|
|
|
|
|
DEEP AFRICAN HELL - NO RETURN
Author: Louis Cypher
|
| |
(Added on Apr 27, 2008)
(This month 17650 readers) (Total 46049 readers) |
| |
A white couple travelling through Africa. An improvised route, an unexpected destination: HELL. An American woman, mother of two, kidnapped, enslaved. Abandoned in negro hands.. in the gloomy, lawless suburbs of Lagos, Nigeria. A man's quest to free his partner. A perverted spiral of transformation, blackmail, submission and betrayal. With no holds barred, a white woman's worst nightmare is just about to come true.. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
50% |
0% |
17% |
17% |
0% |
17% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
yosaure
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2009 |
| |
Will you finish the story? (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bubba
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 7, 2008 |
| |
I'm actually rating this based on how i saw where the story is heading (screenplay format). I really like the story premise and the descriptive approach taken by the author, that said, I think the nonscreen play format is better for most readers (myself included). (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 30, 2008 |
| |
Like the others before who have commented, your writing is great ... very fluid, it flows nicely. That being said, where's the fucking? LOL (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
kemosabe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 30, 2008 |
| |
A romance novel on BDSM Library? I've seen it all now! (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 30, 2008 |
| |
As mentioned earlier a nice premise, a good writing style a fine idea. Yes it's starting slow but you can build on that, horror stories often start slow and just keep getting worse. My only suggestion would be the formatting of dialog. When a new person speaks, or responds it should start a new paragraph. (http://mrbraiman.home.att.net/page13.html) .
That way it's easier to follow who said what to whom. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Maestropretoriano
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 29, 2008 |
| |
The settings of this story sounds promising, and the writing style is fluent and easy to read, nice rythm..... but, in this very first chapter there is no action at all, just the initial presentation of the characters and the general set-point for the story. I will keep an eye on future chapters, and I'm almost completely sure they will be really great to read. (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
whiplash2003653
(Edit) (May 4, 2008)
- I like , as many others am sure, a slow "building" of the story.
Agree with that of separating paragraphs. Peoiple speaks that way. Why not writing in the same way ?
As per the rest of the story, let`s hope next chapters will come soon.
And once we see the whole story develop we will bea ble to say something more. But to begin with, it`s OK.
J.
|
|
|
About 