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The Training of Brooke
Author: MastrKink
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(Added on Aug 21, 2011)
(This month 17391 readers) (Total 38162 readers) |
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College girl gets taken to a play party for the first time. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 24, 2011 |
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Rather cute story with a good premise and plot. Good dialogue too (must agree with Michael though, about not mentioning names in conversations between goils, which tends to get confusing indeed).
What had me slamming my desktop (for the umpteenth time) is the use of "hose" for stockings.
If you want to learn the difference, try robbing a bank with a pantyhose pulled over yer face -with the crotchpiece in front of your eyes.
You can write me your findings from prison.
JJ (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 31, 2011 |
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Good characterization with plenty of clear detail, helping the reader to visualise the action. As Michael247 states this story has a decent plot but is let down grammatically. There are 46 instances of words being run into one another (ie: toneinMarica’s). This story could easily have got a nine from me if it had been edited befor posting to this site.
Despite my negative comments i do hope the author will write some more about Brooke and Marcia. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
mastrkink
(Edit) (Aug 31, 2011)
- I feel the need to reply. I have no degree in English so I'm always going to have some grammatical errors since I sometimes write in the manner that people talk. But I went back to check my original copy and the run on words aren't in it. I always proof stories before submitting them in docx format and it's converted to html here. So who knows?
The story idea was submitted by a reader and apparently she does this often to others so don't expect a sequel from me. I'm still glad that readers enjoy it. Thanks.
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 26, 2011 |
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I have the serious feeling that I've read something similar to this before. Brooke is not a usual character name and I seem to recall reading a Brooke story about a slut who went to a car dealership...
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Regardless of whether this is a sequel or a continuation or whatever, what I do know is that this is one of the better Brooke stories. At least of the ones I've read. This one actually had a decent plot instead of the snarky stupid comments of arrogant pig-headed Brooke. That was a pleasant surprise.
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The biggest issue is of course grammatical. Run on sentences are not just par for the course, they're everywhere. Within dialog speakers are frequently not identified, which makes it difficult to follow along. There are a couple of odd or wrong words.
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All that said, the story line is actually kind of fun. We're introduced (or re-introduced) to Brooke, a cock tease who deserves some comeuppance and her friend Marica delivers that by taking Brooke to an S&M party. Brooke is used, abused, and screwed, which was quite nice. Granted, I would have preferred her to be one of the girls being seriously whipped, but perhaps another party will deliver.
(6/10)
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