A Night in the Desert

Chapter XI

The next morning found him watching her on the monitor again. She was still asleep, or carefully faking it, he thought. He moved the temperature back up and brought up the lights to normal. He decided to watch her for a while then bring in some breakfast.

Sue Ann was awake but did not open her eyes. She was positive he had a camera on her, hidden somewhere. She felt the temperature start to rise; she thought it must be morning. She wanted to stay in bed but remembered his orders. She stood up, did a few stretching exercises, then folded up the bedding as he had commanded. She stood near the cushion, anticipating he would come in soon.

She couldn't seem to decide on how she felt. Relief at being rescued from prison, but some trepidation as to what would happen to her now. Sue Ann understood her situation all too well. She could be her unnamed captor's property, or she could waste away in a Mexican prison. Before the extradition she had the hope, however slim, that the system would come through and clear her name. She had a fundamental belief that the legal system was honest. But not in Mexico, all she knew about that system were the stories of horrendous prison conditions and widespread corruption. In fact she had seen the corruption first hand, when he had bought her.

The metal collar was heavy on her neck. It served as a constant reminder that for the moment any decision making on her part was moot. Her self-styled owner seemed to be very thorough. Unless he decided to release her she would be staying in this room. She had little choice but to obey him too. All he had to do was ignore her, then hunger would force her to behave to his liking. The real complication was that she knew it wasn't just fear that drove her to obey this man. Something else deep within her had wakened, a desire to please him, to serve him, to make him want her, to see her as valuable. When he was in the room, touching her, talking to her, she couldn't think straight. Her own desire overwhelmed her ability to think clearly.

The bolt on the door rattled as he unlocked her cell. Quickly she knelt, checking her position to make sure she had it right. She lowered her eyes to focus on a point on the floor in front on her knees as the door opened. She smelled food out in the hall as he entered. Once again he stood quietly behind her. Sue Ann had to concentrate on not fidgeting, holding still under his inspection. It made her anxious when he stood behind her. "Hands behind your back" she heard, and immediately placed her hands behind her back, wrists slightly apart, palms facing inward. She remembered how he had turned her hands in the previous night and thought it best to change to what he seemed to want. As he had done last night when she was fed, he once again locked handcuffs around her wrists.

He brought in a chair and sat in front of her. This morning it was oatmeal, warm but bland. She ate each spoonful as he fed her. No salt or butter in it, she thought. Even so she ate it all again; she had no idea when or if she would get another meal. She knew what he was doing, making her feel dependent on him for food. It was working too. She had to rely on him for everything. She recognized it as a form of psychological manipulation, but still she could not help responding to it. Her life was in his hands, to do with as he wished. The collar and chain weren't necessary to keep her in this room; she literally had no where else to go, no one else to turn to for help.

She had no illusions about being a fugitive. She wouldn't last more than a day or two before being caught. Whatever this man wanted she would do her best to give him. Her master , she corrected herself. A thrill went through her at letting out what she had been trying to suppress. She was owned now, mind and body, by someone she didn't know, someone to whom she had never even spoken a single word. She glanced up at him as he fed her, a momentary eye contact she did not prolong. She had no idea how he would react, if he would see it as some kind of challenge or defiance. She could not afford to take a chance that he might misinterpret anything she did.

What she did see in that fleeting contact delighted her. She knew what it meant when a man looked at her that way; he wanted her. She must be doing something right, overall he had actually treated her quite well. While he had chained her to a wall, taken away her clothing, and didn't even allow her to speak, he hadn't beaten or raped her, and he was feeding her, though she would have preferred to do it herself.

He finished with her breakfast, wiped her face with a napkin, and then put the bowl and spoon out in the hall. She couldn't see where he put them but it had to be close to the door, perhaps a table or the cart he had used before. Because he had covered her eyes when he brought her here she had no idea what was outside the door to her room. She assumed it had to be isolated since there were no street sounds, cars, trucks, planes, and no sounds of people talking either. Most likely it was the basement of a house, away from the city.

He came back in and stood behind her again. If he followed his routine from last night, he would release her hands and then leave her alone for some period of time. She waited, careful not to move or look around, hoping to feel the touch of his hands on her arms as he unlocked the cuffs. She heard him crouch down close behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders, and then slowly ran them down her arms, stopping at the steel bracelets enclosing her wrists. He held her wrists in his hands, but did not free them. Instead he let go and stood up, leaving her hands bound behind her back.

He sat down in the chair, in front of her. "Look at me." She looked up at him, expectantly. "Today I will talk and you will listen. I'm sure you have questions. You will be allowed to ask them at another time, but not right now. So pay attention and don't bother trying to remember what you want to ask. What is important right now is that you learn what I want.

"First, I'm not going to allow you to talk, so any questions you have will be irrelevant. Your task is to listen and understand what I tell you. The better you follow my instructions, learn what I am going to teach you, the better your life will be. Fail and you will be encouraged to do better, but I don't recommend you look for such encouragement." He smiled at that. Sue Ann knew what he meant; he could make life much worse for her. Looking at him though, she didn't want to disappoint him. She wanted to do everything he told her, perfectly, and get it right the first time.

"You did well last night and this morning. I am pleased that you have followed all my orders so well. Remember your standing orders as to how you must behave while in this room." She caught the meaning in that last sentence. It implied she would not always be kept here, hopefully a sign she would be given something better. But there was also an implied threat she could return to this room. Still, hearing that he approved of what she had done so far somehow made her feel warm inside.

"Now, I'm sure you would like to know why you are here. In very simple terms, you are here because I want you. I decided to take you. Your police troubles did complicate matters but it worked out for the best. No legal niceties to worry about. I want you Sue Ann, more than anything else in this world. When I first saw you, after reading your diary, I knew I had to have you, whatever the risk or the cost.

"I know you are here because of what I did. I'm the one who put you in jail, and I'm the one who kidnapped you on your way to prison. So one last time I'm going to give you a choice, right now. You can stay here, entirely on my terms, and consider carefully what that means. Or I will let you go, give you some money, clothes, a bus ticket to any town in the country, but you will have to take your chances with the police. If you get caught, I can't get you out again. And you won't be able to lead them to me; I've made sure you have no credible evidence that I even exist.

"This will be the only time I let you decide, so think carefully. If you stay here, you do so as my property, and all that it implies. You will have as much or as little freedom as I grant you, but don't count on very much. Your time will not be your own. You will have no privacy. Your life here will be closely regulated, intensely controlled by me. You will be subject to punishment, severe punishment, if you fail me for any reason, and I will be the sole judge, with no appeal. I will take care of you, but in return you will give yourself to me, without limits or reservations. If you choose to remain with me, you will have no recourse. Do you understand what I'm asking from you?" He leaned close to her, holding her face in his hands, staring deep into her eyes.

She did understand, now more than at any time in her life. She knew what she wanted. There was no real choice, but that didn't matter. Even if she wasn't wanted by the police she would choose to be his. It was right, for her. If she had to argue the finer points, she couldn't justify it, she didn't even know this man's name or anything about him, but she trusted her instincts, this was the man who would master her. She nodded, in answer to his question. She wanted to scream out her answer, beg him to take her, but she couldn't, not until he gave permission.

"Think carefully, Sue Ann. This decision will shape your destiny. The course for the rest of your life will be set by what you choose to do now. And remember, if you choose to stay, it will be the last decision you make on your own. For this one question I allow you to speak, tell me yes if you stay, if you give yourself to me, if you submit willingly and completely, with no limits or conditions. Or tell me no and I will let you go. But if you say yes, I will never let you go, and I will never let you make a choice like this again. Do you want to stay?" He held her face close to his, his eyes stared deep into her own, as if they were peering into her soul.

His eyes were so compelling, she could not look away. "Yes" she whispered, the first word spoken to her new master was ironically her last as a free individual. He leaned back in his chair, letting go of her face. She had done it, given herself to him, to her new master, her owner. Sue Ann felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. No more worries about her fate; her only concern from this moment on would be to serve her master.

"That's settled then. You do not have permission to leave me, which should be obvious to you, but I'll make it clear as to what you are allowed. For now you will remain in this room." He reached out and took hold of the chain attached to the collar around her neck. "I'm sure you would stay here if I removed this, but I prefer to make it easy for you to obey." He jerked the chain down, pulling her head after it. "This way you aren't tempted. More important, I like how it looks on you."

He leaned back in his chair, watching her, his arms folded, a smile on his face. Sue Ann knelt in front of him, wearing nothing more than a metal collar locked around her neck, chained to the wall, her hands securely bound in steel handcuffs behind her back. She waited, conscious of his eyes on her, but she did not move. Though he had said nothing she knew this was some sort of test. She wasn't sure what he expected next. She thought about his words when he had told her to wait, ask permission if in doubt. That was it, she realized, he wants to see if I can be patient. In that case she would kneel all day long without moving if it was what he wanted.

It had only been a few minutes but to Sue Ann it seemed like hours, she kneeling on the cushion, concentrating on her position, trying her best not to move a muscle, while he just sat in the chair watching her. Her nose began to itch. She tried to ignore it but that only made it worse. She badly needed to scratch the side of her nose, but it was impossible. She was under orders to remain in position, and in any case her hands were locked behind her back. She looked up at him, trying to beg with her eyes and the expression on her face. Maybe he understood it, because he did lean forward.

"Something the matter?" he asked. She nodded, hoping he would let her explain. "Hmm, can you tell me without speaking?" Darn, he wasn't going to let her talk. She thought furiously, how to show him? No words, no hands, her means of communication were limited. Then she smiled and nodded, looking up to him for permission to continue. "Alright, show me" he said. She leaned forward and rubbed the side of her nose against his knee. Instant relief, and he laughed loudly while putting his hand in her hair. "Your nose itches, eh? I'll have to remember that."

He stood up, went behind her and removed the handcuffs. Immediately she placed her hands on her knees, recalling how he had explained her position last night. "Very good" he told her, "you remembered. That's all for now. Remember to keep to my rule on how you behave after I leave, then you may stand and move around the room." He took the chair out into the hallway, then closed the door. She heard the heavy bolt close on the outside. Mindful that he might be watching, she slowly counted down while continuing to kneel on the cushion. The count complete, she waited a while longer for good measure before standing up. She cleaned up at the sink, stretched and did a few exercises, then sat down to think and wait, her back against the wall.

She had so much to sort out in her mind. Her feelings toward him, a tinge of fear at her unknown future, concern over what he might demand of her. She was grateful he had given her some time alone. Rested from a night's sleep she could think over what had happened the prior day, the resignation at being sentenced to prison, the sudden shock of her extradition to Mexico, and then her rescue by her new owner. If it could be called a rescue , she thought. It could just as easily be called a kidnapping. Her current circumstances were little better than what awaited her in prison.

Except…except the way he looked at her, and how it made her feel. How did he take away her ability to think with just a word or a touch? What drove her to obey him? What was it that made her sit calmly while confined and chained to the wall?