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For the sake of the tourism
Author: Rotneb
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(Added on May 2, 2010)
(This month 17967 readers) (Total 32991 readers) |
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Susan would like to help her father and the town with a special tourist attraction that will get more tourists to town. Although she is warned she would not understand the full implications to play witch. Susan and four other young naked girls end up as witches at the stake in the beautiful midsummer night. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3/10) |
Average
Rating:  (2.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (4/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Tavy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 7, 2012 |
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At first I was put off by the poor English, but was very glad I persevered because it actually made this story less unbelievable - as it could only be set in a weird very foreign fantasy country. Strangely I ended up really enjoying it. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 14, 2011 |
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Why oh why is there not a lower rating than a one? This is a terrible piece of writing, poor grammar, pov jumps all over the place and that is the good bits! (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 5, 2010 |
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Quit while your behind Rotneb, please don't do part two (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 5, 2010 |
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I'm going to be brutally honest here. I didn't read any more than about two scroll downs worth of this story. The formatting is just to difficult to handle. There are random changes in tense and POV, and the author decided to ignore standard punctuation in favor of some strange method of delineating dialog from description and action. There are no paragraphs. Speakers are not identified and the whole thing takes an awful amount of brain power to actually translate what the author means into something understandable. This is a shame too, because I love stories like this. My best recommendation to the author is to reformat the story in standard English and add enough descriptors to the dialog so that readers can understand what is going on.
*** Another possibility: rewrite it as a screenplay. It might give you the necessary structure to make the story work without major revision. You just have to go back through it and identify roles. Good luck. Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (3/10)
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- Replied by:
Major Littmann
(Edit) (May 5, 2010)
- It is unfair to review a piece on a perfunctory reading of s few paeagraphs, much of the charm od Rotnebs work comes from the awfulness of his formatting and tense, and a full and proper analysis would reveal that the story is really worth a one out of ten.
I've even seen people re write Rotnebs tales into English so more readers can endure the horrific descriptions of girls happily being killed
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