Rest in Pieces

From the back of the Sunset Funeral Home, the sky in the west was rosy as the rising sun in the east lit the clouds. Sam, the undertaker, and his assistant, Fred, stood by the back entrance, smoking Marlboros and admiring the view.

“Another slow day,” remarked Sam, “nothing scheduled.”

Fred responded, “Well, at least you can give me a chance to win back some of the money I lost in the last card game,” turning towards the door.

Just then, a van with hospital plates turned down the side street, and into the rear parking lot. “Hey,” the driver yelled, “I got one for you.”

“Guess I’ll just have to keep the money for awhile,” said Sam to the morose Fred as the van backed in. Fred pressed the button inside the back door, raising the garage door. After backing up to the loading dock, the driver opened the rear doors of the van and pushed a gurney with a dark green body bag strapped to the top.

“Got any paperwork on this one?” Sam asked.

“Sure,” said the driver, handing Sam a sheaf of papers on a clipboard, “sign here, and here.” “Look, I’m in a rush, I’ll pick up the gurney on my next trip.”  Slamming the van doors, the driver peeled out.

“OK,” says Sam, “Let’s get her into the prep room,” pushing the gurney through two swinging doors into a brightly lit room with a stainless steel table in the center. The two men maneuver the gurney alongside the table, then slide the bagged corpse onto it.

“This one’s really light, must be 110 or 115 pounds,” Fred said, “a lot less work. I hate the fat ones. If we could just charge by the pound, we could make some money on them.”

“This one’s a cremation,” said Sam, “she’ll go up the chimney pretty quick. Let’s take a look at her. The name’s Cindy Bragg.”

Fred unzippered the bag from the head end. As he opened the bag, the long, almost white hair of the corpse spilled out. The face was peaceful, with a pert nose and cleft chin. With more enthusiasm, Fred pulled the zipper down the rest of the body. Perfectly formed round breasts the size of medium apples were revealed next, then a shapely waist and hips. The pubic hair matched the shoulder length hair.

“Wow,” Fred exclaimed, “no dye job here. See how her hair matches perfectly.” Slender legs tapered exquisitely to well-formed feet with painted toenails.

“Cindy is still fresh,” Sam observed, “she’s even slightly warm.”

“Fred,” Sam said, “I think I had better do a little probing here,” sliding off his pants and removing his underwear, shoes and socks. Sam climbed on the table, carefully spread the corpse’s legs apart, and thrust into the dead vagina.

“No rigor mortis for a change,” Sam crowed, “but a nice tight cunt.” He quickly spent himself in the nude body, and climbed off the prep table.

“Mind if I have a go at her?” said Fred.

“Not at all,” Sam replied, “be my guest.”

“I like a smooth ride,” Fred commented, “I think I’ll shave her pussy first.”

As Fred reached for the shaving cream and razor, the phone rang in the office. “I’ll get it,” Sam shouted as he ran out the prep room door.

Intent on his work, Fred carefully lathered the pubic area, and began to carefully shave off the hair, leaving a smooth surface behind. Just as he began the tricky operation of shaving the lips, the doors slammed, and Sam exclaimed, “Jesus, what a fuck-up.”

Startled, Fred jerked the razor. “Ouch!” The corpse yelped, and sat up, then fell back onto the table.

“Where am I? What’s going on?” the girl asked, pleadingly.

“Fred, finish up your work while I explain the situation to Miss Briggs. Oh, yes, and be sure to fasten her to the table so she doesn’t fall off the prep table.”

“Who are you and what is going on? I was supposed to have a tonsillectomy today.”

“Well, Miss Briggs,” Sam explained patiently, “it seems there was a little mix-up at the hospital. After your operation, they left you in the hallway for transport down to the recovery room. At the same time, Cindy Bragg, who died on the operating table in the next room, was left in the same hallway for disposal.”

“What happened,” said Cathy, “where am I?”

“It appears,” said Sam in his most solemn, funereal voice, “that an overworked hospital orderly delivered you to us, and Miss Bragg’s corpse to the recovery room. It’s a natural mistake, as Cathy Briggs looks virtually the same on a tag as Cindy Bragg.”

“But where am I now?” the girl asked plaintively.

“You were delivered to us, that is, the Sunset Funeral Home, for cremation.”

“Thank God you found out the mistake before that. Now let me up.”

“Cathy, it’s not quite as simple as that. You see, I told the hospital a little white lie.”

“Huh?” Cathy grunted in amazement.

“Yes, Cathy, I told them that it was too late, that we had been testing the crematorium this morning, and that you were already ashes. They have already filled out your death certificate and notified your family.”

“This has got to be a joke. Who put you up to it? My brother? My sister? No, I bet it was my best friend, Elana. Wait till I see her!”

“No, Cathy, I’ve decided to keep you here as our guest for a while. You see, Fred here is shy. Almost all the girls he meets are pretty stiff, if you get my meaning. This is a golden opportunity for Fred to sharpen his social skills and have a meaningful relationship. Right, Fred?”

“Right, Boss, although you never let me go first. She’s ready, can I start?”

“Go right ahead, Fred. Enjoy yourself, or rather enjoy Miss Briggs. I have to make a few phone calls.” Sam walked out.

“I can’t believe this! You’re going to fuck me?! What if I say no?”

“I’m a little hard of hearing,” Fred smiled, “and hard of something else, too.” He had already divested himself of his clothing, and had climbed onto the table to inspect his work better. Satisfied, Fred thrust his penis between her vagina lips.

As he penetrated, Cathy struggled, then stopped. Suddenly she arched her back as much as possible, and squeezed Fred’s swollen member as tightly as she could. She moaned and quivered. She came, and Fred felt a gush of liquid envelop him.

Fred, delighted, ejaculated quickly and stood by the side of the table. “That was the best I ever had!”

“Me too,” Cathy smiled, “now, can you let me out of here?”

“Sam’s the boss,” Fred replied, “I’ll ask him as soon as he comes back.”

Just then, Sam returned. “Good news, I think we can resolve this whole thing rather easily.”

“Great,” Cathy, “now let me go.”

“Cathy,” Sam gently chided, “it’s not quite so simple. The hospital has declared you dead. Your death certificate has already been made out and notarized. You must know how hospital bureaucrats hate making mistakes.”

“So,” Cathy said, “what are you going to do with me?”

“Cathy,” Sam answered in consoling tones, “we are going to have a little more fun, then get you ready for market.”

“JESUS CHRIST!!! What are you talking about? White slavery? Sell me to some perverts to fuck to death? LET ME OUT YOU COCKSUCKERS!”

“Cathy, there is no need for histrionics, my dear. We’re going to start by fucking you up the ass. Fred, help me turn her over.” 

As the two men tried to flip the struggling girl onto her stomach, she fell off the table, hitting her head as she fell. Fred and Sam quickly lifted her up and tied her to the table with her ass up. “This will be more fun if we let her regain consciousness first,” Sam told Fred.

As the groggy Cathy groaned, Fred mounted her first. Her increasing struggles excited Fred more, and he continued his frenzied thrusting. As he withdrew from Cathy’s asshole, he noticed that her cunt was dripping wet.

“Hey, Sam, it looks like she’s enjoying it after all.”

“Fred get a bowl and collect her cum. See if you can get any off the table where she came before. Let me see what I can do.”

“I hate you,” the girl said as Sam positioned himself. “Why don’t you go fuck yourself and Fred, too?”

“Cathy, I’m having too much fun right now. Besides, from what I can see, you’re enjoying our little session.”

“FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! WAIT UNTIL THE POLICE FIND OUT!”

“Now Cathy, there’s no need for such hostility. In fact, I’m going to fuck your asshole right now. Enjoy the ride.”

Involuntarily, as Sam’s cock thrusts repeatedly into Cathy’s asshole, she moaned and began to clench his dick with her sphincter. She came again, more copiously than before. Fred collected the cum in his bowl. At last, Sam withdrew with a satisfied look on his face.

“What next, you bastard?” she snarled.

“Cathy, we have to resolve the discrepancy between the official records and your present, rather embarrassing, status. Don’t worry, though, we are going to process you a little differently than most of our customers.”

“What do you mean? Are you planning to snuff me, to murder me?”

“Cathy, let’s face reality. You are already dead. It is impossible to murder a corpse. We are simply going to make the best of a bad bargain, and a little profit, as well. It turns out that you are worth far more than I had thought.

Your driver’s license indicates that you are an organ donor. We are going to harvest your heart, liver, and kidneys. We have also made arrangements with your family for a memorial service tomorrow with a dinner to follow. Fortunately, you will be there as the main course.”

“I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS! YOU CAN’T GET AWAY WITH THIS! HELP! HELP! PLEASE HELP ME! SOMEONE! ANYONE! HELP!”

“OK, Fred, put this ball gag on her and help me turn her over. For such a small girl, she puts up quite a fight.”

Once more on her back, the frightened girl can only stare as Sam and Fred start taking out scalpels, knives, and other tools. Fred absently strokes her cunt and presses his forefinger and middle finger inside. “Hey, Sam, she’s coming again. Should I collect this, too?”

Sam nods, and Fred scoops up the cum in his fingers and wipes them on the rim of the bowl.

Sam turns to Cathy, “Since you have been so uncooperative, I am not going to take the trouble to anesthetize you.” He then cuts her from the pubic mound to the sternum in one quick movement. 

“Fred, hold this open while I take out her liver” As Fred holds the gash open, Sam disconnects the liver and places it in an insulated bag. Next, he exposes the kidneys and removes them. Cathy’s eyes start to glaze over, but she is evidently still alive, although her struggles have almost ceased.

Now Sam takes a small circular saw, and cuts through the sternum. Fred pulls the ribcage apart, cradling the breasts in his palms as he does, and Sam pulls out the still beating heart. With a last convulsive shudder, the new corpse is now still. Fred notices that Cathy has come again for the last time, and scoops up the cum.

Just then, the delivery entrance bell rings, and Fred hurries to the door to deliver the organs to the transplant service. The driver hastily examines the packages and grins, “Nice and fresh.” He hands Fred a money bag, “no paperwork, and cash on the spot, it’s a pleasure doing business.”

When Fred returns to the prep room, he finds that Sam has already chained Cathy’s feet together, and attached them to a hoist. “Clean out the rest of her guts, Fred, we’ll cremate them later.” Fred quickly removes the intestines, gall bladder, uterus, bladder, and lungs, and looks over their handiwork.

“Gosh, Boss, too bad we didn’t have time for a little more fun. He idly thrust his fingers between the corpse’s vaginal lips and wiggles them in the body cavity.

“No time for playing in the box, Fred, give me a hand.” Sam and Fred pull on the chainfall, and hoist their guest’s remains head and arms down. Sam takes a chainsaw and severs the head from the torso.

“Add that to the pile for the furnace,” he tells Fred. “Now, hold her still while I quarter her.” The chainsaw bites deeply between the buttocks, and cuts the body into two pieces, each with a leg and arm. 

“Now hold her shoulders, one at a time,” Sam orders. He slices each body half across at waist level, and Fred carefully lays the pieces on the table.

“Look, Sam, she has a tattoo on one shoulder,” Fred points to a floral panel with Cathy & Elana tattooed inside. “Gosh, do you think she was a lezzie?”

“Fred, I don’t know and don’t care. All I know is that she has been truly and thoroughly fucked.” “Now, where’s that bowl of cum? Catch some of that blood dripping from her neck. This is going to make a great barbecue sauce for her memorial dinner.”