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Basic Needs
Author: Impressario
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(Added on May 30, 2011)
(This month 25565 readers) (Total 30385 readers) |
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In part 1, a young woman is romanced into becoming a slave, where she joins the beginnings of a slave harem. Years later, in part 2, as an experienced slave, she is trained as a toilet. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
teleya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 8, 2011 |
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The style of jumping to her life 2 years after becoming a slave is disorienting. Also, nowhere do you describe why he wants her to be a toilet slave? Is it the sadistic pleasure of destroying every scinttila of her humanity? Or is it because it's the final step of her total submission?
Also - nowhere do you explain how he gets away with it all. Where are her parents?
Also, why marry her? If its because he wants to humiliate and dominate someone who already trusts him - than shouldn't he wait a year or two before he enslaves her?
But despite the intended)gaping holes - you have talent and imagination. But the trick is to understand that as you are writing you have a certain emotional state of mind - but the reader has no clue from where you are coming unless you tell them.
(7/10)
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