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Shameful Desires
Author: kandye
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(Added on Jun 26, 2007)
(This month 9846 readers) (Total 15678 readers) |
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She knew she shouldn't go there. She couldn't stop herself. He knew what she craved. He was more than willing to give it to her |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
ThisYouWillDo
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 27, 2007 |
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Very enjoyable story and an improvement upon Enslaved (which I also enjoyed). I liked the challenging beginning, and it would have been interesting if you had written the whole story in that voice. In my mind, there's NOTHING wrong with using the second person, but the first part you are much more "in your face," and defiant - (ok - you had me, you humiliated me, but you didn't win, because that's what I wanted. I coped with everything you did to me!) while the second part was simply recollecting the events as they happened and you became a passive participant. You could have described your submission as something you actively gave, not as something he took from you.
Thanks for an enjoyable read.
TYWD (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 27, 2007 |
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First, please use the story discriptors so potential readers can choose your tale!
Second, I really, really, really HATE stories written in the second person. (you did this, you do that).
Third, This is a really good little story! Second person fits, and you've made it work and kept the flow of the story moving. Bravo! Not badly written, literate and (although a plot that is overused) interesting. Good Job, hope there is more. (7/10)
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