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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (4.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 28, 2007 |
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The idea of this story may prove to be fun in the long run. Unfortunately, the presentation was not good. As other reviewers noted, there are a lot of spelling gaffes in this story. These were not the problem so much as the style of writing and terrible punctuation. It is this that garnered the "3 Barely acceptable grammar" in my review score.
**Please, take a little more time with your stories. This one appears to have been written out and published the same day and without any edits. That always leads to disaster.
**Write shorter sentences. Drawing out a sentence with commas is not necessary and leads to run on sentences that are completely annoying to read.
**Refrain from phrases like "they were all jealous of her" or "Collage was all chaotic". Adding the "all" is poor form and makes you sound as if you are a 16 year old.
**Finally, do use a spell check routine. The repeated spelling gaffes make the reader pay attention to the mistakes and not the story. You don't want that.
***Check out the forums. There is a "writers block" where you can get help with your writing, from top to bottom. I suspect you would find a good release for the ideas in your head. Most important, you will learn how to present them much better. Good luck. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
smokey1957
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 28, 2007 |
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well here is a more positive review i lked the story so far and i wpold like to read more. Some people do not knw the english languages well because it is not their native language so i do not care much about the spelling just keep on writing more (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Rocky
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 28, 2007 |
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I didn't get past the first two paragraphs, to be honest. I'm not sure even a spekk checker would work, and any human proofreader would certainly need a handful of aspirin to deal with the headache from trying to read it. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Yaps
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 28, 2007 |
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I like the idea of the story, but the spelling is quite awful.
It might be a good idea to have someone proofread your story, and take care not to blindly accept the first option an automated spelling checker suggests. (lots of 'new' where 'knew' was meant) (4/10)
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