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The Slave Within
Author: Mermaid Master
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(Added on Dec 26, 2011)
(This month 16102 readers) (Total 28543 readers) |
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An alternate universe in which women are subject to plete control by men. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
zenoida
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 29, 2011 |
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This short story could definitely do with some proof reading and even some partial rewriting. It contradicts it self in several places, and it repeats it self even more often. The text is also very dense and hard to read. But I love the plot, and in spite of having a sense of not being worked through very well, it manages to bring across the authors intention of a romantic, thoroughly felt bdsm story. For that, I think it still deserves 8 stars. I am looking forward to the next story (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 28, 2011 |
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While the premise of "The Slave Within" has all the potential of becoming as trodden as the Long Island Expressway in the vicinity of Flushing Meadows Corona Park, Mermaid Master instead whips out a magic wand and delights us with a fascinating start to what -almost sure- will become a rollercoaster ride: up for the reader, all the way down for our dear Sierra.
I haven't quite figured out what exactly it is that Mermaid Master does, because I've read starts like this hundreds of times before, yet -like I said- there's something here which makes it all plausible, natural and attractive instead of flat, tepid and overused.
Hey, maybe Mermaid Master is simply a very good writer...
Must have a go at "A Darker Universe", since I seem to have overlooked that story.
Great stuff.
JJ (9/10)
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