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Cheater Trapped and Tortured
Author: Darkroom
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(Added on Apr 22, 2012)
(This month 41998 readers) (Total 67095 readers) |
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Two men played by the same cock-teasing whore team up for the ultimate payback. Stretched and spread, the poor tease is driven mad by their focused and sadistic assault. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
devot_und_geil
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 1, 2012 |
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Just great, one of the best stories I have read recently! Very nice idea what she has to endure, not as cruel as in many other stories. I hope to read more by Darkroom. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 24, 2012 |
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Damn. I'm hard now. Fucking bitch... she TEASED ME!
...
"Cheater Trapped and Tortured" by Darkroom is one of those perfect little shorts that are designed to whet your appetite. The slow torment inflicted upon Merida, our darling protagonist (or as some would view her, our antagonist!) is neither extreme nor outlandish, and is only cruel in its seemingly never-ending consistency. It's diabolical and I loved it. Reminded me of some of Breanne Erickson's stuff.
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First of all, let me offer kudos to the author for his use of present tense. Writing in present tense is one of the hardest forms for authors to accomplish. That Darkroom was able to pull it off with decency speaks volumes for his writing capability. Dialog and action are used in balance to move along the plot and these too are done well.
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There are only two areas where the author could improve. First of all, enhanced descriptions would be beneficial. The author paints a decent picture of the action and emotional state of the characters, but the environment and Merida's later reaction to the non-stop torment never moves past the silent screeches stage. Describing the room, the bed, the red marks on her wrists from the cuffs, the strain in her thighs - even going so far as to add her perspective, would greatly enhance the tale. The second suggestion would be for the author to add more compound sentences. Darkroom tends to write in simple sentences, which while being grammatically correct, lend a slight air of choppiness or "abruptness" to the overall feel. A compound sentence increase the perceived "depth" of a tale and will actually encourage additional description - a definite win.
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All in all though, "Cheater Trapped and Tortured" was a fantastic read and certainly enough to get a man hard as a rock. I think I'll go find my own personal Merida and tie her to the bed. Not sure I can spend twenty four hours clit tickling her though. I might just do it for twenty and then screw her brains out!
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
greatbossman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 23, 2012 |
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Great start without too much extreme torture. Long slow endurance is the name of the game. Can't wait for next installment (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Ingwit
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 23, 2012 |
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great (10/10)
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