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The Club
Author: Dr White
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(Added on Aug 12, 2012)
(This month 16400 readers) (Total 30111 readers) |
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My first visit to the best strip bar ever! |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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| 1 |
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33% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 17, 2012 |
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Guess I'm the middle of the road medium then. I've read Dr. White's other tale and I was sufficiently happy with it that I was willing to test this one. Oddly enough, my complaints about "The Club" are diametrically at odds with my complaints about "A Lonely Road".
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First of all, the idea of the perfect BDSM Sex Club is not just old, it's been done a zillion times. Hell, my own attempt, "The Silver Locke" is one of my highest selling e-books on Amazon and B&N each month. I really should write a sequel. But just because a concept has been done to death, doesn't mean it can't sing. Things started to go really well with Dr. White's "The Club", only to sink into well rehearsed blandness.
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Where did Dr. White go wrong? Well, he created a brilliant concept with the Club. The ideas and inner workings were well executed. But then it was staffed by boring girls who did nothing but exactly what they were told to. In the main scene we are given a "daddy" fucking scenario where the perfect yes girl calls the "narrator" daddy and goes on to object but not actively resist an anal screwing. Where's the sexual tension in that? If the action itself doesn't provide any incentive to move through the plot, then all you have is the ingredients to a fuckfest story, and frankly there isn't enough of "The Club" to qualify as a fuckfest tale.
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So where does "The Club" go right? Well supposedly the girls are "owned" by the Club. Seriously? That's AWESOME! I would imagine the by-laws of membership prevent anything seriously bad to damage the "goods" but this opens up all sorts of possibilities. Maybe the "narrator" could get tapped to "train" the new acquisitions? Or maybe one of the girls escapes and needs a refresher course on what kind of painful sexual torture can happen to bad girls. Or maybe...
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Like "The Lonely Road," the grammar here wasn't bad at all and demonstrates that Dr. White has the technical capacity to tell a riveting tale. I feel somewhat happy that for a moment, gripping brilliance in creativity blossomed. Next time, I hope that budding flower gets put in a green house and left to bloom.
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 13, 2012 |
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'7' is my default rating, and this effort was a prototypical '7': Not bad, not great, not a waste of my time. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Major Littmann
(Edit) (Aug 15, 2012)
- 5 is my default position so I guess we agree
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 12, 2012 |
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Great if stereotyped vision of a strip club cum brothel, The tale needs padding out with erotic descriptions sir, but I'm sure you enjoyed penning it. (5/10)
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