Join the Group

Join the Group
Chapter 1

	It started as an ordinary day for me I went to check my email and there
was an email from someone called Sub Thomas, I didn't recognize the name that
was for sure. I thought it was spam mail and started to delete it, but something
held me back. I think it was the subject matter that really interested me. It
said Total Servility Midwest sub to serve service worship and obey YOU!

	 I didn't catch the last part; the first part of Total Servility caught
and held me. I was hypnotized by those two little words.  I sat there and
thought about myself being in total servility to somebody. It was electrifying,
my blood started pumping and I couldn't catch my breath.  Did someone know me?
Did someone know my deepest fantasies? Who was it? How could they know my
thoughts and feelings?
	
	I had to open it, even if it contained a virus I had to find out who
knew my desires. I opened it and started to read. I read about half and then I
giggled. It said: i am a very sub, sincere 40 y/o, w/m, generous and seeking to
further my training as a sub/slave cuckold and/or toilet. i humbly beg to serve
service worship and obey YOU as YOU use abuse punish humiliate descipline and
degrade me. i beg for the honor and the opportunity to serve and service YOU. i
can and will travel to serve. Thank YOU for YOUR consideration.  . What a relief
it was just junk mail. Nobody knew my deepest thoughts and feelings.
	
	Then I started to think about this email. How did this person get my
email address?  What group is this? I had to find out. So I clicked the little
address at the bottom of the mail and followed it to this group. I was a member.
Wow!!! That was new news to me.  When did I sign up with this group?  I went to
the member's area and looked up my email address and profile. It said that I
became a member a few months back.  Heck a few months back my friend had my lap
top.  I had to stop and giggle.  It had to be her that signed up. Not realizing
that she signed up my email address when she went through my email account.  I
always knew she was dominant, I just didn't know how dominant she was.
	
	Then I started reading some of the messages and that is when I realized
that this email went to every group member and it wasn't directed at me
personally.  That is when it hit me.  This group was for men looking for
dominate women.  There had to be a group or two that was for men looking for
submissive women.  I had to find that group.  I wanted answers.  And I wanted
them fast.  I have been waiting for ten years for fulfillment and now that I
knew there were others I wanted it.
	
	I wanted to know how to get my man to be more dominant to me.  I wanted
to know how I could get him to tie me up.  I wanted to know how I could get him
to spank me.  I want.  I want.  I want for him to tie me up, whip me, lick me
and make me cum.  I wanted my missionary man to take me, make me, and use that
animal magnetism that was there at the beginning of our marriage.  I want. I
want. I want it all.
	
	So I started my search to fulfillment.  I went to the beginning and
started to look at how these groups were started and how you became a member. 
Then I looked at what types of groups were out there.  That really confused me;
I knew that it had to be under relationships.  I also knew that it had to be
adult.  However, what exactly was I looking for?  That was the question that had
me confused.   Abstinence, not me.  Advice, yes that is what I needed.  BDSM
what's that?  Fetishes?  Fisting you have got to be real.  Games, well I didn't
think it was a game.  Role playing, maybe.  Sex toys, possibility. 
	
	So I clicked the first one advice.  Well went to another window and it
asks if I want to start a group on advice.  Heck if I knew the answer I might,
but I needed advice not the other way around.  Therefore I hit the back button
and then hit BDSM.  Now I am getting somewhere.  I have several options here. 
Bondage, yes.  Caning and Spanking, maybe.  Dominance, well if it is the man
being dominant, then yes.  Erotic stories, if it gets the boat to float why not. 
Facesitting, I know about that already.  Ask me a question I can give you
advice.  Ha ha ha.  Gor what is this?  Pony Boys and Girls what is this? 
Sissification and Forced Feminization, no thank you.  I want my man whole,
dominant, and ready to take charge.  Submission, well as long as it is me. 
Tickling, sorry not ticklish.
	
	Consequently I clicked bondage and you know what happened it took me to
another window and it had the option of gags.  So next step I hit gags.  Do you
know what happened?  It opens another window and says start a gags group. 
Talking about frustrating this was getting to be frustration to the max.  I
wanted to gag the computer that was for sure.
	
	This happened each time I clicked on one of the names of groups.  It
would take me to another window or two and then ask if I wanted to start that
group.  I was about ready to give up and go call my friend and ask her how to do
it.  That would be so embarrassing for both of us I think, hmmm maybe not for
her.  That is when I realized that the search bar on top might do something, now
that I had a few ideas with what I had seen so far.
	
	I kind of knew what I wanted but where to start that is the question?  I
tried submission.  828 hits, I can't look through that many.  I have to get
fewer hits to go through.  Well next I added the word bondage with submission. 
Now I am frustrated again.  There were only four hits and nothing remotely
interesting.  Back I go to the search engine.  This time I put in spanking.  Now
then there were 404 hits.  A little better, I had to start somewhere and this
really interested me.  So I went and got a soda and sat at the computer ready to
read and read until I found the perfect one to start with.
	
	Twenty eight pages later I found it.  Yes, yes, yes.  Heaven here I
come.  Or should I say cum.  Ha ha ha.  Anyway I was going to find my answers. 
I read the preliminaries and signed up.  I thought it would be a day or two
before I had got word that I was accepted but it was just minutes.  Once I
opened the acceptance there at the bottom were other groups into the same thing
as what this group was.  I had to check them out also.  Off I go to the wild
blue yonder.  Hidey ho, hidey ho, hidey ho it's off to work I go.  I finally
signed up with six different groups.  All of the groups were on spanking.  The
excitement was already building.  Now I had to get up the nerve to type in my
question and wait for a response.
	
	What question did I want to ask?  Hmmm this is a hard one for me to
think about.  I know I want my husband to be more dominant in the bedroom that
is a must.  Heck scratch the more, just make that dominant.  Shoot the only time
in our entire relationship that he has been dominant in the bedroom was when he
got drunk and came over to my place wanting a little.  I told him to go sleep it
off and I didn't want to be bothered.  Big mistake on my part right; wrong, was
the first time that I had an orgasm where I seen stars.  Was one of the reasons
why I married him on top of that.  Next day he was all contrite and brought me
flowers and bought me a diamond tennis bracelet. 
	
	Only thing wrong was that I made him feel guiltier and shot off my big
mouth and told him I didn't want him to go out drinking any more and that he
left bruises all over my thighs and backside.  Heck I had it made before I shot
off my mouth, I could have had him be aggressive and dominant and have little
presents afterwards.  Wouldn't that have been nice?  Shake your head yes.  Well
kick that out the window.  Didn't happen, he changed into a new man.  He stopped
drinking.  No more rough stuff for me in the bedroom.  No more aggression.  I
was stuck calling the shots.  "Honey will you give me a little." "No dear, I am
sure it won't hurt me.  If it does I will tell you to stop."  "Yes dear, that is
the way I want it."  Got to the point I didn't ask any more and I didn't offer
any more either.  What was the point; oh yes those orgasms that he could give me
when I could force an issue.  However, they were not those earth shattering,
star seeing, white hot burning and cumming orgasms like the one when he came to
my place a little drunk.
	
	Thought it was the alcohol so I tried to get him drunk to recreate the
feeling.  No such luck.  Thought it was because I denied him.  Tried to deny him
again, shoot I gave out before he did.  I had to have some and I was getting to
where I didn't care if it was mediocre.  Thought it was because he was mad at
me.  So I tried to make him mad some more.  Didn't clean the house for a week
and this made him mad enough to take away my spending money but that was all. 
Didn't clean the house for two weeks and he said if I didn't want to clean house
then he would hire someone to clean it.  Now we have someone that comes and
cleans house.  Yippee, still no mind blowing orgasms.  What next do I have to do
to get what I want?
	
	What do I want?  Hmmm I want to be dominated in and outside of the
bedroom.  I want to be spanked.  I wanted to be tied up and taken advantage of. 
I want the force that comes with out asking "can I do this sweetie".  Am I
asking too much?  Do I really want too much from my man?  He gives me everything
else.  I have a nice car, two houses to live in, and beautiful jewelry.  What
more could a girl ask for right?  Well I want those white hot burning, earth
shattering, star seeing orgasms like he gave me when we were first together.  I
am not asking too much.  I deserve those for having to take care of our
finances.  For making sure our money is invested so that he can retire at fifty
five instead of sixty five.  For the investments that I have made that have
allowed us to take trips.  For the investments that I have made to buy our
second home.  Even though it was all done with our money (his money) (just say
it is mine, he never takes the time to say where what is spent where).  For
making sure the place that he comes home to is well cared for and he has a meal
fit for a king.  For me having to give up friends because he has old fashioned
beliefs that if he is not home then no man shall enter his home.  So friends
that have gotten married gradually stop coming to visit because I can't let
their spouse in when he is not home.  For having to sit at home and wait till he
comes, because no wife of his is going to work.  This could be tomorrow, next
week, or next month before he even comes home from work.  Shouldn't really
complain about these issues but I am, because I can. 
	
	I've hinted to him things that I would like to try.  I learned a long
time ago never just to ask right out what it is that I want.  "Would you tie me
up?"  His response: "Are you crazy? No, only weird people do that."  Well I
waited until he came home from work had the house cleaned and dinner on the
table.  What a good wife is supposed to do.  Right?  After dinner I put in to
the DVD player some stupid action thriller movie that he likes to watch.  I
wanted to get him into some kind of happy mood so that he would go to sleep with
out a care.  I had to watch two of those suckers before he was ready to go to
bed and sleep.  Told him that I wasn't tired and I wanted to stay up and work on
some stuff on the computer.  So he went to bed without me.
	
	While he was in bed I was planning.  I had to wait till he got to sleep
before I took any action.  The reason why, is the man out weighs me by seventy
pounds or more, and he was going to have a conniption with what I had planned. 
Once I heard snoring it was time to act.  I took off my stockings and tip toed
to the bed and made a slip knot in the foot of each.  I gently put one knot
around his left wrist and wrapped the other end around the post (we have a queen
size rice bed with four posts and a center medallion) on my right at the top of
the bed.  I started to pull very gently so as not to wake him up.  I figured
about a foot length extra for his arms to have good reach.  I tied the thigh
into a good old fashioned square not a few times before he woke up.  He looked
at me and asked what I was doing.  I said nothing just checking on him.  He
didn't even realize that I had his left hand tied.  I walked to the other side
of the bed and laid down putting my arms around him.

	It seemed like I waited forever before he went back to snoring.  Once he
started to snore again I pulled him towards me until he was on his back.  Then I
took the other stocking and slipped the other knot around his right wrist.  I
had just got it around the other post when he woke up again. That is when he
noticed his left hand was tied to the post.  That is also when he tried to pull
his right hand away from the post that I had the stocking wrapped around.  The
fight was on.  I would pull and his hand would turn colors because he was
pulling against me and I had made it a slip knot so there was no in between on
tightness.  It just kept getting tighter and tighter as he pulled and I pulled. 
I didn't think I was going to make it.  "Please baby, let me do this.  You are
hurting yourself.  I don't want you to hurt yourself.  Stop fighting me."

	"Get this fucking thing off my hand!"
	
	"Don't talk like that it is impolite.  You will like what I do, I
promise.  Please stop fighting me."
	
	"Impolite my ass.  When you act like a lady I will treat you like one. 
You are just being crazy.  Now get this fucking shit off my hands.  _ _ _ dammit
are you listening to me?"
	
	I wanted to shut him up so bad it was unreal.  I finally had to get up
and sit on his arm so that I could finish tying him up.  Once I had his hands
tied I had to take a breather.  I went over and turned on the lights and sat
down in his chair.  I like the way the leather feels against my bare legs and
bottom.  "I've told you before not to take the lord's name in vain.  So please
stop."  Of course he continued cursing at me.  I know I deserved it, but it
still didn't make it right.  I just had to shut him up so I got up and pulled my
panties down and walked over and shoved them in his mouth.
	
	 "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.  That's
what mother always said.  So please do be quiet and stop fighting.  You are good
and truly bound."  I went back and sat down in his chair and thought about what
I was going to do next.  I had to get something to finish tying him up with so I
started scavenging around our bed room.  I got the belt off of my robe and tied
his right leg to the bed post.  I had to find something strong and also
something that wouldn't hurt him.  The second thing I found was a piece of silk
that I had in my sewing box.
	
	Now I felt safe about what I was going to do.  I walked up the side of
the bed and climbed up on the edge.  He still pulled at the ties that I had
bound him with.  Once I made sure he was good and bound I crawled up on his
chest and sat there looking into his eyes.  "I asked you once if you would tie
me up and you said that was a crazy idea.  Well what do you think about this
idea?"  He pulled at the ropes and was trying to push my panties out of his
mouth.  Hmmm hadn't thought of gagging him.  He almost had them all the way out. 
So I climbed back down and went to my dresser and retrieved one of my favorite
scarves and tied it around his mouth so that the panties couldn't get out.  Then
I crawled back on his chest and sat there to see what he would do.
	
	Well what could he do?  Nothing that is the point, I had total control. 
Just like I wanted him to do to me, I was now doing to him.  "Now back to my
question, what do you think about my new idea?  Not nice so far is it?  But
think if you were in my place and I was in yours what would you do at this
point?"  I started taking my skirt off and my blouse.  My husband has this thing
for boobs.  So I knew this would turn him on.  Earlier that day when I knew he
was on the way home I went and bought a new bra at Fredrick's it was royal blue
with blue/black trimming.  It had holes where the nipples are supposed to be and
mine were sticking out hard as ever.  I thought it looked very good with my
milky white skin and my cherry red nipples.  He must of too because when I threw
my hair back (my hair is quite long almost to my hips) and arched my back I felt
the little monster (my husband calls his dick Moby, but I prefer little monster. 
Because it sure did scare me the first time) poking me in the back.

	"Well you like my new gift I see."  With me lying back on his stomach my
nipples are pointing directly up in the air.  The effect I think is quite
dramatic.  Too bad it is not the forth of July, I would be set with the red,
white and blue.  I let my hair fall between his legs until my head is resting on
the little monster.  Then I slowly start to sit up letting my hair drag against
the little monster and his friends.  I sit up all the way and stretch out my
arms running them up his arms and scoot down on to his belly.  Then I shove my
boobs into his face to where he cannot almost breathe.  I pull back slightly and
run my nipples across his mustache and beard.  This makes them harden even more
than they are.  I want him to suck on them but I don't think he is ready to have
the gag taken off so I do the next best thing.  I start to pinch and pull on my
nipples and rub my clit against his stomach.  I am getting wet from this and I
want more stimulation.  Is he ready to take the gag off?  I know he can feel the
wetness against his stomach.  Will he give me what I want?
	
	"Do you want to be inside where it is nice and hot?  Do you want me to
grind down on you and pull up nice and slow?"  He shakes his head yes.  Maybe it
is time to take the gag off.  "If I take the gag off will you help me out and
not talk mean to me?"  He shakes his head yes again.  "Yes you will help me out
or yes you are going to be mean to me?"  He shakes his head no.

	"If you are mean to me I will shove it this back inside your mouth and
be done with my trying to give you any enjoyment.  So don't be mean."  I pull
the scarf out of his mouth and then pull my panties out.  His mouth must be dry;
I can see his tongue circling his mouth.

	"Is your mouth dry?  Do you want something wet to make it better?"

	"Yes, let me suck on your nipples."  I shake my head no. "I said
something wet not something dry."  I scoot all the way up his chest and put my
pussy right over his mouth and push down a little.  Genius got it on first try
he did.  Went right on my clit and started circling it with his tongue.  I was
on my way yes sirree.
	
	I grabbed a hold of the medallion on the center of our bed to keep my
balance and used it to pull myself forward and backward with ease.  Yes sirree
Bob, I was on my way.  I reached between my legs and pulled my lips apart with
one hand so I could feel more of that prickly tickly sensation of his mustache
and then rode his tongue like there was no tomorrow.  Around his tongue would go
circling my clit and then I would have to clinch and shove his tongue back in my
hole.  Around and around he worked his tongue until I had to clinch and POW I
would shove that wonderful thick tongue back in my hole.
	
	This went on for a while until finally yes that almighty roaring clinch
that cannot stop.  When the knees snap and the thighs want to close.  My pelvic
arches and yes that glorious release is upon me.  I have to let go of my pussy
lips and reach up and grab the medallion of our bed.  I do not want to smother
the man in pussy and this is what will happen if I can't keep some control. His
tongue continues going in and out of my pussy and his nose keeps rubbing against
my clit keeping me totally stimulated.  What a ride!!! What a ride!!! Oh me, Oh
my what a ride.  I needed that!
	
	I sit on his face for a little longer after I came just to get my
bearings back.  My legs felt wobbly and weak.  So I just laid back and rested
for a minute, while I caught my breath.  My little monster seemed quite eager
for some attention so I rolled over and put one knee on each side of his head. 
Then I put my pussy back on his mouth and grabbed his cock with my right hand
and his balls with my left.  Yes I had a little cotton mouth and I needed it
quenched.   That is what it was there for right?
	
	"Do you want to be inside where it is nice and warm and wet?"  He shakes
his head yes again.  Well what else could he do?  I had my clit back in his
mouth so no arguments could be gotten there.
	
	I first licked that nice little pearly drop off the tip, umm.  Then I
circled his crown with my tongue pulling it inside my mouth while rubbing my top
teeth gently against the back of his dick (learned to be gentle with the teeth,
I like teeth he doesn't oh well who is in charge this time?).  I ease back to
let just his head enter my lips and stick my tongue down his hole makes him arch
into my mouth for more.  I let him shove his cock down my throat once then pull
up slowly (great position for deep throating).  Too fast to soon and I know he
will loose it and that is not my game for tonight.  Thank you very much.
	
	So I pull his cock out of my mouth and scoot a little forward (don't
want to loose contact on the clit action) and start to lick on his balls.  Then
I pick those sweet suckers up and lick behind them (you know that oh so
sensitive spot between balls and asshole).  I twirl my tongue up and down, up
and down, up and down.  Side to side then back for the wood I go.  I grab his
balls with my left hand again and give them a slight squeeze then I pull them
down away from his body so that his dick dances for me and each little bob it
makes I make a nice clean little sweep.  I play this little game until my
husband stabs that oh so sweet tongue into my hole.  That is when I take him all
the way into my mouth again and down my throat.  I don't pull back until he
pulls his tongue out and then I pull his head out of my throat and then just
suck on his head and the top most part of the shaft.
	
	We do this for awhile until I start to cum again.  I wanted his dick in
my mouth but I couldn't get enough breath.  I also couldn't keep the right
amount of contact on my clit and hole.  I had to let go somewhere.  It was
either keep sucking him and him getting off or it was for me to lean back and
get mine again.  Well who is in charge here?  Me that's right so of course I let
that beautiful dick go and rode that tongue for what it was worth.  Bone
clinching, pussy snapping, oh so wonderful pelvic tilting breath shattering cum
that was.
	
	All that would have made it perfect was a cock slamming in from behind
with my hands pulled out and my chest pressed down. Oooow Ya.  (Little fantasy
of mine to be sucking one man's cock while getting eaten from same man and
getting screwed from behind by totally different man) Oh well maybe it will
happen.
	
	Well I needed a breather after that and he needed a break for his
tongue.  So up I got and went and sat in his chair.  Marking my territory with
my cum dripping down my legs and onto his leather chair.  Ooo that felt nice and
cool on my hot box.
	
	"Where are you going?  Honey what are you doing now?"  I didn't want to
answer so I just sat quietly and watched him.

	"Baby are you going to come back here and untie me and we can finish
what you started?"  Still I refuse to answer.  He still doesn't get it.  I am in
charge and I don't want him to cum.  "Baby please come back and suck my cock?  I
am sorry for what I said earlier.  Will you come back and untie me?  Are you
done with your little craziness?"
	
	"It's not being crazy and it's not being weird.  It is something that I
want to do and something that I would like you to do to me.  Oh just shut up and
let me do what I want to do.  It's not like you can object right now."  I sat
there contemplating my next move and totally blocked out his little whinny
voice. 
	
	If I did my next idea I might not see the sun rise.  But I have always
heard of how men liked their prostrate rubbed and I thought if I could get his
legs untied and then maybe pull his legs back towards his chest I could
accomplish two goals at once.
	
	The problem was though that I had tried the prostrate thing once before
with my finger and he had such a hissy fit about only queers liking that sort of
thing that I know if I took my vibrator or dildo (some toys that I bought off of
the internet that he knew nothing about) to his little asshole there would be
hell to pay once he got untied (and I am not talking about him tying me up and
taking advantage of me).  And even if he did like it, it might cause mental
anguish.  By him thinking he had homosexual tendencies.  I wanted a dominant man
not a wuss.  So I guess me spanking him would be out of the question also since
I was going to use the prostate enhancer to keep him hard during the spanking
along with a little oral stimulation.
	
	Well now what to do?  What to do?  For a woman that doesn't work,
doesn't clean house, doesn't have kids and doesn't have crap to do all day.  I
should have been better prepared.  Well the problem is I don't want him to cum
and I want to continue cumming so that means I have to stop the flow.  Hmmm
...cock ring that is what is needed in this situation.  Now I didn't have one of
those laying around handy so the inventive creature that I am decided on using
what else but rubber bands looped together to form a long strand then of course
a slip knot at the end and the other end used to tighten away. Yippy kie aaay.
	
	So I jumped up and ran into the front hall and grabbed a handful of
rubber bands and got to work putting them together.  I could hear him calling my
name and I wanted him to wonder about what I was doing, so on the way back I put
the rubber bands under my hair and grabbed a tea towel from the kitchen.
	
	Once I got back to our room I wrapped the tea towel around his head and
covered his eyes completely.  He was still hard as stone and still not going
anywhere until I said so.  So of course I was happy. As soon as that was
completed I put my little slip knot of rubber bands around his dick while using
my mouth so that he could not feel it going on.  Of course he didn't feel it. 
He felt the heat of my mouth, the flicking of my tongue, and the anticipation of
finally getting to cum.  Ha.  I placed the ring of rubber bands at the base of
his cock and started to pull tautly (did you know that rubber bands catch hair
and pulls it?  Who knew not me.).  Of course he flinched when those first few
hairs came out.  But I had a plan and I was going through with it no matter
what.
	
	Well time to get on that wonderful tongue again.  Didn't want to listen
to him whine and moan about a few hairs.  Shoot I wax mine and that is a lot
more than a few.  He actually tried to bite me.  Well we will see about that,
won't we?  Bite me I bite back.  That is exactly what I did.  I bit the very tip
of his dick.  You know the spot, right where the pee hole is.  Well that is
where I bit down.  And you would think I committed bloody murder with that
little nip of a bite.  I swear my sister could have heard him scream in the next
county if she had her windows open that night.
	
	Well back go the panties and the scarf.  I don't want the police called
by the neighbors.  Could you imagine explaining that one to a police officer? 
"Yes officer everything is ok.  My husband and I were just playing games and I
got a little over excited.  Yes it was me that screamed (Ya right).  You want to
talk to my husband; well he is a little tied up right now.  Does it really
matter if I say it was me that screamed?"  No thank you, I don't want to deal
with that.
	
	I killed the little monster.  He was shrinking right before my eyes.  Oh
well, time to kiss it and make it better.  Did you know that a man's knees have
a nice hard curvature that fits well between a woman's thighs?  Well now you
know.  That is where I went and sat.  And of course he was still not interested
in helping me out so I took his pillow and shoved it under his knee so that it
would bend nicely and that bone would stick out just soooo.  Yes just so good. 
I straddled that knee with my little clitty pressed up tight and did that slow
rock and roll rhythm.
	
	As soon as I got my juices flowing and was back in the mood I reached up
and started running my nails down his chest and sides.  Don't you like those
little goose bumps?  I had to get him hard again so of course the best way is
with my mouth.  Therefore I grabbed his dick with my mouth and started to suck
on the head of his dick.  This gave my hands wandering time.  Or should I say my
nails (yes they are long, yes they are real).  I press my nails into the side of
his hips and then reach back and press them into his rear.  This makes him arch
into my mouth right where I want him. 
	
	I continue sucking his dick while twirling my tongue around it for some
time.  I guess it really did hurt when I bit him.  It is taking longer than
usually for him to get hard.  Finally I am getting him to respond to my mouth's
attention and I gradually start pulling on my little rubber band lead.  He
finally gets fully hard and I have those rubber bands wrapped around his dick
tight.  Ooo la la.  His dick looks engorged beyond belief.  I swear he gained a
good half inch or more in girth.  The skin was stretched tautly all the way
around and the whole thing just glistened with my spit and his precum.  Now the
fun was back on.

	I jumped off my bed and went to the armoire and on the top shelf behind
the kotex, tampons, and other feminine hygiene products sat Sam and Henry (my
vibrator and dildo).  One place my husband would never snoop, he has this
aversion to anything remotely dealing with the "that time of the month" (ever
hear of a woman's period lasting forty seven days? Mine did he thought.  Too
much of a chicken to find out.). 
	
	Hence I crawled up between his legs with Henry at the ready (just put
new batteries in last week) and turned him on low and started to rub that cold
tip against the back of my husband's rock hard cock.  Yes he jumped but he
settled down right away.  I would slide ol' Henry down his cock with my mouth
following and then back up again following my mouth.  Figured what the hell, if
Henry could give me a buzz then what was good for the gander was good for the
goose. Right?  Right!
	
	I did this until I felt him start to push more in my mouth and his
buttocks start to clinch.  That is when I stopped, no cumming for you mister.  I
reached down between my legs and started to rub Henry across my clit.  Yes, what
is good for the goose is good for the gander.  This gave him time to settle down
and me time to heat back up.  After a few swipes across my clit I knew I wanted
something inside.  Was it safe to climb on top?  Would he shoot like a sky
rocket if I did?  The only way to find out is if I did, therefore that is
exactly what I did.
	
	I stood up on our bed and turned towards the mirror that sits on my
vanity at the foot of the bed and then proceeded to squat on that big hunk of
hard meat.  I wish I could get my legs on the outside of his comfortably but his
legs are spread too wide.  I watch in the mirror as the head of his dick enters
me.  His dick looks so red it is almost purple up against my whiteness.  The
picture is so erotic with my pussy just sitting on the head of his dick I just
want to leave it there for a few minutes.  He is trying to coax me down by
making his meat do that little dance and I am entranced by the show.
	
	I can't take it anymore.  I just plop down on his dick in one fell swoop
ramming his head against my cervix.  Oh me, oh my, oh yes, you don't have to ask
why.  The sensation inside of me is one of complete fullness with all my inner
nerves working over time.  He does that little dance of his inside of me to get
me to move, but I just want to feel that fullness.  Therefore I clinch down on
my pussy and he groans.  I got to have that feeling again.  So while I am
clinched down on his dick I pull up and watch in the mirror as his dick slides
out of my pussy.  I get to the head of his dick just resting inside my lips and
I pause to watch in the mirror for a bit.  Then I slam back down and oh yes,
there it is again.  His head is right up on my cervix pushing it in.  He starts
to arch like he is ready to cum so I just sit there.
	
	Yes, I just sit there and feel those oh so sensational feelings.  Then I
reach down and grab Henry and place one end against my clit and the other
against his balls.  I let that buzz there on my clit until I couldn't help but
clinch tight.  That feeling when you are full and then trying to clinch just
won't let you release.  Oh that feeling when you know that you are going to cum
and you want it more.  You want it faster, you want it deeper, and you just have
to let go or else you will shatter.  Yes that all consuming body clinching
feeling was upon me. 

	"Push it up!  Push it up!  Way up!"  I can't move, my muscles have
locked up.  He can't move he is tied down.  "Oh God fuck me!  Please fuck me!" 
Why can't we be in reverse positions?  I should be the one tied up not him. 
Someone spank my ass, someone spank my thighs, someone please spank my pussy
make me have that white hot, earth shattering, star seeing cum like before. 
This is all I could think about and it wasn't happening.
	
	Talking about frustration, I was totally frustrated.  I threw Henry over
on my chair.  I was almost there and lost it.  All because he was tied down and
not me.  All because I couldn't get that extra sensation of those little slaps
where I needed them most.  All because I had a spouse that was afraid that he
would hurt me.  Just look at me I am 5' 11", 153 pounds, I have a 50" chest with
a 29" waist and 48" hips.  My ass was made to be spanked.  My thighs were built
to take the punishment.  They were smooth sleek with all the muscle lines
showing from ankle up to the top of my thigh on the outside.  On the inside they
had a little roundness. That when I was standing with my legs together I had
what my husband called a dick hole that you could see through at the top next to
my pussy.  Yes my hip bones stuck out in front butt my bottom was nice and
padded and could take the pain.  Just give it to me please.
	
	I give up, it is not happening.  I pull the rubber bands off his dick. 
(Dam the little monster is purple.)  I untie his feet and climb back on top of
him facing him this time and bend and suck on his nipples.  At least he is going
to get off good.  I grind my clit down on him and then slide back up.  Then I
just get into that rhythm of up and down.  Stop and grind.  Up and down.  Stop
and grind.  Until he cums and I cum a little.  I reach up and untie the scarf
from his mouth and get back my panties.  After that I untie the tea towel from
his eyes and just look at him looking at me.  He can see the disappointment in
my eyes I am sure.  He is used to it by now, put hey what can you do except try
something new.  I just wish he would try it too.
	
	"Are you done baby?" he asks.
	
	I don't say a thing.  I just sat there looking at him.  I loved him with
all my heart and he loved me.  However, much he gave me in material things he
couldn't or wouldn't give me what I wanted most.  You know what I wanted was
that earth shattering; a tear slips down my face.  White hot burning, another
tear falls on to his chest.  Star seeing, I fall forward and just cry.  I just
want that orgasm like when he and I did it that night all those years ago when I
said no and he said yes and he gave me more than anybody ever had before.

Chapter 2

	Well that happened six or seven years ago.  I tried to tie him up again
a few times after that just to remind him that I wanted the same. But for some
odd reason he became a light sleeper.  Maybe it was because his dick was purple
for a while.  He said that it hurt, heck he wouldn't even let me kiss it to make
it better the next night.

	Back to what I want, I am at a spanking group so this is obviously what
I want.  The tie up part can come later.  The force issue can be worked on later
also.  I have got to start somewhere, right?

	Question, questions, questions, and I needed answers.  I was hoping for
them by next week.  That is when my husband was due to be home again.  Might as
well get straight to the point, yes I should.  So there I sat looking at my
infernal computer and debated.  Then I typed:  "I want to be spanked."  No, that
was to blunt.  I erased that, so I sat there again and thought of my problem.  I
didn't want to sound desperate.  I didn't want to sound like I wanted a stranger
to spank me (even though maybe deep inside I really did).  I'll get into that
maybe later.  I wanted people to know that I was faithful to my spouse and I
wanted him to have the honors.  That is when I decided to put the issue pointing
out that he was with me.  So I typed: I want to be spanked and I've hinted this
to my husband several times but he is not getting the message. Any suggestions?

	I hurried and pushed enter, before I chickened out.  Then I sat there
and just listened to my breathing.  It seemed like I couldn't catch my breath. 
My heart was racing, my palms got sweaty, and I wanted to take it back.  People
were going to know me and my desires.  However, it might get me what I want.  So
I started to relax and browse around on the different groups.

	It was about an hour later before I got my first message. I opened it
immediately.  It was from some guy in California.  This is what he wrote: Dear
Crybaby,

	One thing you could do is to contact a Dominant man in your area, and
arrange for him to come to your house and teach your husband how to give you
what you need.  This problem is much more common than you might imagine.  You
might want to join spanking.com or alt.com, and list yourself as available, and
in need of instruction.

	If you are in Northern California, I would be happy to volunteer; I am
an older Dominant man with a great deal of experience.

	Yes, I would like that.  It is kind of like one of my fantasies. 
However, I know my husband would not stand for it.  Let me describe my husband. 
I already told you that he was bigger than me.  But top that off he is
physically strong; he could pick me up over his head and throw me.  The man was
in gangs when he was younger, had been shot in the back and didn't think
anything about fighting someone that looked at me wrong.  I know he fought with
two marine guys when we first dated.  He whipped both of them, just because one
of them smiled at me.  Any way, he is a conservative and top that off he is a
severely religious catholic.  Yes, get some other guy to spank me.  I would like
to see that happen.

	Oh well, there are bound to be others to offer suggestions.  I just had
to wait.  Didn't take long on the wait department, in less than twenty minutes I
had a reply.  This one was from some guy in Alaska.  This is what it said: 
Hello, Do something very bad, and I mean Bad. Then when u get ready for bed
dress up sexy like sexy panties, which show the true form of that very nice
tight spankable bum of yours. When he ask u what the hell you're doing, tell him
u been bad and lie across his lap and make him spank u.

	Shoot I already tried this.  Well something similar, you know with the
house cleaning stuff.  I didn't clean house for the entire week before he was to
come home.  Then when he came home I told him I was just busy and if he wanted
to he could spank me and I would do better.  You know where that got me.  So
later I tried for two weeks before he came home not to a clean house, done
laundry, or anything that dwelt with the house.  That is when I got someone to
clean for me.  Well when I was packing his suitcase I packed with it my dirty
cum covered panties with a note that said: I have been naughty, I need a
spanking.  Do you know I never seen those panties or note again, neither did he
say anything about them.

	I still wonder what happened with those panties, they were my favorites,
his too if I remember correctly.  They were red silk with black trim.  They were
not those thong panties, nor were they just plain bikini panties.  These were
those panties with the ties on the sides and the leg fronts were cut square and
the backs were cut square also.  When they were tied on the sides of my waist
half of my ass hanged out.  They were the no fuss kind, where you just pulled
the strings on the sides and poof they were off.

	The next one said: Well, this might sound a little risky: Buy a paddle
or a big hairbrush and give it to him on a special occasion, preferably wearing
something that turns him on.  It might be easier to find a paddle than a
hairbrush.  Go to www3.sympatico.ca/spankinc/ These paddles are really
beautiful, and might convey your message more tactfully than other paddles.  I
hope that URL works; I copied it from google but did not test it, as I am in the
office right now and my internet activities are monitored.  Write to me if you
would like some more suggestions or URLs.  I am discrete.

	Oh well back to the waiting game, didn't think I wanted a paddling.  I
just wanted a good old fashioned spanking.  It was getting late, had to get up
early in the morning to go eat breakfast with my mom.  So I hit the sack, I
dreamed of a spanking that night and I woke up masturbating in my bed.  I had to
get some relief soon, otherwise I was going to do something crazy that I was
bound to regret later.

	It was two whole days before I got my next email.  This one didn't offer
any suggestions it just made me hot and bothered.  Heck, I read it now and it
still does the same thing.  Here is what it said: That spanking. You know the
one. The one where the man doesn't stop until you are properly disciplined. Red,
raw bottom. Nose in the corner. Over the knee. Hands gripping your ankles for
the paddle. Your bottom elevated on a mountain of pillows awaiting the hard,
stinging strap. Back in the corner. Panties in a puddle. A well-spanked girl in
the corner contemplating her actions. Contrite. Comforted. Forgiven. Yeah, that
spanking.

	Let's talk.

	God I wanted to talk, I wanted a lot more than to talk.  I wanted that
spanking.  I read this email one time and I couldn't help but clench down and
hold it.  I have read this email probably more than 15 times and each time I
read it I have to clench down and hold it.  Just reading it now makes me clench
down.  Lord help me, please.

	I could sit here for awhile and just imagine what it would be like.  I
thought I wanted a spanking, you know just with the hand.  Just for a little
stimulation, but after reading this.  My god, I want that paddling that I
deserve.  I want to be bent over and paddled with a leather paddle, no make that
a wood paddle.  One that can hit both cheeks at the same time, one that can put
that deep sting where needed most.  I want someone to throw me on the bed, shove
pillows under my belly, and put me on my knees with my legs spread.  I want that
strap to make that butt clenching pop.  I want that strap to miss every now and
then and get my pussy.  Oh me, oh my yes I want it bad.  God I am getting wet
just writing this down.

	Oh well back to looking through the emails. I got another email from the
guy talking about where to buy paddles today.  Here I get the above mentioned
email and it talks about paddles and this guy tells me...Here you can read: 
Read him one of those erotic stories that you like.  Get in bed, turn over on
your stomach, and put his hand on your bottom while you read it out loud to him. 
When you get to a really hot spanking part, close your eyes, arch your back so
that your head and bottom rise up a little while your stomach settles into the
bed, and say "mmm."  Then start reading again. Did you look at those cute
paddles?

	I had to respond to this guy he was really trying to help.  He took the
time not to write once but twice.  I started to write him back and then bing. 
He sent me another email.  I have to stop mine and read his first.  All it said
is what do you think?  Yes, I would respond to him.  So I went back to my draft
and started writing.  Here is what I wrote: yes I looked at those cute paddles.
I really liked the heart shape one and the bolo one. But I thought that a wooden
spoon with the rounded hallow would work very well. I really like your idea on
reading him a story.  I have also thought about letting him read some of my
emails if I get enough and then he might get the message. I read mine to him and
I read another one from a guy wanting me to spank him. But my husband ignored
what mine said and seemed more interested with the other one. Now it makes me
wonder if he was jealous or if he wants me to tie him up and spank him.  I don't
know which.

	I knew if I didn't get something soon, I was really going to be bad. 
Now this proves it.  Here I am responding to a complete stranger, while my
husband is god knows where in the U.S.A.  I had to find out where he was from,
maybe he was close.  I went and looked at his profiles.  It didn't state where,
it just said his age and gave a quote and some of his favorite web sites.  Well
of course I checked out the things that he liked before I sent my email.  Did
not want to send a email to someone that might be a sadistic s.o.b.  You know
the type, right?  The person that rapes and kills the girl that he met on the
internet, and then he kills the entire family just for fun.  Hmmm, he had
paddles as one, another was stories, and the third was visual.  Didn't sound
bad, sounded ok.  Didn't show some torture site, where he got off on blood and
guts.

	Well I sent the email and sat and waited.  He sent back an email with my
name on the heading.  "Freak out" is not strong enough of a phrase.  "Scared
shitless", was more like it.  Where did he get my name?  I sat there and thought
and thought.  Then it hit me, everything on my email was from when I originally
signed up for this email account.  That was back three years ago.  So of course
he had my name, what else did he have?

	I went first thing and changed my email preferences, and then I went and
checked what I had for a profile.  Holy crap I put my name, nickname, age,
email, everything.  How dense am I?  Pretty dam dense, that is for sure.  Well
here it is:  Angel Hmmm.  I went to bed last night and thought about it some
more.  You know, a spoon is probably a pretty good idea, especially if he is a
bit larger and stronger than you.

	Anyway, I had what I think is a great idea.  I want to send you a kind
of a form to fill out (MS Word if you have it), for you to detail your spanking
interests.  Then, you can send it back to me and I will clean it up into a
really good email that I will send back to you.  Essentially, it will say,
here's what I would do.  You can show him that email, and that should settle it
once and for all, I think.  Just say that's what he says, and that's what I want
from you!

	Of course, this will be some pretty personal stuff.  You could just fill
out the Word doc, clean it up yourself by deleting and rewording it a little,
and leave me out of it.  You would probably feel better about doing it that way
since you don't really know me.  But, hey!  It'll be fun thinking of all the
cool questions, and I'd really like to help you get what you want.

	Maybe I can have it in the mail this afternoon, if I don't get something
from you nixing it.


	What could happen?  He already knew my name; it wasn't like he knew
where I lived.  Wouldn't hurt to email him back, right?  So I did, here it is:
Ok, now I am curious what type of form. Is this some type of form that you can
get on line or are you making it up? How will it help? Oh just please send the
form. I am most curious and wanting to know just what is in the form. I will be
waiting. Thanks again, Angel
      
	What could happen really?  The man was over 1500 miles away; it wasn't
like he would come here and murder me.  He didn't know where I lived, he didn't
know me.  He was a stranger, who I would never really meet.

	He sent me the questions and yes I filled it out.  Did he post them on
the spanking site?  Go look; see if you can find them.  Come join the group.  I
sat at my computer and debated on sending him my answers for hours and hours. 
He was right, they were very personal.  They asked questions about my past, my
present, and what I wanted in my future.  He wanted my deepest fantasy, could I
give it to him.  That was the issue, could he help me with my problem. I debated
and debated, until I decided to just do it.

	I filled out his questionnaire it took me over three hours.  Some of the
questions aroused me.  Some filled me with sadness.  Then others filled me with
a need, that when thought about became over bearing in intensity.  I will show
you some of the ones I answered, the others you will have to find.  Here they
are with answers; I hope you can see what he saw in me.

	Do you fantasize about being spanked?  How often do you fantasize about
it?  Do you think about it when you are making love?  When you aren't making
love, does it get you sexually excited?  Do you ever masturbate when you
fantasize about it?  Have you ever spanked yourself?

	Yes. Weekly. Yes when I am on top or doggie. No on all other positions.
Yes. Yes. Yes just to see what it felt like.

	In your spanking fantasy, where is it happening?  Is it in your home or
some other place you are familiar with?  Is it in a strange place?  Is it
outdoors?  What are you wearing?  Are you being spanked on your bare bottom?

	At home in my bedroom. A baby doll nighty. Yes.

	In your spanking fantasy, who is spanking you?  Is it someone you know
or a stranger?  Is it a man or a woman?  What are they wearing?  How many people
are there?  How many people are spanking you?  Is someone watching you?

	A stranger. A man. Black pants no shirt. Black leather biker boots. 3.
Just 1. My husband.

	In your spanking fantasy, why are you being spanked?  Did you do
something to deserve a spanking?  Are you being punished or are you getting
spanked just because it excites you?  Are you getting spanked just because it
excites the person who is spanking you, and would that be OK with you?

	For not doing something that I was told to do. No.  Being punished. It
excites him is ok, but if it excites me it is better.

	In your spanking fantasy, are you being forcibly spanked, or is it by
mutual consent?  Either way, how does this make you feel about the person who is
spanking you?

	I am being forcibly spanked. I am afraid.

	In your spanking fantasy, how are you getting spanked?  Over the knee? 
Standing, bent over?  Bent over a chair or table?  In bed?  What are you
wearing?  What is the other person wearing?  Are you being restrained (tied face
down on the bed, etc.)?  Is some special furniture involved?

	It starts out that my hands are tied to the post of my bed and I am
standing bent over with my feet spread. He spanks me with his bare hand until my
bottom is a nice cherry pink. But then when I still refuse to do what he wants
me to do he unties my wrists from the bed without untying my hands and has me
crawl up onto the bed. I try to kick him and fight back but it does me no good.
He ties my hands to the top center medallion, so I am facing the bed with my
bottom towards my husband. He grabs my legs and ties something just above the
knees and then pulls the ties up to the top of the bed and ties them to the post
in each corner. This causes my legs to spread apart. Then he ties something on
my ankles and pulls them taught and ties them to the posts at the bottom of the
bed.  Once he has me tied up then he starts to spank me again while talking to
my husband about the discipline that I need. My husband is also bound and gagged
at the side of the bed sitting in his easy chair. After some time the man takes
his leather belt off and starts to spank me with it. I try to squirm away from
it but the belt still catches me every time.  He continues to talk to my
husband, on the proper discipline that a wife needs when she is left to herself.

	In your spanking fantasy, what are you being spanked with?  Hand? 
Paddle?  Belt?  Spoon?  Swishy cane?  How do you feel about what is being used
on you?  What kind of sensations does it cause on your bottom?

	Hand and belt. Fear and relief. Tingling, stinging, pain, heat, passion,
oh my god relief.

	In your spanking fantasy, how does the spanking make you feel?  How much
does it hurt?  Is it OK to feel that pain?  What other sensations are going
through your body while you are being spanked?

	Excited, scared, anxious, amorous, and relief. A little. A lot. A
little. A lot... YES. A tightening a relaxing. A tightening a relaxing. Oh me Oh
my.

	In your spanking fantasy, is the spanking going to make you have an
orgasm?  How many orgasms?  How long do they last?  Are they different from
orgasms that you have when you are making love to someone but not fantasizing
about being spanked?

	YES. Just one. It lasts a long time. Yes.

	What do you want to wear for your next spanking?  What clothes would you
want to have removed during the spanking, and what would you want to keep on? 
What do you want the other person to wear?

	Blue baby doll nighty with matching panties. The panties the nighty. His
pants and boots.

	How do you want to be spanked?  Face down on the bed with pillows under
you to raise up your bottom?  Bent over a chair?  Across a lap?   Would you like
to be tied down if you knew that you could always stop it if it got out of
control?

	Yes to all of the above.

	What do you want to be spanked with?  Hand?  Paddle?  Riding crop?  A
variety of toys in order to experience a variety of sensations?  Do you know
what these would feel like to be spanked with them?  Would you like to find out?

	Hmmm hand definitely. Paddle maybe. Wooden spoon probably. A variety of
toys yes. Yes, no, no. Yes and no.

	Do you just wish someone would give you a spanking?

	YES

	Do you want to feel safe and secure during your next spanking?  (Be sure
you have a way to stop it if you feel it is really getting out of control, but
do not stop it too soon.  Be sure you have a way to resume where you left off,
if you decide you didn't really want to stop it.)

	YES

	Would you like your next spanking to frighten you a little?

	YES

	How much does pain upset you?  (What exactly is pain, anyway?  Does a
little pain excite you - for example, do like to have your bottom slapped when
you are making love, or your nipples pinched hard?  Do you like to exercise
until it hurts?)

	 A continous pain would upset me. Yes a little pain excites me greatly
when making love.

	What do you know about the following items?  How do you think they would
feel if applied lightly to your bottom?  More than lightly?

	A hand?
	A small leather paddle.
	A large leather paddle.
	A wooden hairbrush.
	A small wooden paddle.
	A large wooden paddle.
	A leather strap.
	A tawse.
	A martinet.
	A switch, freshly cut.
	A thin, whippy cane.
	A thick, stiff cane.

	A lot, none, none, none, none, a lot, a lot, none, none, a lot, none,
none. Hmmm tingling, stinging, and painful. Some maybe even excruciating.

	Would you like to be restrained (tied down) and spanked, if you thought
it was completely safe?

	YES

	Do you want to relive a childhood spanking?  If so, is there something
about it that you haven't yet resolved?

	No

	Why do women generally get sexually excited when they are being spanked,
while men get sexually excited when they are giving the spanking?  (Granted,
different men and women are excited by different circumstances.)

	It is a dominant issue. Women want to feel that they are protected and
that their man is strong enough to take care of business. Men want to feel that
they have control of their women and that they can make them into better women.	

	While answering these questions I became hot and bothered.  Wouldn't
you?  When it got to the part about being afraid and restrained, I couldn't help
but clench down and hold it. When I got to the part asking about the different
toys that could be used it was like an orgasm was on me.  I had to push down and
out, like my cervix was looking for a cock.  Does this make sense?  I know there
are a few of you that are saying yes.
	
	Are you wondering if this is real, let me tell you it is.  Every night I
write on my computer about what I did that day.  This guy, lets call him Stan. 
Stan mentioned about posting the questionnaire, and this gave me the idea on
this story.  So I am writing it as it happens. Today I sent him my answers, I
had to, you see.  I had to have my answers.
	
	But when I sent him my answers, I had to get him to answer the same, and
then some.  I had to ask him what makes a man want to spank, a woman.  What
makes a man get excited about spanking a woman?  I asked several more, because
now I see that I could be both.  A giver and a receiver of what is known as
discipline.
	
	So I sent him my questions along with my answers.  If you want his
answers you will have to get them from him.  Just come and join the group, you
will find him.  This is the email that he returned to me after I sent the
answers.
	
	Gee, I don't know what I was expecting.  Kind of naive like that
sometimes.  When I wrote the original questions, I really wanted to get to you
in some way, to dig deep down inside this thing that we seem to share.  Then, it
was a shock to see the same questions come back to me, with more to boot.  it's
getting to me.  I have read your answers several times now, and I am so dizzy
and buzzy that it is hard to work - not that I do much work here anyway. 
Sometimes I am also paranoid that people are looking over my shoulder or
intercepting my email here, but _____ is password secure, and they wouldn't dare
piss me off here.

	Bad?  No.  Extremely attractive?  Yes!  I absolutely could not sleep
last night.  I've never had anybody to discuss this with before.  My head is
spinning, it seems so open and comfortable.  Those questions I wrote were all
big issues for me in the way I approach women and sex and life-energy, which is
a major focus of my life. Yeah, this is making me horny, Ms Angel, have no fear
about that!

	So, on the other hand, if bad is good, then...., this is good, let's be
bad.  Where is the BDSM Library? Yes, it's very nice indeed to be able to say
what I want about something so close to my being.  Of course, there are other
things we might not be saying, I think, but that's OK too.

	I'm going to work on my answers now, and try stay on topic.  I may drift
a little, though, for clarification now and then.

	I can wait for your whole chapter.  I think I am really going to enjoy
it.

	First, though, I think I will go look for "The Maiden Maid" that you
mentioned.  And I want to share a couple of short stories with you from
Serijules.  I really like her stories.  Most of them are a bit extreme, but they
seem very autobiographical.http://www.serijules.com/onestroke.htm

	http://www.serijules.com/tuckmein.htm It is so nice to share these kinds
of thoughts and feelings with you!
	 Stan

	What could I say; I was enraptured, all on the idea that there was
someone like me. Someone that could understand where I was coming from, and
where I wanted to go.  This man was getting under my skin; we emailed each other
several times a day. We emailed each other several times a night.  It was like a
courtship, of give and take, take and give.  I couldn't stop; I had to know what
was going to happen next.

	That is when I got this email from him and it became a clincher.  You
know a sealing of a pact.  It just happened; I saw something that made me jump. 
Can you guess what it is?  Here is the email: Ms. Angel I downloaded The Maiden
Maid.  Alas, a 42 page PDF, so I will read only a little and then get to the
writing.

	Happy delivery!  I received my new hairbrush from Kent Brushes in the
UK.  Some observant people would certainly wonder why I was spending good money
on a hairbrush.  It is all natural (almost), 9" long and 2-7/8 wide, with
moderately wood.  Nice wood.  Last week they sent me the wrong hairbrush, the
same style but obviously the "child-size" version, so they let me keep the small
one and sent me the big one in addition.  Now I have one to spank the bottom,
and one to spank where it is a little more sensitive.  BzzzzZZZZZzzzZZZ.

	Just thinking of your special needs,
	Stan

	Did you figure it out?  Maybe my return email will help.   This is it: I
like the way you write. The descriptions are so; oh I don't know how to describe
it.  It makes me want to feel that hairbrush. Heck it makes me want to feel both
of them one right after the other. Is it wrong? Does it happen? Can I have it
happen? Why does a good catholic girl like me have these feelings that I can't
get rid of?

       I finished my first chapter and now I am depressed and I am questioning
myself through you about my own feelings. This is so unreal. Am I right that I
should want more? Should I be happy with what I got?

       Do you know why I didn't untie my husband when I started crying so that
he could comfort me? I'll tell you why, I felt guilty for wanting something that
he thinks are perverse and I have gone to confession over this issue already. I
know he feels inadequate in the bedroom but I feel it is his own fault. If he
would just give me what I need instead of jewelry when he feels inadequate then
I would be happy.
      
       I used to wear rings on every finger when he took me out. I have an
entire jewelry box over flowing with his little gifts. Bracelets, necklaces,
rings, and pins. I don't wear any of them any more. I don't even wear my wedding
set anymore. He still gives them to me trying to make up for what he can't give
or what he won't give. Well I am going to send this now. I cut out about half.

	We wrote a few emails in between, but I couldn't forget what he wrote
here.  I couldn't get it out of my mind.  I had to act, I had to have the things
that he said, some is mentioned above some isn't.  Maybe I am a bad person,
maybe I am just normal, and maybe I just don't care anymore.  I had to
correspond with him; I was addicted to the way he made me feel.  That is when I
wrote this: 
      
	You will not believe what I went and bought today!!!!! I don't believe I
bought it. I was so embarrassed it was unreal. The lady at the counter
(Wal-Mart, do you have this dime store where you are?) gave me a strange look
and asked if I was having a good day? I could only smile and say yes. I wonder
if she thought I was crazy. I wonder if she knew what I wanted that hairbrush
for. It was my only purchase there and usually people go there to buy a lot of
items. But Walgreen's didn't have a wooden hairbrush of any kind and I wanted
one bad, from reading that email. Just the thought made me hot.

	I also bought nipple clamps (at adult book store) with a chain
connecting with another chain that connects and makes a T that is a clit clamp.
Hmmm...Something else to hide.

	I didn't have much time to test them out real good and thoroughly?
Before I had to finish running errands. But I did go home and gave myself 10
swats to each buttock and then 5 to my pussy then 10 more to the more center
part of each cheek and 5 more to my pussy and then 10 more to each cheek more
next to the crack of my ass and then I forced myself to give myself 5 more to my
pussy.

	You will not believe the feeling that I had. My butt was a bright pink
and my pussy was swollen and wet. 

	I had a hard time driving while doing my errands; my bottom was quite
warm all over. Later tonight when I sit (should say kneel) and take a brake from
life, I am going to try it again but this time instead of 10 and 5, I think I
will try 20 and 10.

	Do you want to know what the brush looks like? It is about seven inches
long and about three inches wide at the widest point. The handle is about 3/8 of
an inch think with it getting thicker as it gets to the bristle part I would
have to say about 1/2" to maybe 5/8" thick.
	
	Then he wrote something to the point that maybe I should watch myself,
that maybe I would like that hairbrush too much.  I had to try it some more and
that is what I did later that night.  But I wasn't getting it, well you can see.
	
       Ok, I must be doing something wrong here because I cannot get the clit
clip to stay on unless it is squeezed to the hurting point instantly (I have a
very small clit at least I think it is small). The nipple clips are out of this
world. Only thing is with the T part of the clit clip hanging down it gets
caught in the carpet (when on hands and knees in front of dressing mirror) and
can give a strong tug. But the weight of the chain hanging down does feel ummm
supper.

       Another problem I can't get a good swing with the hairbrush to feel that
instant OOOOOH. It is just like build up, build up, and more build up. I have to
be doing something wrong. Do you have any suggestions for me? Please
help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
	
	Crybaby,  As for the clit clip.  First thought is squeeze it to the
hurting point, but first be sure your bottom is well warmed by that hairbrush
and it won't hurt so much.  Hmmm.  Maybe not an acceptable idea.  Second
thought, I guess these are the springy type with the screw in them, or are they
the tweezers type with the little sliding ring.  You know, I couldn't get it to
stay on either.  Try getting the little thing as long and hard as you can, and
put the clip as far back on it as you can.  It has to be kind of dry, which will
be a problem, I imagine.  Third, I could come over and hold it in place,
occasionally jiggling it as the occasion demanded.

	First thought, the Hairbrush is a little too small.  A bigger one will
bite more.  Practice holding it lightly and flipping it by the handle like a
little bat.  I have no trouble swinging this thing at myself rather painfully,
but maybe I am a pain wimp these days.  It takes practice.  I like what you are
saying, my little submissive friend.  Already it isn't painful enough for you. 
Second, maybe you could go shopping tomorrow for a nice ruler, from the office
supply store.  One of those heavy ones with the metal strip on one edge.  They
sting very nicely and have a longer reach.  Third idea, I could come over, tie
you up, and show you how it is supposed to feel.  You would like that.

	Keep working yourself over with that hairbrush.  I want you to send me a
full report tonight on how it feels on your bottom, and how it affects your
attitude and emotional being.  No masturbating until you have done all you can
with the Hairbrush.  You hear me young lady?  Shit, just try hitting yourself as
hard and as fast as you can with it, right in the same spot.


       Don't keep the nipple clamps on for more than 20 or 30 minutes without
removing them for a few minutes, as the decreased blood flow in the nipples can
cause nerve damage if left on too long.
	 Stan

       Hey Stan, it worked.  It does all depend on how the brush is gripped. 
How the wrist is held, if the wrist swings then it stings.  If the wrist is
stable, then you have a better sting with a little oomph after.  You need
messenger, so that we can like do this while talking.  I came while spanking my
pussy.  But it can be more, I know it can.  I think I also bruised it, it is
like really hurting badly.  You know when you said to just hit the same spot
well I spanked my butt for about 100 swats and my pussy forty.  That is when it
hit me; I was on the pussy spanking my pussy with that brush.  I got to ten and
I was like I could take a few more there.  Then I just like lost control and was
beating my poor pussy to death.  I don't know how many times I spanked my pussy,
because I started to cum and I just couldn't stop the slap of the brush.  My
hairbrush now smells like pussy.
      
	Yes, he downloaded messenger.  Yes we talked, or should I say typed.  My
stupid kitten, I guess, chewed the cord in two so I went and bought a new
microphone today.  Tonight he will be there for me.  He will talk me through it. 
Last night when I spanked myself, I really bruised my poor little pussy on the
side.  It still hurts to sit.  I have to send another email to him answering
what he sent to me. This is part of what I say, the rest is for him alone.  You
all know how that is right?

       Stan, you say: It is like setting her mind and heart on fire a profound
and clear fire.  At the same time, it is about turning her on to her own fears
and anxieties and unexamined expectations about sensation and physical response
(well, it sounds good, but I am not sure what that means). (This came from his
answers.)
      
	You do what it means, I felt part of it. I explored part of it with you
last night afterwards. 

Chapter 3

	I sit here and wait for Stan to connect with messenger.  The wait is
unbearable almost.  I want to tell him about my day, I knew I would spank myself
tonight.  I want to give him a cause to spank me in his mind.  I felt this would
be better for both of us.  I sit here and wait, and wait, and wait.

	It is getting late, almost 11 pm.  Last night we were on till 3 am.  But
last night the spanking I gave to myself was over and done with, before we could
chat.  Tonight will be different, I have a microphone that works and he can talk
me through it.  He can lead me down that path of discovery without actual sex
involved.  It will be his voice to guide my hand, it will be his mind connected
with mine, and in the end it will be his marks that are put on my bottom by my
hand.

	Finally he comes on line.  The wait is over and now we can begin.

"Hello Stan"

"Hello Angel"

"I have been naughty today, I really need a spanking."

"Tell me about it."

"You know that I told you that I was going to go buy a new microphone today,
right?"

"Yes, go on."

"Well, I woke up this morning feeling a little down.  So to cheer myself up I
decided I would go shopping at the mall on the outskirts of town.  As I started
to get dressed, I stopped and decided to dress a little sexy today.  I took off
the broomstick skirt I had on and the blouse that went with it.  I pulled off my
panties and went in the bathroom and waxed my pussy.  It was very red
afterwards, it was also a little wet.  I decided on wearing my blue stockings
with the lace tops, these go with a blouse that I bought the other week,
wonderfully well.  I fastened a black garter on and then fastened the stockings. 
I left the panties off, I was thinking of you."

"Go on, what else did you wear?"

"You know how tall I am, and I am really self-consciences about this, so I put
on my three inch winter white shoes and the winter white skirt that goes with
them.  I left off the matching jacket because it is a little warm today.  I
chose these colors thinking of you.  How do you think I look?"

"You sound stunning.  Continue your day.  What did you do with your hair?"

"I left my hair down.  I wanted to draw a little attraction at the mall, with it
swaying against my hips.  I don't usually wear make-up.  But today was special,
so I outlined my full lips to make them a little fuller, and then painted them
with cherry red lipstick.  (The color I wanted my bottom to match.)"

"Cherry Red?"

"Yes, it is almost a purple, but leans to bright red underneath as the color
comes off.  Well any way, I started to drive towards the mall, on the outside of
town.  My skirt was a little high on my thighs, the lace and the garter straps
showed a little.  At one point on the freeway I was passing a big truck, I was
in the far left lane and he kept speeding up.  So I slowed down and put on my
turn signal to get back over, do you know what he did?"

"He slowed down to keep watching you, right?"

"Yes, he wouldn't let me over.  So I missed my exit and now was heading out of
town.  When I was out on that highway, I decided to be daring and to really give
him a show.  I pulled my skirt up higher and I scooted down in the seat.  I put
my cruise control on and placed my left foot up on the dash.  I showed him a
nice bald beaver, one that he would not forget."

"Is that all you did?"

"No, I am a naughty girl.  I did more."

"Then finish."

"With my skirt bunched up around my waist, I started rubbing my thighs.  Then I
started rubbing my pussy.  I almost closed my eyes; I was really getting into
someone watching me masturbate.  I unbuttoned my blouse and put my hand up
inside of my bra and gave my nipple a quick tweak.  That is all it took, for my
hand to slam back on my clit and rub furiously.  Round and round my fingers
went, I wanted something else, but it wasn't there.  I rubbed my clit until I
had a small orgasm, then I slammed on the brakes and the truck flew by me."

"Did you go home then?"

"No, I turned around at the next exit and went to the mall.  I looked like
someone that had a fast fuck in the parking lot.  My skirt showed rings of
wrinkles.  I left my blouse undone to the bra opening, that way my tits showed
as I moved.  I have been naughty and I need a spanking."

"Yes, Angel you have been naughty and you need a spanking for teasing a man that
works hard for a living.  A man that could only dream of having a girl like you,
are you ready now for that spanking?"

"Yes, Stan I think I am ready, take me there."

"Do you have your hairbrush beside you, are you in your blue baby doll nightie
with the matching bikini bottoms, are the doors locked so no one may interfere?"

"Yes Stan.  I have my hairbrush beside me; I have the baby blue baby doll
nightie on with the matching panties.  Everything is secure around me.  You are
here to guide me.  Talk to me and take me there.  Show me the colors; show me
how to find that release that I crave."

"Turn the lights off, are you in darkness?...  Empty your mind of all matters
except for my voice.  Focus on my voice and I will take you to your adventure. 
Close your eyes, can you see me?...  Caress your thighs, run your hands up to
your breast.  Close your hands on your breast and make your nipples hard...Are
your nipples hard?"

"Oh yes, Stan.  They are hard and pointy."

"Grab them with your thumb and index finger.  Pull them out away from you...now
release them and do the same...  Now grab them and squeeze as hard as you can
stand...  Now squeeze just a little harder and don't let them go."

"Yes Stan.  Oh it hurts."

"Keep squeezing them and lean back in your chair...  Put your feet up on the
corners of your desk...keep squeezing your nipples don't let go.  Are your legs
opened wide?...Picture me standing there in front of you with your legs opened
wide...Can you see me?...Let your nipples go."

"Oh my god, they sting."

"Shhh don't talk, just feel and obey.  Put your hands behind your neck with your
elbows out...Push your elbows back...more.  Can you see me looking at your
nipples?...Can you feel me caress you with my eyes?...Am I making you
nervous?...The tension is building, building, the weight of your arms is
great...You keep this position to please me.  I stare at all of your charms. 
You start to blush, you haven't blushed like this in many a year.  You want me
to talk to you, and tell you pretty compliments, but I won't.  You know that you
are already a beautiful woman.  You do not need for me to submit to your
pleasures; you need me to take control."

"Mmmm"

"Yes, I know it is tiring.  So bring your arms down and place your hands on your
knees.  Can you still see me there with you?...I am standing between your
thighs.  I am leaning against the desk watching you.  I have a hold of your
ankles now, you cannot move them.  You can only use your hands...Do not try to
move your feet...You will keep them there and not resist me because you know it
will please me...Entice me now, show me what your hands can do for you...Tell me
what you are doing as you do it...If I say stop, you must stop
immediately...Understand?"

"Yes, Stan.  I am slowly pulling my hands up my inner thighs.  I squeeze them as
I go, it feels very nice.  I am almost at the top of my thighs, now I am there. 
I run my thumbs down under the bands of my panties' legs and squeeze my thighs
with my palms and fingers.  It is starting to feel even nicer.  I run my hands
back up my thighs, I want to pull them to my chest, but I won't because you are
there.  My right hand slides back up the side of my thigh, across my stomach,
and now I am grabbing my nipple.  My left hand still lingers on my thighs. 
Stan, I am getting so hot now.  I want to rub my clit."

"Angel stop, did you stop?"

"Yes."

"Stand up and pull your panties off...Now sit down and put your feet back on the
desk's corners...Now get me your hairbrush...Do you have it?...Take it and slap
your hand with it...Can you feel the sting?"

"Yes."

"Now I want you to slap your inner thighs with the hairbrush...Ten times on each
thigh...I want to hear each smack...I will count for
you...1smack2smack3smack4...I didn't hear that.  Do it again
4smack5smack6smack...7smack...8smack...9smack...10smack.  Very good Angel...You
are doing wonderful...Now let's move on to the other side shall we.
1smack2smack3smack4smack5smack6smack7smack8smack...9smack...10smack...Now how
does that feel?  It took away that tension of wanting to rub yourself, but that
is now what I want you to do.  I want you to place your hands on your breast,
now I want you to grab your nipples...Roll your nipples between your thumb and
index finger.  Do not squeeze just arouse...Now take your right hand and place
it on your clit...You can rub it now.  Leave your left hand playing with your
nipples...Tell me how it feels, how your legs feel, and how you feel."

"My legs are hot and stinging, but the tension in my pussy is greater.  My
nipples are even hot.  My body is starting to put off heat everywhere.  Under
the hair on my neck, my chest, my legs and most especially my pussy.  I am
getting close now...I am about to cum...yes..."

"Stop Angel, STOP"

"Stan, I was so close."

"I know Angel, but now is not the right time.  We have to build you up before
the fire can take over and give you your pretty colors and release."

"Ok Stan, I need to cool down then.  I am close.  Like I told you, it doesn't
take much to make me cum.  It is the stars I want to see, the white hot burning
I want to feel, and the earth shattering I want to hear.  I will wait for you to
take me there."

"Clear your mind and listen to my voice.  Picture me in your head.  You know
that we will be together soon.  Shhh think in your head not with your mind.  I
am here and you are 1500miles away somewhere between lost and found and it is up
to me to find you.  You have no concerns, for I have already found you.  You are
sitting in front of me, as I talk to you...you are cooling down from a build up
of intensity.  The intensity will increase.  We move on to the next step here in
a little while.  Are you still ok?"

"Yes Stan."

"When I come to you, you will be ready to give me yourself totally.  You will
let me lead you on your next adventure.  You will meet me with open arms and be
willing to submit to my word.  We have been building a bond Angel, and that bond
will not be broken.  Tell me when you are ready and I will tell you what to do
next."

"I think I am ready now Stan, I am still hot, but the clenching has stopped."

"Then we proceed.  Are your thighs still open?...Are your feet still on the
corners of the desk?"

"Yes"

"Get my hairbrush and start again to strike on your thighs.  This time I want
you to hold the hairbrush tighter, and keep your wrist taut.  There will not be
a set amount, I will listen to your breathing, I will listen to the sound the
brush makes, and when the two escalate in rhythm, and then, that is when you
will hear me say stop.  Do you understand Angel?"

"Yes Stan, I will stop when you say stop."

"Then begin."

	I begin slapping my thighs with that hair brush and my mind is starting
to shut down.  I am really getting into this.  I can feel the sting, but I feel
an energy encircling my body, my mind, and my soul.  Does he hear me, can he see
me, and will he tell me to stop?  Oh my god, I can't breathe, it is building,
don't let him tell me to stop.  Please don't say stop. "Oh my God!"  I am
starting to cum.

"Stop now Angel"

"NO, I can't."

"STOP"

	I have stopped; I know he will take me there.  I know he will guide me
right, but it was so hard right then to stop.  The feeling is intense.  I
started to feel my colors, red, orange, yellow, and I was almost to white.

"I want you to stand up now and put your legs together.  How do you feel?  What
do you feel?"

"My legs are stinging Stan, they are also very hot.  I can feel the heat
radiating off of them.  I feel kind of wobbly standing here with my feet
together."

"I want you to bend down and keep your knees together, put your chest and head
on the seat.  Just rest, and listen to my voice.  Concentrate on my words and
not on your body.  Let yourself relax, the energy is building around you; let it
enter into your mind.  Let me be there inside of your head when we start again. 
You are doing very good now.  You will feel better in a little time.  Now let's
begin again.  Are you ready now?"

"No, I can't get my breathing settled I still feel my body tensed.  I need to
wait a little longer."

"Then we shall wait.  Tell me when you are ready and I will prepare you for your
journey that you seek."

	I lay here trying to calm myself.  My pulse is racing, my blood is
pumping and I am loosing ground.  I wish he would hurry me up.  I want it more
intense, I want it to last longer, and I want him here beside me applying his
toys to my bottom now.  My breathing is starting to settle, so I guess it is now
time to continue.  All I have to do is to tell him I am ready and then we will
begin.

"I guess I am ready now."

"Then let us begin. Listen to my voice; picture me in your mind. Can you see
me?...I am behind you; I am looking at your delectable bottom.  Here take the
hairbrush and let us begin.  I want to watch and I want to hear each stroke upon
your nicely rounded bottom.  I will count with you, and let our count be twenty
for each of your lovely cheeks. Begin now."

	So now I begin on my bottom.  I want them to be light, but I also don't
want to upset Stan.  I really want him to hear each stroke of the brush on my
bottom.  I want him to be able to picture each swing that is made, by the sound
of the whack as it hits.  I am now at ten, it is really stinging.  I want to
move the brush to another spot; however, he said the other night to hit the same
spot.  So this is what I shall endeavor to do.  Finally I am at 20, I think my
bottom is more sensitive than my thighs, either that or because the slaps were
in the same space and not on my bottom.  Now to the other cheek, it is not as
bad on this side.  Maybe because the other is throbbing, maybe because the other
is putting off so much heat and maybe it is just because I am really getting
into it.  Oh my god, I have lost count.  I hope he is counting, no I don't.  I
want to continue, no I want to stop.  No I have to continue, the feeling is so
tight, hot, and stinging.  I can feel each stroke vibrate to my pussy.  I need
it harder, faster, and OH MY GOD.

"ANGEL STOP, you have passed 20.  You need to learn control; you will not get
what you want without this control.  You did very good on the other side, but
you are losing the control that is needed for your quest.  Let's take a brake,
no touching yourself Angel.  Just sit and breathe.  Focus on what you feel and
how to control yourself.  Think about what it is you want to achieve."

"I am, I have.  It is just so hard when you get caught up in it."

"That is why it would be better if I came and did it for you."

"That is what I want, someone to do it for me.  I want that control taken away
from me."

"Keep silent now, just listen to my voice.  Focus on what I say, you are going
to start again on the other cheek and you are going to stop when I say so.  Then
you are going to switch cheeks and begin again.  I will count for you, focus
only on my voice, and do not focus on the sensations.  This will come no matter
what.  When I say start you must start, keep an even rhythm with the swats.  Now
let's start, One."

	I start again; I don't think he understands how close I am to cumming. 
I know it is too soon to do it again.  I know I will cum without my stars,
without the earth shattering, but I know it will be white hot burning.  Hmmm yes
the white hot burning.  Yes, the white hot burning.

"Stop Angel, you did very good.  Now the other cheek."

"I can't, I am going to cum."

"No you won't, it is in your mind.  Give me that control, just focus on what I
say and it will happen when I want and when you need it to.  Now begin again on
the other cheek."

	I start again, smacking my left cheek.  I am hitting it harder than I
did the right.  I know he doesn't understand how close I am to cumming.  I know
it is too soon to do it again.  I know I will cum without my stars, without the
earth shattering, but I know it will be white hot burning.  Hmmm yes the white
hot burning.  Yes, the white hot burning is there. 

"Angel that is 20 stop.  STOP!!! "OH MY GOD, YES, I'M CUMMING!!!!!!!!"  Angel
you were supposed to stop.  You have no control, you need discipline, and you
will not achieve what you want without me."

"My god I am hot, I am perspiring profusely.  My chest is hot, my hair is wet,
and my whole body is like burning."

"Angel, you are not listening.  You did not get what you wanted because you have
no control.  You really need me there with you."

"Yes, I wish you were here in Amarillo, and then I could have you come over and
show me right.  Oh my god!!! I just told you were I am."

"Yes, you did.  Things people say when they are nice and relaxed.  Yes, I think
I should come over.  Did you know that is where I grew up?"

"Oh my god, I can't believe I told you where I live."  My heart is racing, my
mind is on melt down and I can't think.  I just told someone, a complete
stranger the town I live in.  He knows my name, and now he knows what town I
live in.  Stupid, stupid me.  "You're kidding? Right?"

"No, I use to live over off Grand street.  Do you know where that is?"

"Yes" Oh my god, this is unreal.  I am so stupid; it is posted everywhere that
you never tell where you live until you are absolutely sure about the person. 
First thing out of my stupid mouth is where I live.  I mean the man already
knows my full name.  What I look like and now he knows what city I live in.  On
top of that he used to live here, oh my god, his dad lives here still.  Oh my
god, he is coming to visit his dad soon.  Oh my god, help me!"

"Angel are you there?"

"Yes"

"Well, as I was saying I was going to come and see my dad at Christmas and
everything but we got into a fight.  Well now I have to go out there earlier
than planned because he is taking some trip then and won't be there.  Maybe I'll
look you up and show you what it is you are wanting."

"No, I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Oh, I know it would be.  Maybe not at first, but later it you would agree that
it is exactly what you need."

"NO, I am sure that is not what I need.  Besides every other year we go to my
in-laws for Christmas and this year is the year that we go there.  So you see it
just wouldn't work."

"No, I am talking about coming out there before Christmas."

"Well even before Christmas won't work.  Thank you though."
"Let's just leave it.  You will ask me though to come to you or you will come to
me."

"Don't think so!!!"

"How do you feel?"

"My bottom hurts, I can't sit down.  Just a minute, I want to see what it looks
like in the mirror."

"Ok, can you tell me?"

"OH SHIT, my bottom is red and I mean red.  I think it is bruised, well I know
it is because it is a little purple in the center."

"It probably isn't bruised, wait until tomorrow.  Then you can tell for sure
what it looks like."

"Well I got to go to sleep now, for some reason I am very tired."

"All right then, I will write to you tomorrow.  We can talk tomorrow night?"

"Yaa sure, see ya."

	Well people that was my first spanking experience over the internet. 
Did I like it?  Yes I did.  Do I want to do it again?  Dam straight.  Is my
bottom bruised?  Yes, so are my thighs.  If any body is curios on what it looks
like just go and join the group.  Yes, I took a picture of my bare bottom
showing the bruises on it.  No, I didn't take pictures of my thighs.  Thought it
would be kind of funny trying to get those developed.

	If you wonder what name to look for and you read the first chapter
before this one came out then there is your clue.  My user id and profile was
the same as my email.  Yes, I changed my email.  I started having an overload on
emails, so I had to. 

Chapter 4

	Well I had to take time off from writing there for awhile. My husband
came home and as the expression goes "All hell broke lose." No it didn't, but it
was wishful thinking.  Well maybe in my husband's mind he gave me what for.  I
will let you decide.  Personally I think it could have gone a lot better.

	This is what happened.  Three days after my self-spanking episode I took
pictures of my bottom and posted them on my profile.  You know so if anybody was
interested.  Well the next day was my nephew's swim party and I didn't plan on
swimming so didn't bring suit.  My sister and friends talked me into swimming in
tee shirt and borrowed shorts (didn't want bruises to show on bottom and
thighs).  Anyway was only going to stay a short time, but once I was in
whirlpool and the heat relaxed me, I was like yes, think I can stay for a few
hours.  Make matters short, I didn't get home until midnight.  To my surprise,
my husband was home and waiting.

	And to my greater surprise he had gone through my papers on my desk. 
Did I tell you that Stan wrote me a letter?  This letter was very graphic and
very sensual in details, on what he would do to me when I came to him.  This is
the letter that he said would enflame my husband.  Hmmm, no don't think it
enflamed him.  He didn't say anything about the letter right then.  So I didn't
know he had it.  But I did know he was mad about something.  I didn't want to
know what he was mad about.  We could work that out later.

	Well it was midnight; I hadn't had any real sex in almost a month, so of
course, my goal was to get a little for the night.  I wanted it to be special,
something for him to think about, and a little something for him to want to try
on me.  So I told him I was going to get ready for bed.  My clothes were
dripping wet and I peeled them off in front of him.  Then I went and took a nice
hot shower.  After my shower, I went to our room and lit all of my candles that
are surrounding the bed and on the dressers.  Then I pulled two long paisley
scarves out of my dresser and tied my feet to the bottom bedposts, in a wide V. 
Since they were not tied tightly, I worked my ankles up the posts until they
were as high as possible.

	I lay there waiting it seemed like forever.  I was completely naked and
I was starting to get chilled when he finally decided to come to our room.  I
thought he would come directly to me, but he didn't.  My husband went and sat in
his nice leather chair and put his feet up on the footstool and just looked at
me.  This made me a little nervous, so I raised myself up on my elbows and
looked him in the eyes.  There was something seriously wrong, and he was working
up the nerve to confront the problem.  I didn't want to deal with his problems
right then.  I had other things on my mind.  I thought he was mad because I was
out so late and that could be dealt with later.

	"Baby, come play with me."

	"You already have someone to play with, it seems."

	"What are you talking about?"

	"I looked at this letter, and I seen your bottom, it is bruised."  He
was holding up the letter that Stan had written.

	"Oh, that.  Well you were not supposed to be home for four more days,
and I had a little surprise planned for you.  That letter was my surprise.  I
was going to read it to you and tell you that is what I want.  But since you
found it and already read it.  You know what I want now.  So how about we do
that instead of what I planned now?"

	"Don't think so, not until you tell me about the bruises."

	Now this was a sticky part, would he believe that I spanked myself? 
Hmmm, that is the question.  Well he had to, right?  "I spanked my own bottom to
see how it felt.  The guy that wrote the letter told me how to do it and so I
did it.  I really liked it too.  So, I want you to spank me now.  He says it
will be more intense that way, and that is really what I wanted in the first
place.  I posted a message on-line asking how to get my husband to spank me and
he replied and he has been very helpful."

	"You did what?"

	"I spanked myself."

	"You spanked yourself at the direction of another man?"

	"Well, yes! I wanted to find out how it would feel.  Plus I wanted to
know how to tell you how to do it."

	"You told how many people that you wanted me to spank you?"

	"I don't know.  It was a post, in a spanking group."  Now I was kind of
feeling a little sheepish.  Maybe I shouldn't have done what I did.  But I
thought I could learn something.  Well I did, but he didn't understand.

	"You are my wife!  You are not some Jezebel, which advertises what she
wants, to other men.  You are not to use that computer for illicit actions.  I
got that computer for you to do your little projects on, to do our finances
with, and to do your correspondence with our relatives.  That fucking computer
is not a sex toy and it most definitely is not an instrument to your perversion. 
Just look at you, spread out like a cheap little whore waiting to be serviced by
any Tom, Dick, or Harry."

	"It's not like that.  I just wanted to try new things with you.  Don't
you remember a few years ago when I tied you up, I tried to tell you then that I
wanted this, but you didn't listen.  I am telling you now; this is what I want. 
I want you to take control, I want you to tie me up, and yes, I want you to
spank me!"

	"Well you have given up control, you have tied yourself to the bed.  So
I will use you as you want."

	He came to me and pulled down his pants and stroked his cock a few times
and shoved it inside of me.  This is not what I wanted, I wanted him and I
together on this.  He wasn't even looking at me.  He just pumped on me and did
not even try to give me any enjoyment.  It was over before it really began.  He
pulled out, and then came on my belly.  He had never done that before, he always
came inside of me.  I felt used, and cheap.

	"Well that is what you want right?  Your control taken away, you have no
say on weather you enjoy it or not.  That is how it works when your control is
taken away from you.  Did you like it?  Did it satisfy you?  Do you want to do
it again?"
	
	"No."  He started to untie my legs, but then he stopped and ran his
hands along my thighs.  I thought that he would be nice to me now, wrong.
	
	"Looks like you already tried this route with someone else.  Did he get
rough with you?  Did he make it better for you?  You have bruises going up and
down your thighs, you are turning into a regular little whore!"
	
	"It's not like that!  When I spanked my bottom, I also spanked my
thighs.  It felt stingy but it felt good also.  I just got carried away."  He
wasn't listening to me.  He stepped back and pulled up his pants.  Then he
started to leave the room.  On the way out of the room I heard him say "Next."
	
	I laid there wanting and I did not know what to do.  I wanted him to
come back to me.  I wanted him to understand.  I just wanted my stars, the
white-hot burning, and the earth shattering.  I wasn't asking too much, Stan
told me that it was natural for a woman to want these things.  He told me my
husband was a vanilla type of man, and that I would have problems trying to
change my husband.  However, he didn't tell me he would treat me like this.  I
just wanted to cry, and so I did.  I cried about all the times that my husband
has told me no, I cried about what he said to me, and I cried because I married
a vanilla man.
	
	After I finished crying, I started to think about what I could do to
change things.  I wanted to hurt my husband the way he hurt me.  I still wanted
him to spank me and I still wanted him to tie me up.  Now it was up to me to get
him to change.  I worked my ankles down the posts and then I untied them.  I
pulled on my robe and then went to find him and talk to him.  I searched the
house and couldn't find him.  At first I thought he left, but then I checked and
all of the vehicles were outside.  So I knew he was still in the house.  So I
looked again, and that is when I noticed the guest bedroom door shut.  I went to
open it and it was locked.  I knocked and he wouldn't answer.  I knocked again
and still no answer.  I knew he was in there and he wasn't letting me in.  So I
returned to our room.
	
	I sat in my sewing chair in my room and contemplated what to do next.  I
wanted him to know how serious I was about my wants and needs.  I also wanted
him to know that he hurt me by what he had done.  So I did something that I knew
would get him.  As I said earlier my hair is very long and curly.  It falls a
little past my bottom.  My husband prides my hair.  He says it is my halo and
has asked me to never cut it, and I haven't since we have been together.  But
desperate times call for desperate measures.  So I pulled my hair into a
ponytail and then I pulled the hair tie just below my shoulder blades, then I
cut my hair directly above the hair tie.
	
	I know that hair has no feelings, but I cried again when I cut my hair. 
I was going to take it and place it in front of the door that he was sleeping
in, but then I changed my mind.  I sat there crying in my hair and as I cried I
braided it.  I braided my hair into fifteen stands for the fifteen years that I
have been with him.  For the fifteen years that I have treated him like a king
and tonight he treated me like a dime store whore.  When it was completed, I
went and got a piece of paper and wrote on it simply the words; spank me with
this.  I then took my hair that I made into a flogger and the note and laid them
outside the door that he slept in.
	
	The next morning I got up late, it was already seven and I should have
had his clothes laid out and his bath started.  These are things that I started
doing for him when we first got together and found that it pleased him.  So I
continued, well today is a new day.  Things are going to change.  If he doesn't
want to please me, then the little things that I do to please him will stop.  I
fixed breakfast, no sausage or bacon for him.  I was cooking for myself, and I
do not like meat.  So I fixed scrambled eggs with spinach and cream cheese.  I
made him a plate and left it in the kitchen.  I went and sat down and ate my
breakfast.  He came in and looked at what I had prepared and then he knew he had
a battle on his hands.  Yes, this means war to him.  I am a great cook, when I
want to be for him.  Otherwise I cook to please my palate when he is gone.  I
was going to act like he wasn't even home.  This was my plan.
	
	His plan was to get me under control.  Or to his idea of a perfect wife
again.  He went and got my hair and made sure I saw what he was doing and threw
it in the trash.  He started to put what I prepared for him with it, but I
leaped up and pulled my hair out of the trash first.  He didn't say anything to
me, but just left.  I finished my breakfast then went down and got on the
computer.  I wanted to talk with Stan; I wanted to get his opinion on what I
should do next.  I was emailing Stan when he came home with a sack from
McDonald's, YUK.  My breakfast was a lot better and it was healthier also.  This
was an insult to me and he knew it.
	
	I started to raise issue with it, but he beat me to it.  By yelling at
me to get off of the _ _ _ Dam computer.  Another insult to god and me.  I was
ready for battle, but then he just walked off and went back to the guestroom.
	
	This went on for six days.  No talking to each other, me not cooking or
cleaning or doing anything for him, and finally he gave in.  Or maybe not, it
just depends on how you look at things.
	
	This is what happened on the sixth day, late at night.  I was getting
ready for bed when he came to our room.  I had on my favorite black mesh nightie
and no panties.  This nightie does not cover my lower region, it only goes to
the top of my pelvic bone and leaves everything else bare.  I know he was
aroused by me, because his robe started to tent out.  So I knew I had won, I was
so happy, I could have shouted with pure joy.  However, I just smiled at him and
then crawled in his lap once he sat down.
	
	"Are you going to spank me?"
	
	"Yes"
	
	"Are you going to do it tonight?"
	
	"Yes"
	
	"Do you want me to lay across your knees?"
	
	"No, I want you to crawl up on the bed and then put your chest down on
the mattress and leave your bottom in the air while up on your knees.  When you
have done this I will spank you."
	
	So I crawled up on the bed and positioned myself the way he wanted. 
Then I watched him take off his robe and come up behind me.  He started
caressing my thighs and then he rubbed my bottom.  He took his other hand and
started rubbing my clit.  It felt really nice and finally he started to spank
me.  He slapped my bottom with his one hand and rubbed my clit with the other. 
He continued this for about twenty swats and they were very light.  I had to
tell him harder so yes, I screamed out at him to hit me harder.  Then they got a
little harder but not by much.  When he got to thirty he stopped, I wanted him
to continue, but he just stopped touching me everywhere and sat back on his
ankles.
	
	"I can't do this Angel, you are my wife.  I can't hurt you!"
	
	"You aren't hurting me, it feels good.  Trust me, if you could just
spank me a little harder you will see.  I love it; I want the warmth that your
hand can give me.  (Heck, didn't want to even ask about him using a hairbrush. 
Even though that would have been better.)
	
	"It's not right baby, a man does not hit his woman."
	
	"Then don't think about me being your woman, think about it as a
punishment and that I deserve it and I am somebody else."
	
	"Let's just do something else, I will have to think about the spanking
some more.  I will try for you, but I can't make no promises."
	
	"That is fine, for now.  Will you tie me up and do what I want and not
like last time?"
	
	"Baby steps, let me think about all this first."
	
	"All right, then you have to do what I say no matter what.  As long as
it doesn't involve tying up or spanking, ok?"
	
	"Sure, anything you want baby."
	
	"Then I want to go outside in the back yard completely naked and I want
you to do the same.  Once outside I want you to eat me while I lay in the grass
and look at the stars."  I was going to have stars one way or another.  He has
always refused to have any type of sex outside before, but he said he would do
what I wanted so he had to prove it.
	
	"Baby the neighbors might see us."
	
	"No they won't, and even if they do it is none of their business.  They
shouldn't be looking over our fence."  With that said I got up off the bed and
grabbed two pillows then proceeded outside.  It was a little cooler than I
thought it was, but that is ok.  I planned on being a little warm in awhile.
	
	I lay down in the grass, in the most open part of our yard and waited
for him to come to me.  It took him a while to work up the nerve to come outside
naked, but finally he came.  He stood over me and just looked at me laying
beneath his shadow.  I pulled my knees up and let my legs fall open in
invitation.  I reached up behind my head and pulled my hair out from under me
and fanned it around my head.  The grass felt cool against my back and I arched
up to him.  He knew what I wanted and he knew how I liked it, so I would not say
anything else to him until he was done.
	
	He knelt down between my thighs and started kissing and sucking on my
nipples.  The cool air felt cold when he left them and continued on to my
stomach.  I reached up and covered my nipples with my hands and continued
caressing them.  Then I started pinching them and pulling them away from my
body.  By the time he had his beard touching my mound I was pinching my nipples
as hard as I could.  I waited for him to put his tongue on my clit and that is
when I would release them and not until.  The feeling was intense, my nipples
were hurting, but it was a nice pain, a pain remembered.  He continued licking
around my mound and my breathing increased.
	
	Finally that beautiful tongue of his hit the spot and I released my
nipples, I let out a loud moan and he raised up a little and I shoved his face
back down.  I didn't want him to look at me.  I wanted my stars and I wanted to
dream.  The pain in my nipple throbbed, but it was a delightful throb.  I wanted
more so I reached down and moved his head to my thighs.  He started to kiss
them.  I still wanted more.  "Bite my thighs" He bit them, it was not hard
enough.  I wanted that ache there, and I wanted more!  "Harder, bite them
harder!"
	Yes, that is what I needed.  The bite on top of the bruises that were
still there after eight days.  The agony to give me my release.  I wanted him to
just bite my thighs and forget about my pussy, but he did not.  He had to go
back, I let him for awhile lick on my clit but then I had to force his head and
teeth back to my thighs.  As he bit my thighs I reached again for my nipples and
squeezed them hard until he went back for my clit.  The feelings were fierce and
they were growing.  I could cum just from him biting me and me pinching on my
nipples.  My dreams were getting clearer and I could picture my ankles being
held tight, my thighs being spanked, and me holding my nipples until I was told
to release them. 

	He went back to my clit and I released my nipples.  I was closer to my
goal and I was close to cumming.  "Bite and lick, please my love, please." 
Thank you god, for him following direction.  It was getting more profound; I was
starting to cum.  My legs were starting to close and he put his hands on my
thighs to hold them open.  His fingers on my thighs, on the bruises and bite
marks made it even better when he stuck his tongue inside me.  I could feel the
twinges of pain on my thighs and I could feel the pleasure of his tongue at the
same time.  It was unreal; it was the best that he had ever done.  I came so
loud my poor neighbors probably thought I was being murdered in the back yard. 
He started to stop, but I reached down and held his head against me.  I clenched
my teeth to be a little quieter and continued breathing through my nose and
teeth.

	When he finished and I finished he sat up with a pussy-eating grin on
his face.  I wanted to tell him it was better because of the bruises, but
something stopped me.  I laid there under the stars and patted the extra pillow
for him to lay next to me.  I just wanted to lay there and dream my dream again. 
I wanted to be alone in my world.

	After some time had gone by, I told him that we could go inside and go
to sleep.  He wanted his release, but I refused.  I told him we could play
tomorrow, but tonight was for me.  We went inside and cuddled then he fell
asleep and I got up and went back outside to look at my stars.  It didn't hurt
to keep on dreaming.

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