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Secretes
Author: Miss Kay
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(Added on May 14, 2008)
(This month 12338 readers) (Total 19131 readers) |
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If he thinks she isn't goingt o cum tonight he is sadly mistaken. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
slvWriting
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2008 |
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The story and premise is good, but the writing skills are not there. You mix past and present tenses, don't use punctuation (especially commas), make long sentences repeating the word "and" all the time instead of placing commas and periods. You also need to improve your use of paragraphs, the last one is just a big block of text. I would have given this less than a 5, but I truly want to encourage you to improve it, if the story was properly written it could easily get a 7 or 8 from me. (5/10)
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