|
|
|
|
|
Obnoxious Housemate
Author: Clever Nick
|
| |
(Added on May 8, 2007)
(This month 81078 readers) (Total 161810 readers) |
| |
I get my revenge one day on an obnoxious, bible-thumping housemate. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 22 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
14% |
55% |
32% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
hart_mut4711
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 18, 2008 |
| |
10/10. Nothing to add. (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
jep33
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 25, 2008 |
| |
Well, this is a good one. The flow is excellent, no boring parts, just enough erotic parts. I have written a few myself and I am in awe when I read someone who writes so much better than I. Well done. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Jul 2, 2008)
- Thanks for the compliments! The book is finished and published at bdsmbooks.com if you like it.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
hotblackchick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 11, 2008 |
| |
This was an excellent story. I loved the flow and the character development was entirely believeable. So well written that I didn't even see the end coming! (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Jan 11, 2008)
- Thanks for the very complimentary review!
The story doesn't end there, it continues for another 10 chapters or so. But a publisher actually went and published the full version, so I can't print it all free here. You can find the published book, "From Zealot to Harlot" on http://www.bdsmbooks.com/emailssent/072707.htm
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Nemz
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 1, 2008 |
| |
Finally finished reading what you have posted. Honestly wish I would have done so months ago. I truly loved the plot, and can't help hoping that I might some day land in Simon's position. Very good job. Can't wait for more of your work. I'll more then likely be buying your book, though I'd rather buy it in actual paper form. Thanks for also fixing the formatting issues your originally had. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Jan 2, 2008)
- Thank you so much, Nemz!
Some good news -- bdsmbooks.com has offered to print and sell a few copies of this on paper, so I can actually sell it that way. If that happens, it will be on their paperbacks page http://www.bdsmbooks.com/paperbacks/bondagebooks.htm
The plot gets even more interesting in the last bit...
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
obeisant
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 21, 2007 |
| |
Because it's so Clever! (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Sep 2, 2007)
- Thanks! I like to think it's just fun.
Sadly, since moderator Rabbit1 passed away last week, I'm unable to update the story further here.
The ending to the story (and several expanded chapters) are in the published e-book version "From Zealot to Harlot", on the bdsmbooks website.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bbwsfslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 16, 2007 |
| |
Very creative and left me wondering what was going to happen next! I'm going to check out your book. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Aug 17, 2007)
- Thank you!
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bmtphoenix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 13, 2007 |
| |
Excellent job! You should add nc to the story codes since that is how it starts... (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Jan 2, 2008)
- Yes, that's true. Though it's more "forced consensus" than actual "nonconsensual".
And the rest of the story is all consensual. So those who tuned in looking for a rape story would be disappointed and bored by chap. 3 and onward.
I think on the whole "reluctant" is a better code.
Also, it's very difficult to update chapters (or codes) on this site, but my updated, published version is more sympathetic to the narrator, and leaves more room for the possibility that there was a consensus from the start.
Thanks for the good review!
Pointers to the updated and completed e-book version (from Zealot to Harlot) if you scroll down a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 27, 2007 |
| |
Ever meet that extremely annoying someone who just made you want to…This is an extraordinarily well written story of utter humiliation; told with a refreshingly brisk sense of imagination with just the right touch of dark humor. The protagonists are as quirky as any whom mighty ever grace the page but you cannot help but recognize at least someone from your past. The most amazing part of this story is it’s so believable. In the end I was cheering them both on, for they truly do deserve each other. Ah the humanity!! (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Aug 10, 2007)
- Thank you Mad Lews! This is a great honour. You're one of the authors who has inspired me, and one of my favorites on this site.
-------------
For readers wanting more: This story has been brought up to professional standard and completed as the novella "From Zealot to Harlot". It's now available to buy on a nearby reputable site. Look on bdsmbooks dot com.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 26, 2007 |
| |
Having just now seen this tale I read it. A couple months after it was put up, but I did it. Quite good. The perspective and the language lent itself to an easy read. More importantly, this was the sort of story that many of us are familiar with; an annoying living mate who is good looking enough to fuck. Sure, we fantasize about what we would like to do, but never do it. This guy did.
**On a personal note, I am an atheist who has been abused and chastised by theists for many years. I hold up well, so I am not complaining. But Jesus going up her ass was particularly appealing. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Jul 26, 2007)
- Thank you, H Dean! Such a rating from an author of your reputation is a great compliment!
A note that the rest of story has now been published as "From Zealot to Harlot" on a reputable bdsm publishing site.
I hope all 28900 people who read it, will buy it! :D
Anyone who can't find it online is very welcome to email me, but rules here forbid me from linking.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2007 |
| |
great concept and idea (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
suetc
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2007 |
| |
Excellent story line, Easy to read. stimulating with a touch of humor. Keep up the good work, i look forward to the next chapter (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Aug 3, 2007)
- Thanks! I've added an extension to chap 5 instead for now.
Hope you like!
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
zastem
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2007 |
| |
Excellent style. Easy to read, and enjoyable.
If anything, I'm a little incredulous that Lynn would "convert" so quickly, but I assume that's all to be explored. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (May 30, 2007)
- Yes, it is kind of hard to believe, and the narrator comments on it too, more than once.
It is indeed explored in chapters 6, 7, and 12, and Lynn's own motivations get teased out gradually.
Thanks so much!
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Aug 3, 2007)
- ...And these problems are now addressed in the new published version.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
anonymouse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 28, 2007 |
| |
Hi Clevernick,
Your style of writing is highly readable. It has a nice balance of humor and seriousness combined in a narrative that flows easily. The only thing holding back a higher rating is one or two thematic things that make me feel uncomfortable. That's just me. As a writer, you're right on the money! (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
tessa
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 27, 2007 |
| |
A delightful story...well, delightful in that nasty, erotic way. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
faust82
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 21, 2007 |
| |
This is simply brilliant. Style, perspective, intensity, everything is just right. I love your ideas, especially Panty Patrol was a good touch.
Can't wait to get my grubby hands on another part of your story. The first three chapters leaves me thinking this could be one of the best stories I've ever had the pleasure of reading. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
ElectricBadger
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 19, 2007 |
| |
Excellent stuff, really well written and imaginative. Keep up the good work! (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Beswitchingly Positive
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 15, 2007 |
| |
Nicely done. I know we are not supposed to comment on subject matter and personal taste, but I have to say, I LOVE the idea of shoving Jesus up some God Sqaud member's ass!
Your style is very natural and the flow is very captivating. You are sound in your writing skills and first person view point. It is interesting to me to be shown so much of the man's point of view.
Panty patrol was a good idea! I have to tell you, this part was pretty convincingly written and quite a turn on! Good stuff, please send more.
BP (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
cheapskate
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 14, 2007 |
| |
Great story - very enjoyable. I like the realism which is enhanced by the good detail. Makes it more believable. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Arcege
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2007 |
| |
Nice story. I can very much relate to the guy. I had to spend a weekend in a tent with one of these girls (long story). Very imaginative approach.
Would like to "see" more of the victim's range of emotions. We don't see much beyond her "anger" and a little fear". Didn't see much of her humiliation or arousal in her eyes or face. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (May 28, 2007)
- I've rewritten Chapter 1 to see the victims emotions better. It's hotter, but a little longer, and I've had to split it into 2 chapters.
Thanks for that feedback!
Someday maybe it will be published.
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Sep 2, 2007)
- Nice criticism! Thanks for that. Looking it over I can see that the reactions are sometimes missing, and I'll be sure to fix that in future chapters (I've written 11 so far, but there's always room for editing.)
Though the story's not true, the house and the girl (and all the housemates) did exist exactly as described. I guess that helps make it easier to relate to. :D
Note: I posted part 2 before editing with this review in mind. Forgive me, and I promise more range of emotions for Lynn in part three.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2007 |
| |
I would like to read how the next 4 weeks go! I hope she screws up (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Tcheena3
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 9, 2007 |
| |
Wow, very clever, Nick. Imaginative, well-written, thought provoking. Hope you're planning on giving us details of the month's affair? (9/10)
|
|
|
About 