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Payback
Author: MissDee
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(Added on Sep 11, 2011)
(This month 88628 readers) (Total 113044 readers) |
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A man is drugged and held in his own house against his will. He is used as a slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Rosemary
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 16, 2011 |
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I very much enjoyed how the focus was solely on scat. I am a dominant woman myself, and I love to read about it as well. I thoroughly enjoyed how many times she uses the poor toilet; almost as many times as I do ;)
I would love to see more stories by you. If you need an idea, just send me an email: rosemary42@yahoo.com (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
hisubmission
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2011 |
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Quite a wonderful stroke story for a scat fetishist! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
wistan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 12, 2011 |
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Something of a mixed bag, this.
On the plus side, if you are into scat then this is the goldmine of all time for you. Once the first couple of paragraphs are out of the way the entire rest of the story is essentially nothing but one scat scene after another.
I do love the way this starts out... the author paints the woman as a stalker, somebody who is frankly deranged and determined to punish her victim for the sin of not noticing her. It's a clever way to shortcut the usual "how we met and got to a place where we're doing kinky things" part of the story, and it also serves the female character quite well, because by making her this kind of person we know immediately what her motivations are and get the suspense of wondering just how far an unbalanced person might go.
Personally I rather like abduction stories and unwilling male victims of females who are utterly ruthless and without mercy, so I absolutely love the female character from that angle, too.
On the downside... the constant switches in perspective are a little confusing. It would help this story a good deal if you put some sort of marker in when that happened, a line of **** or something. Or maybe used a different font for him and her. Whatever, when you are going to change point of view every couple of paragraphs it needs something to distinguish the two voices.
A minor thing, but she seems to be completely denying this guy food and water other than what he consumes from her body. If you did that for real he'd be dead quite quickly. I get that realism isn't necessarily the priority here, but after establishing such a credible beginning this jarred at me a little.
The other thing that jarred is that the mechanics of his captivity are a bit implausible. She takes an unwilling captive on a car ride and sticks him in her hotel room. The author notes that there are child proof locks on the car doors so he can't run off... what stops him just attacking her in the car? How does she get him into the hotel room? Does she just carry him through the lobby in front of everybody? He'd only have to shout out to end his captivity. Perhaps a better idea would be to put this scene at the end and have it mark the fact that he's accepted his role and is now a willing victim?
All in all a good effort, and I quite enjoyed it despite a few flaws. (7/10)
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