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Family Justice
Author: Ty_M_Goode
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(Added on Apr 22, 2010)
(This month 25681 readers) (Total 42585 readers) |
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Nicole thought she'd gotten away with the murder of her wealthy husband. Unfortunately, her lover (and dead husband's brother) has devised a punishment fitting of her crime. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 14, 2012 |
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A BDSM-Noir style of story which has you riveted to the screen from start to, well, where it momentarily stops.
Writing is top-notch, with some mafia type suits dealing some revenge in a most thorough but sinister way.
Would I give Nicole a second chance? Sure. As long as Ty M Goode profusely elaborates on her new start.
JJ (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
sockslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2010 |
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Very good descriptions of the bondage and how it might feel. I liked that you gave enough background to understand why she deserved what was happening, but didn't go overboard with too much preliminary stuff. I think that you should let her live, but punish her a bit more. Good writing style. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
sirbor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2010 |
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I must say that I enjoyed the story and I found it well written. As for my vote for her future. I would not kill her at this time. I would find it more enjoyable to play with her for a while. The noose should release as she falls unconscious, the inserts in her lower orifices could also have sensors and release her to fall to the floor. Let her wake, still in her bonds, and then slowly released until the probes an be removed and she can provide release for her captors. Then change he tie and bring her to the brink of death again, maybe this time in water. As she entertains the men she is attempting to ern her reward, to live out the rest of her life as a dollar whore at a waterfront brothel. Maybe she earns the whorehouse and maybe she doesn't but we will have several more chapters of her suffering. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
jfpatton
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 12, 2010 |
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I think the story is excellent. Your discriptions of the bondage is right on target. And the gagging is great. If you want to continue the story, I hope, You should like make her a permanent slave or maybe a conspiritor with her boyfriend in murder. Please don't kill her I hate snuff. J Patton (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
CrazedDog
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
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Great story - almost to quick to the Epilog. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
EllVee
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 2, 2010 |
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Very nice start. Intermediate score in my book:
* Language: 5/5 (professional grade I would say - but what do I know about english...)
* Imaginativeness: 3/5 (so far relatively standard - this is not really a bad thing (in a certain way sex is always the same as well), but means less points on the imaginativeness scale)
* Plausibility: 4/5 (I'm not a doctor, but I wonder if the human skin can take all these ties without tearing)
* Plot: ?/5
* Congruence with my tastes: 4/5 (depends on where it will lead to)
** Overall: 4/5
Btw: Nice to see that you still posting free stories (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 2, 2010 |
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Um....why did you stop there? First of all, I really liked this story. The plot concept was entertaining, the writing was pretty good, the descriptions of action were excellent, and things moved along nicely, building sexual tension. Then it all ended. And I mean all of it. The sexual tension, the plot movement, the story arc, and yes...even the story. I was so totally there, totally wrapped up in the story, waiting, just waiting with giddy excitement for the moment Dominic plugged those incredible toys in! Everything was building up to that! That was going to be the climax! Dude! I was hard! Then it all went away. Maybe the author intends this to be a serial. Sigh. *** Serials are practically the worst understood forms of story presentation. Basically what you are doing is writing episodic fiction. While all of the episodes contribute to an overall story arc and plot with it's own separate climax, each individual episode needs to be a complete story in and of itself. Each "chapter" or "serial" or "episode" needs to have a sub-plot with it's own arc and its own semi-climax. Look at the television show 24. Great example. Each episode, despite being part of the big picture is a complete little story, with tension building, story arc and even a climax or cliff-hanger at the end. And it moves along the over reaching arc of the entire season. Serials are like that. If this story is a serial, then a complete half of the first episode is frickin missing. *** Like I said, descriptions were excellent, especially of action and Nikki's bondage. I could picture it in my mind. I want to point out something really clever done by the author. He could have spent a lot of time describing Nikki's house and what it looked like and blah blah blah. Instead, he described Nikki, and not just physically. I pictured in my mind the perfect trophy wife, beautiful, blonde, buxom, and very rich. Marble entrance way? I don't need to have the house described. I KNOW what it looks like. This was fantastic. The author didn't described the goons either. He titled them as goons, thugs. I didn't need descriptions of them. Big, a little stupid, muscled, same suit, same tie, and probably the same semi-automatic in a shoulder holster for both of them. Ah...I love stereotyping! Anyway, both of these (anti) description methods were used perfectly TO FOCUS the attention back on Nikki and sort of on Dominic. The goons are as much a prop as the wire and the plugs.
***I'd have given this a higher rating if the ending had been there. The entire foundation for a higher rating is right there. Even most of the house has been built. It's just missing the roof. Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Ty_M_Goode
(Edit) (May 2, 2010)
- Michael247,
Thanks. Now THAT was a review. Although I do appreciate the, "Nice story, hope there's more" comments, it doesn't give me much of a glimpse at a reader's likes and dislikes (although, I write what "I" like).
Sorry to have left you hanging, it just worked out that way. However, the epilogue has been submitted and should make the next update. It too, may disappoint. With this story, I'm guilty of knocking out a quickie and posting, for the sake of "knocking out a quickie and posting". I'll try to be more thorough with the other stories yet to be finished on the board.
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (May 5, 2010)
- Mr Goode, I'm glad you liked the review. I am in total agreement with you as to the usefulness of "Great story, write a sequel" statement. I myself love constructive criticism. As an afterthought, I wanted to point out that I am a major proponent of scene/character descriptors, so I can't emphasize enough how brilliant I thought your "anti-descriptions" were. I'm usually pretty hard on authors who don't describe scenes or characters, frequently lecturing about how they have to be the prop manager, the costume designer, and set builder as well as the screenwriter and director. You just did this one especially well. Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
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