
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