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Candice
Author: Slutbean
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(Added on Feb 7, 2010)
(This month 11419 readers) (Total 26074 readers) |
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Candice is kidnapped and punished |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (4/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
grinner666
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 8, 2010 |
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Looks as though the author left a huge chunk of story out of what was finally submitted. The first two "chapters," while hardly original and in dire need of proofreading, aren't terrible ... again, nothing special but not bad. Then there's this huge, blank, white space in the page, and suddenly we're in a completely different scene with no explanation of how we got there or what the hell is going on. If that's what the author MEANT to do, then he's got a lot to learn about storytelling. If not, well ... he should be more careful about what he's submitting. (4/10)
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