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First Meeting
Author: KinkyLittleFatGirl
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(Added on Jul 21, 2012)
(This month 15419 readers) (Total 21075 readers) |
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After months of talking online, they finally get their first meeting where he reminds her of her place. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 22, 2012 |
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First person present tense is a pet hate of mmine because it doesn't work, basically. The Synopsis is third person and had it been first person present tense iI wouldn't have read it.
Even as a fantasy it doesn't work, the transition to calling "Me" a "Fucking Bitch" is too abrupt, in fact I think any story containing the phrase "Fucking Bith" shoukd automatically be awarded a maximum of a 3, but all in all a waste of valuable reading time. Sory, you wanted honesty?
No? Tough. Bitch. This is BDSM and I'mno masochist. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
KinkyLittleFatGirl
(Edit) (Jul 22, 2012)
- And had you actually given criticism based on the merits of the story itself, I'd gladly accept your critique.
Sometimes a fucking bitch is just a fucking bitch. And you, sir, are a fucking bitch.
- Replied by:
KinkyLittleFatGirl
(Edit) (Jul 22, 2012)
- However, I will give you that the synopsis should have read in the same tense. Gold star for you. I will correct that on the next update.
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