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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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| 1 |
2 |
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| 0% |
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44% |
11% |
33% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (4.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2009 |
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It's not a bad tale but its very hard to read, try double line spacing the paragraphs, no indent single line space the lines within paragraphs and shortening your lines by about six or so characters. I guess reading and re reading and re editing the text would maybe help (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2009 |
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Two years after the last posting, a chapter was added, but the errors are even worse than in the first two installments.
Beneath these shambles is a fairly routine story somewhere, but it's hard to continue reading because of all the spelling/syntax mistakes...
JJ (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Pottygirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 23, 2007 |
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A very good storyline, waiting for more juice (mine) with the next installment. I agree with the rest of the comments here about the presentation. I'll adjust the score later if those points are addressed. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
ThisGirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 22, 2007 |
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I like the fast pace of the story- i felt breezed along just as Sandra was whisked up by the captor. The suspense is built up well and i am curious to see what sadistic and torturous events sandra will have to endure.
I gave a 6 because the lack of paragraph breaks and certain punctuation made it sometimes difficult to follow.
Overall, I enjoyed it and I look forward to the 2nd part.
(6/10)
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| Reviewer:
cala
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 21, 2007 |
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Follow H Dean's suggestions. Your writing does show spirit and enthusiasm, so please, spend some time learning how to polish and present your ideas. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
DeGrinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 21, 2007 |
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H Dean said it all before I got here. One thing to add; after you post a story go to it and read it as it's posted, if it's a mess fix it. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 21, 2007 |
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The story line was fairly typical. That doesn't mean it is a bad story line; just typical. Unfortunately, the mistakes bogged this story down severely. Words were left out of sentences, leaving the reader to fill in the blanks and the presentation was ordinary, at best. Technically, this story was also quite the mess. I understand that this is your first attempt, and we all have to start somewhere, but it appears that it was more than inexperience at play here. First, a simple spell check routine would have fixed a lot of the mistakes. Second, a decent proof reading would have provided even more help. Frankly, it appears as if you were in too much of a hurry to give your story a proper treatment.
A bit of advice; edit your work and then edit it again. Also, don't try to get too much into a single sentence. Finally, don't hurry.
You asked for the reviewers to go easy since this was your first story. So, have enough respect for your readers to give them a product that is worthy of their read.
**If you want to learn more about writing you can join the writers block in the forums. There is a lot of help to be found there. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
tbear4759
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 20, 2007 |
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using spell check would be a great help to you in the future (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 20, 2007 |
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not bad for a first story, but a couple suggestioons, your font size is to big and unless it happened when posting the spacing and paragraphs are not inline meaning 1 comletesetnece the n the next is ony a few words then a full noe
(5/10)
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